REcovery from MDB

[_wenglund]

Laissez-faire moderated boards work when all the participants are willing to self-moderate towards the highest common denominator. Otherwise, things tend to devolve towards the lowest common denominator and eventually cause people disinclined to low denominations to take flight.

The latter is what I have found happening here lately.

It has been hard enough for me to stomach the too frequent negative stereotyping and disparaging comments about my faith, leaders, and fellow saints. But, I have been willing to do so because I have found the value that has come from participating here, has out-weighed, to some degree, the negative--that is until recently.

With the growing tendency towards gratuitous insults, the prejudices becoming more brazen, and the more liberal sprinkling of crass and vulgar language (fomented I believe by the use of astrixs), and with Keene (who is supposed to be a moderator) dropping the f-bomb within the sacred name of my Savior, and Mercury and Infymus using terms that are terribly disrespectful or insensative to women, I view the toxic levels here as now well exceeding whatever value this board may offer me. I have found the prevailing atmosphere here to have become quite repelling, and so I will once again temporarily ban myself, go into recovery for a while (just kidding), until the toxic levels here subside (if that ever happens).

I trust that this will be welcomed by some (KA, Mercury, PP, Infamous, Keene, and others), though I will miss the uplifting association with others (too numerous to mention).

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_gramps]

Laissez-faire moderated boards work when all the participants are willing to self-moderate towards the highest common denominator. Otherwise, things tend to devolve towards the lowest common denominator and eventually cause people disinclined to low denominations to take flight.

The latter is what I have found happening here lately.

It has been hard enough for me to stomach the too frequent negative stereotyping and disparaging comments about my faith, leaders, and fellow saints. But, I have been willing to do so because I have found the value that has come from participating here, has out-weighed, to some degree, the negative--that is until recently.

With the growing tendency towards gratuitous insults, the prejudices becoming more brazen, and the more liberal sprinkling of crass and vulgar language (fomented I believe by the use of astrixs), and with Keene (who is supposed to be a moderator) dropping the f-bomb within the sacred name of my Savior, and Mercury and Infymus using terms that are terribly disrespectful or insensative to women, I view the toxic levels here as now well exceeding whatever value this board may offer me. I have found the prevailing atmosphere here to have become quite repelling, and so I will once again temporarily ban myself, go into recovery for a while (just kidding), until the toxic levels here subside (if that ever happens).

I trust that this will be welcomed by some (KA, Mercury, PP, Infamous, Keene, and others), though I will miss the uplifting association with others (too numerous to mention).

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Well, I would miss you.

With such standards, Wade, how do you read, or watch T.V. or......

You aren't going to check out of life completely, I hope?

[_beastie]

I have the perfect solution for you.

You state that your aim is not to emphasize the "psychological problems" of exmormons in order to discredit them and their criticisms, but rather, to help people in need of psychological healing find more productive ways of living. Yet, you cannot tolerate the vulgarity, blasphemy, and negative statements about your faith any longer.

The solution is to work on your own side of the fence. Many believing Mormons display the same "psychological problems" that you have preferred to highlight in the exmormon population, as well. They will not only not offend you by being vulgar (well, most of the time), blasphemous, or negative about your faith, but they will be more OPEN to you because they will not be suspicious of your motives. You're on the same "side".

Hence, your time can be spent much more productively in helping your own people deal with their psychological problems, which often result in the exact same behavior you note on the exmormon side.

You once stated that you did intend to do this, but I haven't seen evidence of it on MAD. Now is the time!

[_barrelomonkeys]

Wade, I will miss you! I so enjoy reading many of your comments.

Often I find myself mulling over many of your thoughts and suggestions (even though you would think they'd not be relevant to my life) and will greatly miss you and your contributions.

[_silentkid]

While you never attacked a fellow poster with "vulgar" language, you often criticized them in your own way. Some use vulgarity to get their point across; some use veiled insults and sarcasm. Your attempts at psychoanalyzing a poster's intent for asking a question rather than addressing the question itself became tiresome to me...that's why I chose not to interact with you. I did, however, find some value in your posts when you addressed the topic at hand. You have a unique perspective of Mormonism that will be missed on this board should you choose not to return.

[Guest]

While you never attacked a fellow poster with "vulgar" language, you often criticized them in your own way. Some use vulgarity to get their point across; some use veiled insults and sarcasm. Your attempts at psychoanalyzing a poster's intent for asking a question rather than addressing the question itself became tiresome to me...that's why I chose not to interact with you. I did, however, find some value in your posts when you addressed the topic at hand. You have a unique perspective of Mormonism that will be missed on this board should you choose not to return.

I think that's what he's saying here.

If I may speak for Wade, he's not saying don't criticize the church, but lets have some civility here.

I do disagree that we are lowering ourselves to the lowest common denominator. I think each of us has our own posting style, and I would hope that I'm not being brought down to PP or Merc's level of posting.

Personally, if I were the mods, I would make a rule to stop the ad hom attacks on posters. Wade has certainly taken his share, and it's just mean spirited and adds nothing to the purpose of this board, and, in fact, brings it down.

Wade, I will certainly miss you here. There are few enough apologists as it is!

[_silentkid]

Wade has certainly taken his share, and it's just mean spirited and adds nothing to the purpose of this board, and, in fact, brings it down.

My point was that Wade has dished it out as well, just in his own way (sarcasm and veiled insults). Just because he doesn't use "vulgar" language, it doesn't mean he's not using ad hominem. I've been in conversations with Wade where he has insulted my level of intelligence. I'd rather have him call me a dirty word than say I'm an idiot. It all comes down to perspective. If you're going to personally attack another poster, prepare to be countered. Otherwise, stick to the topics and behave rationally. It's pretty simple.

[_Jersey Girl]

Wade

and Mercury and Infymus using terms that are terribly disrespectful or insensative to women,

I'd like to take this opportunity to say the unpopular thing. The sisters of this ward aren't doing such a hot job of appropriate either and I don't exclude myself from that observation.

[_Scottie]

Wade has certainly taken his share, and it's just mean spirited and adds nothing to the purpose of this board, and, in fact, brings it down.

My point was that Wade has dished it out as well, just in his own way (sarcasm and veiled insults). Just because he doesn't use "vulgar" language, it doesn't mean he's not using ad hominem. I've been in conversations with Wade where he has insulted my level of intelligence. I'd rather have him call me a dirty word than say I'm an idiot. It all comes down to perspective. If you're going to personally attack another poster, prepare to be countered. Otherwise, stick to the topics and behave rationally. It's pretty simple.

That is a good point. Just because you civilly insult someone doesn't mean you didn't insult them.

Although I've never had this happen first hand to me, Wade seems to have a reputation around here for doing that.

[_Who Knows]

My point was that Wade has dished it out as well, just in his own way (sarcasm and veiled insults). Just because he doesn't use "vulgar" language, it doesn't mean he's not using ad hominem. I've been in conversations with Wade where he has insulted my level of intelligence. I'd rather have him call me a dirty word than say I'm an idiot. It all comes down to perspective. If you're going to personally attack another poster, prepare to be countered. Otherwise, stick to the topics and behave rationally. It's pretty simple.

I completely agree.

It's like the obese Mormon getting on someone for having a cup of coffee and breaking the word of wisdom.

Do these people not get the hypocrisy?