Hello from the FAIR Conference

[_wenglund]

By chance I happened to stop by the board this morning just to say a friendly "hello", only to learn to my pleasant suprise that the FAIR Conference was about to start. Since I had some free time over the next couple of days, I decided to drive the several mile or so from my home and attend.

So far I have enjoyed it immensely--particularly the priviledge of meeting a number of people who post or lurk on this board as well as MA&D. I regret, though, that I won't be able to visit with those of you who are unable to attend. However, you are in my thoughts.

Of perhaps some interest to you, Wendy Ulrich, a psychologist, spoke about the impact that our personal lives may have on our view of God and the Church. She passed out a questioneer designed to illustrate her point, and I thought it might prove useful to post the questioneer here for discussion. I will do so when I get a moment over the next several days.

I hope all is going well with you. Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_harmony]

By chance I happened to stop by the board this morning just to say a friendly "hello", only to learn to my pleasant suprise that the FAIR Conference was about to start. Since I had some free time over the next couple of days, I decided to drive the several mile or so from my home and attend.

So far I have enjoyed it immensely--particularly the priviledge of meeting a number of people who post or lurk on this board as well as MA&D. I regret, though, that I won't be able to visit with those of you who are unable to attend. However, you are in my thoughts.

Of perhaps some interest to you, Wendy Ulrich, a psychologist, spoke about the impact that our personal lives may have on our view of God and the Church. She passed out a questioneer designed to illustrate her point, and I thought it might prove useful to post the questioneer here for discussion. I will do so when I get a moment over the next several days.

I hope all is going well with you. Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Good to "see" you, Wade. Enjoy your conference. I'm interested in hearing your report.

[_barrelomonkeys]

By chance I happened to stop by the board this morning just to say a friendly "hello", only to learn to my pleasant suprise that the FAIR Conference was about to start. Since I had some free time over the next couple of days, I decided to drive the several mile or so from my home and attend.

So far I have enjoyed it immensely--particularly the priviledge of meeting a number of people who post or lurk on this board as well as MA&D. I regret, though, that I won't be able to visit with those of you who are unable to attend. However, you are in my thoughts.

Of perhaps some interest to you, Wendy Ulrich, a psychologist, spoke about the impact that our personal lives may have on our view of God and the Church. She passed out a questioneer designed to illustrate her point, and I thought it might prove useful to post the questioneer here for discussion. I will do so when I get a moment over the next several days.
I hope all is going well with you. Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Wenglund, will you have an opportunity to post the questioneer?

Thanks.

[_wenglund]

By chance I happened to stop by the board this morning just to say a friendly "hello", only to learn to my pleasant suprise that the FAIR Conference was about to start. Since I had some free time over the next couple of days, I decided to drive the several mile or so from my home and attend.

So far I have enjoyed it immensely--particularly the priviledge of meeting a number of people who post or lurk on this board as well as MA&D. I regret, though, that I won't be able to visit with those of you who are unable to attend. However, you are in my thoughts.

Of perhaps some interest to you, Wendy Ulrich, a psychologist, spoke about the impact that our personal lives may have on our view of God and the Church. She passed out a questioneer designed to illustrate her point, and I thought it might prove useful to post the questioneer here for discussion. I will do so when I get a moment over the next several days.
I hope all is going well with you. Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Wenglund, will you have an opportunity to post the questioneer?

Thanks.

I am just about to head out the door for golf, so I will post it tomorrow.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Roger Morrison]

Hi Wade, good to read you're fine! Often wondered how ya doin'? Looking forward to the questionnaire. Warm regards, Roger

[_wenglund]

As promised, here is the questioneer:

1. List 6-7 positive characteristics of your parents or caretakers? Circle the three best traits.

2. List 6-7 negative characteristics of your parents or caretakers? Circle the three worst traits.

3. What were your deepest fears with any of your parents or caretakers? Circle the worst fear.

4. What did you want but not get from your parents or caretakers? Circle the deepest unfulfilled desire.

5. As a child relating to your parents or caretakers, what negative feelings or thoughts about yourself did you have over and over? Circle the worst feeling.

6. List three frustrations you experience as a child in your home and how you typically responded to each.

7. What is a question, issue, or situation in the Church that troubles you, and what specifically about the issue stands out to you as a problem?

8. What problem does this issue create or exemplify for you?

9. When have you faced a similar problem? How did you feel in that situation?

10. If the Church is true, what does this issue make you wonder about God?

11. If you accept the Church's viewpoint on this issue, what might that mean about you?

12. I have unconsciously spent my life searching for a God/Church/religious leader with these traits:

13. What I tend to both look for and fear are evidences that God/Church/religious leaders are really:

14. I unconsciously expect God/Church/religious leaders to make me feel:

15. And then I wish God/Church/religious leaders would give me (even though unconsciously I don't think they will):

16. When my needs are not met or I am under stress I often feel (and I assume God/Church/religious leaders are responsible for my feelings):

17. Then I often respond this way:

...when what I really need to do to heal and grow is the opposite of this, which would be:

18. What two or three things attracted you to the Church when you first began exploring it?

19. How might the things in the Church that trouble you feel a betrayal of that earlier promise?

20. As you look at what attracted you to the Church and what you loved about it when you first decided to embrace it, what is the problem created by having too much of that thing, or of it getting out of balance?

