DiscussMormonism.com

First, the two posts on MAD that got me going on this:

charity wrote:Gosh, it must be obvious to all critics that we have a little shelf outside the chapel doors where we park our brains before we go in.

YH8 wrote:I forgot to retrieve mine on the way out. Of course, if I remembered to look for it on the way out I wouldn't have been able to see/find it, given it's incredibly small size. If you held my hair down you would notice just how small my skull is.

I woke up this morning with a bad headache
And my brain was missing again
It happens all the time
It's detachable.

[background singing begins: "detachable brain" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get my testimony in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it at Church.
But now and then I go to Sunday school, study about the life of Joseph Smith,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around the house, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the chapel where the meeting was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check around the hymnals in the back of the pews
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at church,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my brain for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a human,
and I really hate having to call my priesthood leader every time I need to decide something for myself.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Cougar Eat, and had breakfast.
Then, as I walked up 900 east, towards the MTC,
where sometimes there are garage sales with books and other junk on the street,
I saw my brain lying on a blanket
next to a broke toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back in my head. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it makes me think about things I shouldn't
I like having a detachable brain.

(credit to King Missile for the original version of this song: Detachable Penis)

Thanks for posting that over here. Brilliant.

The boss doesn't like it when I sit at my desk and giggle. But he's not here. Thanks for the lightmindedness.

King Missile. Now that takes me back...

Apparently it takes Bill Hamblin back, too. I didn't mention the original title on MAD, but Bill made reference to it:

Bill Hamblin wrote:I think we should get Tal Bachman to sing Dude's "detachable blade" song.

??? You mean, Bill Hamblin knows about King Missile and the Detachable Penis song? Could he be, like, cool to hang out with or something? A couple more knowing references to the culture of my youth and I might have to revise my earlier assessment of him as a "huge jerk". He could be more of a "little jerk" like Will Schryver.

(<grin> to Schryver -- You know I love you, man!)

I used to talk to John S. Hall and other denizens of Shimmy Disc back when I was a buyer for a record store. He used to send me lots of great swag. He knew all us buyers were promosexuals.

Blixa wrote:I used to talk to John S. Hall and other denizens of Shimmy Disc back when I was a buyer for a record store. He used to send me lots of great swag. He knew all us buyers were promosexuals.

What exactly is a promosexual?

and can they marry?

I've got the feeling that Mormons go around looking for the brains in the same way they go around looking for their glasses... only to realize they're already wearing them.

Mercury wrote:

Blixa wrote:I used to talk to John S. Hall and other denizens of Shimmy Disc back when I was a buyer for a record store. He used to send me lots of great swag. He knew all us buyers were promosexuals.

What exactly is a promosexual?

and can they marry?

One who craves freebies, i.e., a total "promo" slut. Back in the day, record companies, especially small "indie-ish" labels like SubPop, Shimmy Disc, Caroline, Rough Trade, Amphetemine Reptile, etc. used to send out really great, cool promotional material. People who worked in record stores would get very territorial about claiming it. Epic fights.. Sulking. Back stabbing. Employee theft.

Blixa wrote:

Mercury wrote:

Blixa wrote:I used to talk to John S. Hall and other denizens of Shimmy Disc back when I was a buyer for a record store. He used to send me lots of great swag. He knew all us buyers were promosexuals.

What exactly is a promosexual?

and can they marry?

One who craves freebies, I.e., a total "promo" slut. Back in the day, record companies, especially small "indie-ish" labels like SubPop, Shimmy Disc, Caroline, Rough Trade, Amphetemine Reptile, etc. used to send out really great, cool promotional material. People who worked in record stores would get very territorial about claiming it. Epic fights.. Sulking. Back stabbing. Employee theft.

Promo slut, huh? I gotta few promos I might be persuaded to part with. ;)