Raising hell over on RFM

[_harmony]

Daniel C. Peterson likes (or did at one time) to play bait and run tactics - the sole reason for the website "SHIELDS".

I wasn't aware that Daniel had anything to do with SHIELDS. You know this how?

[_Nightingale]

Would you guys listen to yourselves? YOU call RfM a hate site? And then sadly shake your head that exmo sites are supposedly hassling amongst themselves? You continually insult Eric and Sus and call Sus a liar, harvest RfM wholesale to feed your own site, troll RfM because - why?, complain because you can't advertise your own boards/blogs there, troll to try and post the link anyway and whine about not winning the Google sweepstakes by getting linked from RfM. And Sus has a problem with you? Hard to see why!

And big surprise - a Mormon doesn't like RfM. Scarcely a compelling argument.

This is a really simple concept, guys. Eric started RfM 10 years ago, not having any idea how it would take off. The fact that they have stayed around since the dawn of the Net and are still going strong is proof enough that they are obviously doing something right. As I have said ad infinitum, Eric didn't start out with the idea of building an empire, he can't quit his all-consuming job to babysit RfM 24/7, when he gets a rare day off he goes fishing, as he says, and pretty much he puts out there what he's got and it does help a lot of people, as you can see from the numerous posts to that effect. He never said it would be the perfect board that suits everybody's needs (all board owners know how impossible that is!). He has no requirement to spend all of his time and money on it. He just says hey, this is what I've got, make use of it if it interests you.

For as long as I've been reading (a few years now) Eric has said his purpose is to reach questioning Mormons and those newly exiting the Mormon Church. Period. If people stay as they progress down the path, great. But the board isn't about changing as they change. His purpose remains constant. People change.

If that impels people to create different boards, that's GREAT!

But who are the ones bitching about RfM? So who is causing the problem? Is bitching and trolling the way you're going to get Sus I/S to be thrilled to link to your blogs? Think about it.

Eric started a site for a specific purpose and the board guidelines are all about upholding his purpose and they do it well, by many accounts. RfM's offspring - all the other new exmo boards - can do their own thing and who wouldn't be happy about the growth of resources, support and friendship for as many exmos as possible.

My impression of Sus is that she tries very hard to keep the way clear in order to uphold Eric's purpose - to help "newbies". I've also read that the board is inundated with spam and trolls (it doesn't help if exmos contribute to that). Who knows what's going on that she has to address (again, as a volunteer, as in not paid for her time and the abuse that gets heaped on her) and very likely some decisions are made due to circumstances and information to which the vast body of posters is not privy. Maybe it all makes sense if you could see behind the scenes. I've seen posts about suggestions for RfM that respectfully discuss what changes people would like to see. Eric has joined in the discussion, welcomes useful ideas and says he'll get to it when he can. What more could you reasonably expect of a hardworking person with little time?

Eric's just a guy who tries to help a specific group of people at a certain time in their lives and he gives what he can, never once promising to be all things to all people. I know that Sus is **always** willing to help anyone - I've emailed her myself about posters who seem to need help and she is THERE for them, any time. We sat up all night one time, sorting out a big hairy problem that if not dealt with skilfully could have potentially brought down an exmo outreach (re polygamy victims). She helps out with many legitimate exmo events, as far as I can see, all the while beating back trolls and keeping the board running as well as possible in whatever circumstances exist.

I would have more respect for your opinion and actions, perhaps, if you didn't aggressively mine RfM to feed your own board/s all the while bitching about RfM. That is so...two-faced...illogical...misleading...underhanded...worthy of disdain - do you not think? To me, there's so much more to celebrate about numerous other exmo boards and resources springing up if it's all about growth, adding resources, exmos entering different phases of recovery, the exit process, whatever you want to call it, rather than the supposed result of some beef about RfM. Do you have to bite the hand that fed you in order to grow up and away and move on to your own thing?

I like what Chad said in the response to the troll post by Merc, vegas, Stan, whatever - that at a certain moment in time RfM helped him and he appreciates it. I hate to see exmos who have benefited from RfM turn around and rancorously criticize it. Can't you just be appreciative to have found some use of it and then move on to other boards more in keeping with your current exmo phase? Build something that isn't based on tearing something else down?

You know what I think is very underhanded and despicable? Throwing up a post at RfM as some kind of weird "experiment". You can tell yourself that board mgt deserves it, in the little war you have yourself created, yet who do you really hurt? Fellow exmos who take the time to respond and pour out heart and soul into the effort of interacting with other posters.

Think about who is the one hurting exmos next time any of you wants to play mad scientist conducting a so-called experiment on fellow exmos.

[_KimberlyAnn]

I appreciate RfM for what it is and still post there, though not as much as I used to.

