Yediyd from LDSForums.com.

[_jayneedoe]

Hello everybody,

Long time no see. Anybody remember me?

Okay, I need to get serious here.

I am a personal friend of Yediyd's, and I find myself in the difficult position of asking you guys to please back off. I know that's going to make most of you angry, and, believe me, I never thought the day would come when I would ask such a thing. But I am.

She has become very dear to me, and as such, I am aware of her personal situation. The church is her lifeline right now, and if she were to lose her testimony it would break her. She has no other lifeline, and while its easy to say the truth is more important, I think I've learned from this that that's not always necessarily so.

I know in the past I would not have given a second thought to pursuing a person, like Yediyd, who had expressed distress at her doubts. But please believe me, it would absolutely devastate her, to her core. And she is just not strong enough for that.

I believe she told you some of her background, which was beyond horrific. Given her background she is astonishingly strong many ways, especially as a mother. I am in awe of her dedication to her children.

At the same time, she is also terribly fragile, and badgering her about the Church's lack of credibility, to the point that she loses her testimony, would crush her to the point she might very well lose her strength. She would crumble, and she can't do that. She has to take care of her children, and she needs the Church to do that right now. The Church literally keeps her going, and I don't think that's a bad thing, not for right now.

Also, her ward is very supportive of her. It is in New York, and while not perfect, it does take care of her and her children. Other than that, she has no one. So please don't dismiss that!

Maybe sometime down the road, when she's stronger, she can handle some of these truths, a little bit at a time.

But today is not that day.

So, please, let her be for right now?

Jaynee

[_moksha]

Hi Jaynee! Sorry to hear about your friend. Once warned, I trust no one here would try to inflict any harm. Best wishes to the both of you.

[_Polygamy Porter]

Hello everybody,

Long time no see. Anybody remember me?

Okay, I need to get serious here.

I am a personal friend of Yediyd's, and I find myself in the difficult position of asking you guys to please back off. I know that's going to make most of you angry, and, believe me, I never thought the day would come when I would ask such a thing. But I am.

She has become very dear to me, and as such, I am aware of her personal situation. The church is her lifeline right now, and if she were to lose her testimony it would break her. She has no other lifeline, and while its easy to say the truth is more important, I think I've learned from this that that's not always necessarily so.

I know in the past I would not have given a second thought to pursuing a person, like Yediyd, who had expressed distress at her doubts. But please believe me, it would absolutely devastate her, to her core. And she is just not strong enough for that.

I believe she told you some of her background, which was beyond horrific. Given her background she is astonishingly strong many ways, especially as a mother. I am in awe of her dedication to her children.

At the same time, she is also terribly fragile, and badgering her about the Church's lack of credibility, to the point that she loses her testimony, would crush her to the point she might very well lose her strength. She would crumble, and she can't do that. She has to take care of her children, and she needs the Church to do that right now. The Church literally keeps her going, and I don't think that's a bad thing, not for right now.

Also, her ward is very supportive of her. It is in New York, and while not perfect, it does take care of her and her children. Other than that, she has no one. So please don't dismiss that!

Maybe sometime down the road, when she's stronger, she can handle some of these truths, a little bit at a time.

But today is not that day.

So, please, let her be for right now?

Jaynee

So then who is at fault?

You are her personal friend and you allowed her to be duped into believing that Santa really does exist? And once you saw that it might keep her alive, you decided to leave it that way?

in my opinion, you and your church set her up. The facade of Mormonism gave her false hope. Now as she starts wondering what is behind the curtain, you are running around frantically trying to distract her and to hide the machines behind the curtain.

Do you not think she will wonder WHY the anal mods over there deleted not only the "offending posts" from some of our posters, but they also zealously deleted her posts! Post of which she probably thought were valid.

Further, what if she stumble upon this board and YOUR post? How will she feel? This hole appears to be getting deeper.

How long do you really think her local ward is willing to support her? The support comes with a price, with a lack of more activity on her part, they will grow tired of the facade that they put up to make her believe that they genuinely care about her and it will soon fade. I saw it happen all the time in past wards.

We all know the pattern and it usually ends up leaving them lower than they began. Assigned friends never last.

The Mormons really need to evaluate cases like this. Had they on this particular case, they would have realized there would never be a return on the time and money invested. But at the end of the fiscal year for LDS Inc it's not about people and their lives. Its about incoming tithes. Pass them all through the turnstile in the baptismal font... we need to show growth! That is what will keep the main body of the tithe payers paying.

Good luck.

[_jayneedoe]

in my opinion, you and your church set her up.

I'm not Mormon, I didn't know her when she joined, and had nothing to do with her conversion. I've known her for about three months now.

Further, what if she stumble upon this board and YOUR post? How will she feel? This hole appears to be getting deeper.

I showed it to her. She wasn't happy with everything, but was glad I stood up for her. She said she was stronger than I gave her credit for.