21. Are there ways you get angry with the Church for behavior or attitudes you actually need more of in your life but don't allow yourself?

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_truth dancer]

Hi Wade...

Thanks for sharing this.

I get the impression, (I am NOT claiming this is the intent at all), that this reflects what is important in a belief system to an individual rather than what is necessarily truth.

In other words, do we search for a belief system that accomodates what we need? Or is the truth attractive to everyone? Or is the true church only attractive or meaningful to those who are the chosen (need certain things)? Or do we find a support system to help us manage life regardless of its truthfulness? Is the church appropriate for some people whose needs are met but not others who needs are not met? What is the implication of a one and only true church who only meets the needs of a few people? Does one's particular needs open one up to belief in things that do not seem believable?

If there was a one and only way to God, a one and only true church, it would seem to transcend this.

Again, I am just asking and open to discussion...

Thanks,

~dancer~

[_Roger Morrison]

Thanks Wade, considering the list in segments i sense a similar objective as with the approach of Scientologists who want to focus on the negative stuff of life rather than the positive--generally speaking. i.e. "What were the most scarry things in childhood?" (Requiring "Auditing") Rather than, what were your most rewarding, happy moments?? (No need for "Auditing" or Sci...gy) Could be wrong but...

Good childhood memories & moments minimize fears & anxieties... Expectations with positive reinforcement of efforts encourages self confidence, & independence... Not good preparation for unquestioning obedience to authority...

What attracts one to LDSism is quite a personal thing... I suggest THE one common factor is "The Missionaries"... Without Ms there'd be no (little?) LDSism, IMSCO. Second to the Ms is the social factor...good folk being nice and free with strokes and validation. Hard to resist, and happy involvement brings many personal rewards & much gratification...

"...love about the church..." is rather presumptuous and cultish, IMSCO... I suggest like, enjoy, practice, even embrace but "love" is only shared with others. LDSism never extended unconditional-love/acceptance--beyond generousity--to anyone, in my experience...

Probably a fact at first obscured that became more obvious as the "honey-moon" waned, so-to-speak. And i matured to a more 'holistic', rather than 'holy' understanding of the Universe and life itself.

The last few questions seem rather asinine attempts to lead answers. As in the last one:

Are there ways you get angry with the Church for behavior or attitudes you actually need more of in your life but don't allow yourself?

(Bold added) Hau????

My greatest disappointment in the church, that i faihfully supported financially and energetically for many decades, was to find it not as pretended or proffered. So be it...

Enjoy it as you may for its good stuff as long as comfortable doing so. But don't be mislead into believing your--or anyone's--eternal destiny is dependent upon membership in the Mormon church any more than it is as a member of any Church. IF there is an immortal destiny for anyone it will not be determined by what Church one attended. Rather it will be by how one deals with others in the human race to the grave... Warm regards, Roger

[_wenglund]

Hi Wade...

Thanks for sharing this.

I get the impression, (I am NOT claiming this is the intent at all), that this reflects what is important in a belief system to an individual rather than what is necessarily truth.

In other words, do we search for a belief system that accomodates what we need? Or is the truth attractive to everyone? Or is the true church only attractive or meaningful to those who are the chosen (need certain things)? Or do we find a support system to help us manage life regardless of its truthfulness? Is the church appropriate for some people whose needs are met but not others who needs are not met? What is the implication of a one and only true church who only meets the needs of a few people? Does one's particular needs open one up to belief in things that do not seem believable?

If there was a one and only way to God, a one and only true church, it would seem to transcend this.

Again, I am just asking and open to discussion...Thanks, ~dancer~

As mentioned previously, the intent of the questioneer was to underscore Wendy's thesis about personal experiences effecting one's perception of God, and thus their impact on one's pursuit of God. I suspect that the questioneer could easily apply to most any faith-tradition, and not just the "only true church". In fact, if I recall correctly, many of her questions were adapted from another questioneer on romantic love that was intended to analyze what people often look for in a spouse or partner. So, at least in principle, it has broad application.

Now, while the search for truth may be a significant factor in one's faith-journey, Wendy's point is that the way truths are viewed and determined as truth, as well as the choices that are made as to which truths to pursue, may be influenced (heavily in some cases and in some respects) by one's personal wants and needs. Her point also is that "truth" is not all that may be sought--I believe wisely so, particularly since religious faith often entails more than just the intellectual, and also "the Truth" about spiritual matters may not be determinable with absolute certainty when viewing as if through a glass darkly, and as such, there may be other factors to consider, factors such as what will make the person happy, or how things might satisfy other human needs.

I hope that helps.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_truth dancer]

Hi Wade...

Thanks for this.

I have heard Wendy speak and read some of her thoughts and I get the impression that for her religion is not about truth but about what helps the individual... am I correct in this?

~dancer~