Sacrament Meeting Teachings....

[_truth dancer]

Just sharing a few of the teachings from one talk today in Sacrament meeting to show what is being taught.

Adam was a real man, we are not punished for his sins.

The tower of Babel was a real event from which the Jaradites departed.

Polygamy ended when it became against the law ( I guess he didn't realize that it was against the law when it started and continued for 14 years after they promised it had stopped).

The final war discussed in the Book of Mormon was a real war in the United States (he wasn't sure if it included parts of Canada).

The fullness of the gospel is found in the Book of Mormon (not sure where garments, temple ceremonies, modern day teachings come from).

The Prophet receives direct revelation from Jesus Christ on a regular basis... and shares this with us every general conference.

The scriptures are the word of God and modern day scriptures were written and saved to come forth in our day (I guess he didn't hear about the Book of Abraham catalyst theory).

Member of the church are the elect of God, and the church is to gather the very elect together to welcome the return of Jesus here in Zion.

If you pray about these truths (his talk), you will know by the gift of the HG that they are true.

(sigh)

~dancer~

[_The Nehor]

Just sharing a few of the teachings from one talk today in Sacrament meeting to show what is being taught.

Adam was a real man, we are not punished for his sins.

The tower of Babel was a real event from which the Jaradites departed.

Polygamy ended when it became against the law ( I guess he didn't realize that it was against the law when it started and continued for 14 years after they promised it had stopped).

The final war discussed in the Book of Mormon was a real war in the United States (he wasn't sure if it included parts of Canada).

The fullness of the gospel is found in the Book of Mormon (not sure where garments, temple ceremonies, modern day teachings come from).

The Prophet receives direct revelation from Jesus Christ on a regular basis... and shares this with us every general conference.

The scriptures are the word of God and modern day scriptures were written and saved to come forth in our day (I guess he didn't hear about the Book of Abraham catalyst theory).

Member of the church are the elect of God, and the church is to gather the very elect together to welcome the return of Jesus here in Zion.

If you pray about these truths (his talk), you will know by the gift of the HG that they are true.

(sigh)

~dancer~

Wow, that's a large group of things to teach. What was the central topic out of curiosity?

[_Maxrep]

I'm a bit surprised the subject of polygamy was even broached, however inaccurately!

Sometimes staring off into space is the only relief available in sacrament meeting, well that and passing an occasional note to my apostate buddy. Its hard to listen when you know corrections are needed.

[_truth dancer]

Hi Nehor...

LOL! Me too! There was actually quite a lot more!

The theme of the meeting was studying your scriptures. He was all over the place! Not that it was a bad talk by most LDS standards it was just so filled with things most of us know are not true.

During his talk he discussed the thirteen articles of faith and went through each one...

The polygamy idea was during the 12th AoF... you know, the one about obeying the law. He stated that most people only know one thing about the Mormons.. they are the one's with all the wives. He made a joke and said, "No, not wives, children.... all from one wife." ;-) Anyway, he said that whenever non-members ask about polygamy, members should reply that they are law abiding citizens and the practice was stopped when it became against the law.

~dancer~

[_Jersey Girl]

Hi TD,

I've never been to Sacrament Meeting so thank you for sharing what goes on! With regards to this point of disagreement with what was taught:

"The tower of Babel was a real event from which the Jaradites departed."

Do you think that the tower itself never existed or that the story surrounding it is false?

[_truth dancer]

Hi Jersey Girl... How are you? :-)

Do you think that the tower itself never existed or that the story surrounding it is false?

Personally I think the story is myth but in the LDS church I was taught that the dispersion of the people of the day was the reason for the various diverse languages today. I think this is pretty well understood to be myth in the scholarly community and certainly by LDS apologists I have encountered.

It becomes problematic for the LDS because the Jaradites supposedly left the Tower of Babel to come to the Promised Land.

The brother of Jared (they do not give him a name but call him this), and his family and friends asked God to not confound their languag then came to the Promised Land which was saved for them.

So, for those who believe the story as myth, it makes it a little difficult to find a way to make sense of the Jaradite story.

Does that make sense? :-)

~dancer~

[_The Nehor]

Nehor's Rules of Sacrament Talking (A plea from the Congregation)

1. If you only mention Jesus Christ once in the talk in the closing then your talk is probably less useful than you think.

2. If you don't mention God at all why are you standing up there?

3. Don't teach at the edge of your knowledge. If you learned something you think is cool for the first time in a book you read last night study it a little more and then mention in your next talk. Most of the stupidest things said in Sacrament Meeting are said with wide eyed-smiles as you think you're enlightening people of something you and you alone know. A third of the congregation doesn't get it, another third shut off when you started, and the last third think you're embarrassing yourself.