How long do you really think her local ward is willing to support her? The support comes with a price, with a lack of more activity on her part, they will grow tired of the facade that they put up to make her believe that they genuinely care about her and it will soon fade. I saw it happen all the time in past wards.

We all know the pattern and it usually ends up leaving them lower than they began. Assigned friends never last.

The Mormons really need to evaluate cases like this. Had they on this particular case, they would have realized there would never be a return on the time and money invested. But at the end of the fiscal year for LDS Inc it's not about people and their lives. Its about incoming tithes. Pass them all through the turnstile in the baptismal font... we need to show growth! That is what will keep the main body of the tithe payers paying.

Blah Blah Blah

I haven't been here for months, and come back to find you're still blathering the same, tired talking points. Is it true? Some of it, though not in her case.

Do we need to hear it over and and over and over in sentences that are barely coherent? God no.

Porter, change the f****** record!

Jaynee

[MODERATOR NOTE: Please do not use the "F" word, or any of its variants, in the Terrestrial Forum.]

[_DonBradley]

Hi Jayneedoe,

Is your friend online to discuss or defend the truthfulness of Mormonism? If so, there's little hope that all critics will fail to respond.

Perhaps your best option would be to discourage her from engaging in such discussions.

Don

[_jayneedoe]

Hi Jayneedoe,

Is your friend online to discuss or defend the truthfulness of Mormonism? If so, there's little hope that all critics will fail to respond.

Perhaps your best option would be to discourage her from engaging in such discussions.

Don

Hi Don,

She will not come to this site, nor any other site for the time being. She is comfortable at the one she frequents.

I was referring to those who had followed her to the site I mentioned above.

Anyone certainly can go over there and post whatever the mods will let them. I just was asking those people not to target Yediyd personally, which they had been doing previously.

Jaynee

[_Sethbag]

I second what Don said. As long as she goes into online web forums discussing Mormonism, she's going to have a hard time avoiding this kind of thing, and if she's weak (read: not strongly indoctrinated enough) then she may well read some truth that she would rather not know.

I think it's sad that someone can be in such an emotional or mental state that it's conceivably better for them to continue living in a mythology-based virtual reality, and that learning the true nature of this virtual reality (ie: that it's not "true" in the TBM sense of the word) would actually be a bad thing.

But hey, I may be convinced that the church is just a manmade church like all the other churches out there, but I'm not one for pursuing someone looking to destroy their testimony or anything like that. This board, and the MAD board, are pretty much the only places I discuss the untruth of Mormonism, and people at these two sites know well enough what they're getting into.

[_jayneedoe]

I second what Don said. As long as she goes into online web forums discussing Mormonism, she's going to have a hard time avoiding this kind of thing, and if she's weak (read: not strongly indoctrinated enough) then she may well read some truth that she would rather not know.

I think it's sad that someone can be in such an emotional or mental state that it's conceivably better for them to continue living in a mythology-based virtual reality, and that learning the true nature of this virtual reality (ie: that it's not "true" in the TBM sense of the word) would actually be a bad thing.

But hey, I may be convinced that the church is just a manmade church like all the other churches out there, but I'm not one for pursuing someone looking to destroy their testimony or anything like that. This board, and the MAD board, are pretty much the only places I discuss the untruth of Mormonism, and people at these two sites know well enough what they're getting into.

Sigh...again, people from this site followed her to the forum she frequents and were personally leaving her posts. Dr. Shades was the last person to do so. That's when I wrote the post here asking that everyone leave her alone.

Jaynee

[_jayneedoe]

I want to make it clear that I have no problem, in principle, with what anyone here has done (except Porter--you're just a mean dog.). But it has taught me that things are not always what they seem.

The reason my friend was upset was not really because of the information she learned from you guys. It was because she thought you were mocking her. She had come to this website and read the thread where you made comments about her.

Not knowing you guys she took it personally. I read the thread, and having known most of you for a long time, I explained that the only person who had been mean was PP. I explained how he is always mean to Mormons, and to please not take a word he says personally. But the experience put her off ever coming here again, and I think that's unfortunate. Everyone lost out on meeting a really wonderful woman. And she could have learned the truth as she was ready, IF she was ever ready. But now that won't happen, and that's nobody's fault.

She was very upset at discovering information from you guys that she had not learned from the Church. She has been a member for three years, and did feel that by now she should have learned about it. In fact, we met on the other board when she asked a question about the MMM. She had not heard of it either except a minor reference and brought it up. I explained it to her, and she was shocked.

If she asks me about church history, which she knows is my passion, I am very upfront and honest. If she were to come to this site, I'd have no problem with anyone encouraging her to discuss the Book of Abraham, or any comparable issues.

But how do you know you're always doing a good thing when you track someone down and continue giving them information? In the past my answer would have been "the truth is the truth."

Now, I'm not so sure and I feel very conflicted. I love my friend, and her ward does not consider her "an assignment." I don't want her to lose that. When she's ready for the truth, I know she'll tell me.

Jaynee

[_Sethbag]

Good luck with that. I can see your heart is in the right place. I wish her the best of luck.