For what it's worth, Susan I/S and Eric have been nothing but good to me, but the anonymous sniping on that board has gotten out of control in my opinion. Understandably, the ability to post anonymously and unregistered on the RfM board is imperative, but that anonymity allows unstable or jealous individuals to follow posters around, making hateful or crass comments on their every thread. It's tiresome to make a thoughtful post and have replies that comment on everything but the subject at hand. Also, the threads fill up too quickly and then disappear in ten days and that can be frustrating. But overall, I still enjoy RfM and am thankful I found it a little over a year ago. It's been like an on-line home to me for a long time and I appreciate the owner and moderators there for making it available to me.

Also, Infymus, I appreciate you archiving some of my posts, as I didn't save many of them. Thank you.

KA

[_Ray A]

Interesting note though, I’ve been treated far worse by Ex-Mormons than Mormons while I’ve doing all of this. Go figure.

Not hard to figure at all. People are finally waking up.

[_moksha]

So is Susan I/S to RfM what Juliann is to MAD/FAIR.

Actually I can't stand RfM for more than five seconds because of their crappy board.....say what you want about MAD, at least their board technology is from this century.

I guess. I am having a terrible time right now trying to post over there. I PMed Smac about this, but he told me to ask a moderator. I PMed Orpheus and Chaos, but haven't heard back from them. I am afraid to contact Dunamis. Can they make your connection slow and erratic if they are displeased with you for some indeterminate reason? Have you had posting difficulties over there lately Bond?

[_Bond...James Bond]

I guess. I am having a terrible time right now trying to post over there. I PMed Smac about this, but he told me to ask a moderator. I PMed Orpheus and Chaos, but haven't heard back from them. I am afraid to contact Dunamis. Can they make your connection slow and erratic if they are displeased with you for some indeterminate reason? Have you had posting difficulties over there lately Bond?

I don't know about making a connection slow or erratic, but mine has certainly been that way since they unbanned my IP....granted it's a much better spot than IP bannage, so I'm not complaining (Juliann!!). Not sure what to tell ya.

[_Ray A]

I don't know about making a connection slow or erratic, but mine has certainly been that way since they unbanned my IP....granted it's a much better spot than IP bannage, so I'm not complaining (Juliann!!). Not sure what to tell ya.

Good going, Bond. I have it on good authority, too, that if you stroke the mods' egos enough they will make you a Pundit. But then, maybe you're not as unprincipled as I am.

[_Bond...James Bond]

I don't know about making a connection slow or erratic, but mine has certainly been that way since they unbanned my IP....granted it's a much better spot than IP bannage, so I'm not complaining (Juliann!!). Not sure what to tell ya.

Good going, Bond. I have it on good authority, too, that if you stroke the mods' egos enough they will make you a Pundit. But then, maybe you're not as unprincipled as I am.

I've been trying....but I have yet to be punditized. I'm about to go to full out begging, cause I just totally want to be a pundit. ;)

I really don't know how my IP got unbanned, it just sorta happened. No stroking of moderatorial egos was involved!!!! Maybe I should start so that my unbanning isn't temporary.

So has this thread derailed into MAD territory (again) yet?

[_beastie]

Geez, I had no idea what all this was about until it was explained here, and yet cabbie still tried to blame me. Cabbie, I don't think a mentally challenged product of incest (me, according to cabbie) could be the master mind behind all this.

The irony is that I have defended RfM on FAIR many times. I've explained, over and over, why exmormons ARE angry at first, and why they have a right to be angry, and why venting on RfM may be helpful.

But at the same time, I won't defend the more juvenile aspect of RfM, and the apparent mob mentality someone else noted above.

Eric is a great guy, and offering a service with good intent. None of this should reflect on him, personally. I think the difficulties RfM presents is due to its size, and the intense activity of the board, as well as allowing anonymous posting. I don't know what the answer is for them. I would guess that any board that has that level of activity is going to have similar problems.

[_harmony]

Geez, I had no idea what all this was about until it was explained here, and yet cabbie still tried to blame me. Cabbie, I don't think a mentally challenged product of incest (me, according to cabbie) could be the master mind behind all this.

The irony is that I have defended RfM on FAIR many times. I've explained, over and over, why exmormons ARE angry at first, and why they have a right to be angry, and why venting on RfM may be helpful.

But at the same time, I won't defend the more juvenile aspect of RfM, and the apparent mob mentality someone else noted above.

Eric is a great guy, and offering a service with good intent. None of this should reflect on him, personally. I think the difficulties RfM presents is due to its size, and the intense activity of the board, as well as allowing anonymous posting. I don't know what the answer is for them. I would guess that any board that has that level of activity is going to have similar problems.

I haven't been to RfM in years. I don't like their format, and I don't like the largely inability to challenge their thinking.

I am interesting in finding out why Infymus thinks Daniel Peterson had anything to do with SHIELDS?