4. All Gospel principles tie into the Atonement. Tie your topic in.

5. Your peripherally connected story that you feebly tied to the talk because you love it is irrelevant, leave it out.

6. Don't wait for people to turn to something in their scriptures. Just read it.

7. You're human, admit it. If every story you tell has you as the hero we will get suspicious. A ward is a small place, we know a lot about you.

8. Tears do not necessarily equal the Spirit.

9. Please don't read long poems.

10. Humor is good, stand-up comedy acts not so good.

11. Smile, this is a Gospel of Joy.

12. Don't intentionally imitate a general authority in tone of voice particularly if you're in your 20's. You sound like a doof.

[_Jason Bourne]

Just sharing a few of the teachings from one talk today in Sacrament meeting to show what is being taught.

Adam was a real man, we are not punished for his sins.

Yes of course. I am not sure why Nephi thinks most Mormons think Adam is figurative.

The tower of Babel was a real event from which the Jaradites departed.

Yep of course.

Polygamy ended when it became against the law ( I guess he didn't realize that it was against the law when it started and continued for 14 years after they promised it had stopped).

Bwaaaahahahahahhaaa! He should read the chapters I just read in Van Wagners book on Mormon Polygamy. I just read them today. The Manifesto and Post Manifesto Polygamy. Man did these fellows dance and plan subterfuge and out right lie. And boy did they confuse a lot of members as well. They committed to keep the law to gain statehood then repeatedly broke it but lied about not breaking it. For about 16 year after the Manifesto.

The final war discussed in the Book of Mormon was a real war in the United States (he wasn't sure if it included parts of Canada).

The fullness of the gospel is found in the Book of Mormon (not sure where garments, temple ceremonies, modern day teachings come from).

The Prophet receives direct revelation from Jesus Christ on a regular basis... and shares this with us every general conference.

The scriptures are the word of God and modern day scriptures were written and saved to come forth in our day (I guess he didn't hear about the Book of Abraham catalyst theory).

Member of the church are the elect of God, and the church is to gather the very elect together to welcome the return of Jesus here in Zion.

If you pray about these truths (his talk), you will know by the gift of the HG that they are true.

What did you expect.

[_karl61]

Nehor's Rules of Sacrament Talking (A plea from the Congregation)

1. If you only mention Jesus Christ once in the talk in the closing then your talk is probably less useful than you think.

2. If you don't mention God at all why are you standing up there?

3. Don't teach at the edge of your knowledge. If you learned something you think is cool for the first time in a book you read last night study it a little more and then mention in your next talk. Most of the stupidest things said in Sacrament Meeting are said with wide eyed-smiles as you think you're enlightening people of something you and you alone know. A third of the congregation doesn't get it, another third shut off when you started, and the last third think you're embarrassing yourself.

4. All Gospel principles tie into the Atonement. Tie your topic in.

5. Your peripherally connected story that you feebly tied to the talk because you love it is irrelevant, leave it out.

6. Don't wait for people to turn to something in their scriptures. Just read it.

7. You're human, admit it. If every story you tell has you as the hero we will get suspicious. A ward is a small place, we know a lot about you.

8. Tears do not necessarily equal the Spirit.

9. Please don't read long poems.

10. Humor is good, stand-up comedy acts not so good.

11. Smile, this is a Gospel of Joy.

12. Don't intentionally imitate a general authority in tone of voice particularly if you're in your 20's. You sound like a doof.

does that apply to talks at General Conference too?

[_The Nehor]

Nehor's Rules of Sacrament Talking (A plea from the Congregation)

1. If you only mention Jesus Christ once in the talk in the closing then your talk is probably less useful than you think.

2. If you don't mention God at all why are you standing up there?

3. Don't teach at the edge of your knowledge. If you learned something you think is cool for the first time in a book you read last night study it a little more and then mention in your next talk. Most of the stupidest things said in Sacrament Meeting are said with wide eyed-smiles as you think you're enlightening people of something you and you alone know. A third of the congregation doesn't get it, another third shut off when you started, and the last third think you're embarrassing yourself.

4. All Gospel principles tie into the Atonement. Tie your topic in.

5. Your peripherally connected story that you feebly tied to the talk because you love it is irrelevant, leave it out.

6. Don't wait for people to turn to something in their scriptures. Just read it.

7. You're human, admit it. If every story you tell has you as the hero we will get suspicious. A ward is a small place, we know a lot about you.

8. Tears do not necessarily equal the Spirit.

9. Please don't read long poems.

10. Humor is good, stand-up comedy acts not so good.

11. Smile, this is a Gospel of Joy.

12. Don't intentionally imitate a general authority in tone of voice particularly if you're in your 20's. You sound like a doof.

does that apply to talks at General Conference too?

These are my rules for me giving a talk and what I like to see. My rules apply to no one really.