Whether or not we Mormon moms are too trusting is immaterial, Roger. The buck stops with the parents, no matter how dysfunctional. Excuses abound, but when push comes to shove, I blame no one for my kids' experiences but myself. My reputation is one of Momma Bear. I earned it. That this mother abdicated her responsibility does not absolve her of it. I could whine about my medical problems too (I have one son who has never known a day of his life that his mother was not in pain), but that doesn't absolve me of my duty to and responsibility for my children's welfare. To claim otherwise is simply unthinkable.
The church's responsibility lies with the aftermath, if they attempted a coverup
Sorry to learn of your own "medical problems" and your son's awareness of your pain. Life is not always beautiful for everyone. Your condition however, does not seem to have incapacitated Your "Mama-bear" abilities. ;-) Lucky for Your family, and praise-be to You.
Among the things the LDS church does well, unfortunately, is "coverup". Generally the tendency with insecure, imature individuals and groups. But as LDSism is YET to mature, and accept responsibility for their boo-boos, generally speaking, there is always hope that as new mentality and insight rises to the top that will change... Warm regards, Roger