LDS Sexuality

[_barrelomonkeys]

For LDS and ex-LDS.

What is the point of LDS asking couples about their sex life?

For those of you with children in LDS are you concerned or pleased with the emphasis on sexuality?

Is it normal for someone to feel extremely guilty and ill when confronted with sexual desires, from your experience?

Thanks!

[_harmony]

For LDS and ex-LDS.

What is the point of LDS asking couples about their sex life?

For those of you with children in LDS are you concerned or pleased with the emphasis on sexuality?

Is it normal for someone to feel extremely guilty and ill when confronted with sexual desires, from your experience?

Thanks!

This is the subject that got me banned from Z. Nice to know discussing it will not cause the same thing to happen here.

The point is control. The whole underlying agenda of the church is control. If they can control even the most intimate relationships, they can control the money, and when they control the money, they have the power. So a great deal of time and effort is spent on controlling all aspects of members' lives.

My bishops all knew to avoid asking my children the Masturbation question, to the extent that one of my daughter's had no idea what it was (she asked her boyfriend, which was a hilarious story itself).

[_The Dude]

For LDS and ex-LDS.

What is the point of LDS asking couples about their sex life?

I don't think they ask much of married couples. For engaged couples, there is lots of emphasis on staying "pure" before marriage. The point is to get them married and settled with children as fast as possible.

For those of you with children in LDS are you concerned or pleased with the emphasis on sexuality?

I would be if my children were LDS.

Is it normal for someone to feel extremely guilty and ill when confronted with sexual desires, from your experience?

It is probably a normal experience for unmarried Mormons.

[_beastie]

The question most bishops NOW ask married couples is very vague, something like "are you chaste"? In the past, they would ask more probing questions, but I think have been told not to do that anymore.

In my experience, guilt and sexual difficulties are extremely common in Mormonism. I think it has to do with past teachings that still leave their shadows - in the past, leaders taught that sex was for procreation, and birth control was taboo. I think this teaching was a shadow of the teachings about polygamy, which was actually very victorian in its approach to sex.

I think it's possible the church is gradually changing (there is a rumor that members are no longer required to confess masturbation to the bishop, but that is hotly argued, and I don't think the church has made a clear statement on it, people are guessing from some conference talks). But change, in the LDS church, takes a very long time.

I will never forget one RS sister who was so open about the fact that she didn't like sex, didn't want to have it, that she talked IN RELIEF SOCIETY, in front of a room full of women, about she and her husband having to go get therapy for this problem, and the counselor telling the husband to masturbate to relieve the pressure until they worked it out. Her husband said no, their religion forbade it, and she was very proud of him.

There may not be many sisters who are this open about it (I felt horribly embarrassed for her husband) but there were many others who had very similar attitudes about sex. It's hard for women to be taught, your entire life, that sexual feelings and desires must be squashed and then suddenly to turn the tap "ON" when you get married.

[_moksha]

I think I understand the asking: Sex is a titilating subject. If you don't believe me on this, just look to the media.

People like sex. Why do you think they sell so many giant panda costumes?

[_ajax18]

I think it's possible the church is gradually changing (there is a rumor that members are no longer required to confess masturbation to the bishop, but that is hotly argued, and I don't think the church has made a clear statement on it, people are guessing from some conference talks). But change, in the LDS church, takes a very long time.

I wonder if masturbation is still specifically mentioned and questioned in the baptismal interview. I hated asking that quesiton. I guess I could ask the elders. Any better ideas on how to find out? The first time I was grilled on the issue was by my stake president. I guess all my other interviews were done by my dad who was the branch president and there was no way he was going to ask about that.

That's interesting Harmony that you were able to tell the bishop you didn't want masturbation mentioned in the interview. I wonder how many bishops would agree to that, or what it would come down to if you wouldn't allow it as a parent. Would they just not let your child go to the temple or take the sacrament?

In my experience, guilt and sexual difficulties are extremely common in Mormonism. I think it has to do with past teachings that still leave their shadows - in the past, leaders taught that sex was for procreation, and birth control was taboo. I think this teaching was a shadow of the teachings about polygamy, which was actually very victorian in its approach to sex.

I can see this with adultery and fornication. I'm still convinced that the antimasturbation stance is a way to force people into earlier marriages. Refusing to admit that this is the real reason behind the doctrine may irritate me more than the doctrine itself.

[_Polygamy Porter]

I wonder if masturbation is still specifically mentioned and questioned in the baptismal interview. I hated asking that quesiton. I guess I could ask the elders.

Go ask the online reps on the live chat at Mormon.org


MO: Hi may I help you?

AJ: Hi I would like to be baptized into your church but,

MO: (cutting you off) WOW! THAT IS GREAT!!! WHEN!?!?!?!?

AJ: Soon. I just have a question.

MO: OK!! ANYTHING!!

AJ: I follow all of the rules that the missionaries told me, no drink/smoke, no fornication, etc..

MO: OK!

AJ: But... I do like to masturbate. It is very enjoyable. I do it often, as a matter of fact, I am doing it now as I chat with you one hand is typing, the other is busy..

MO: *silence*

AJ: Will I be asked if I like to masturbate? by the way, I just finished... it was great! Do you like to masturbate?

MO: *silence*

AJ: HELLO?

MO: *silence*

AJ: I will assume you are masturbating and will wait for you to finish.

[_Jason Bourne]

What is the point of LDS asking couples about their sex life?

Who asks LDS couplde about their sex life?

For those of you with children in LDS are you concerned or pleased with the emphasis on sexuality?

I have mixed feelings. I believe we should teach appropriate sexuality which I believe should be only between married people. But I do believe that when I was a teen in the 70's the way we were taught was pretty heavy handed and created exceessive guilt and hang ups for many in my opinion. I think the the Church had made some strides in being less shaming but that there is still a long way to go. I do not have all the answers though.

Is it normal for someone to feel extremely guilty and ill when confronted with sexual desires, from your experience

?

I think that sicuety created guilt and a lot of hang ups about human sexuality and many conservative religions can exacerbate this by using shame and punative teachings to control this area of peoples lives. I think we need to find ways to teach healthy sexual behavior without overtly shaming and guilt tactics.



Thanks![/quote]

[_Jason Bourne]

I wonder if masturbation is still specifically mentioned and questioned in the baptismal interview. I hated asking that quesiton. I guess I could ask the elders. Any better ideas on how to find out? The first time I was grilled on the issue was by my stake president. I guess all my other interviews were done by my dad who was the branch president and there was no way he was going to ask about that.

Im my 27 years in the Church, as a missionary and in other positions where I knew about things ,this has never been a question for baptism or any other specific interview. Yes bishops can and may ask it but it more in their discretion.

[_Yoda]

I think that society created guilt and a lot of hang ups about human sexuality and many conservative religions can exacerbate this by using shame and punitive teachings to control this area of people's lives. I think we need to find ways to teach healthy sexual behavior without overt shaming and guilt tactics.

I agree with this 1000%.