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Well, since my crazy TBM girlfriend issues are out of the bag now, I have one more.

I think back to my adolescence and the issues with masturbation with my struggles to "master myself" that I still carry to this day. I've told my crazy line of thinking before, but I'll reiterate.

I was always taught that if you have sex in your mind, it is just as bad as doing the real thing, and that adultery is a sin next to murder. Back then I didn't know the distinction between adultery and fornication. So, in my messed up little mind, I thought that God viewed me as one step below a murderer. I felt worthless. It was horrible.

Thinking back, teenage boys have very, VERY little control over this. The forces of nature at work are extremely powerful. I remember that I would quit for a couple of weeks at a time, and would go pee and give it 3 or 4 little tugs while peeing...which was enough to throw me over the line. Then the guilt started all over again. I never blessed or passed the sacrament, which in turn made me too ashamed to go to church. I felt immense guilt my whole teenage life. Well, that is until my defense mechanisms turned my guilt off. Then I didn't feel guilt for anything.

Anyways, the point is this...

There is nothing you can do to keep them from doing it. They WILL masturbate. The key is to make them feel ok about it.

My opinion is that you should tell them that it is perfectly natural and that God is fine with it. After all, why would God make a commandment that was nearly impossible to obey?
The girlfriend believes that you should teach that it is a sin and you shouldn't ever do it. That God has promised that He will make no commandment save He provides a way to accomplish it.

I'm just curious what those of you who have been through this have taught?

Well, I don't have a son, but if I did, I know I would tell him. It would be something along the lines of, "Son, it's a natural part of being male. Guys masturbate. There is no way you will be able to have sex as often as the urge to have sex occurs, so the absolute best way to take care of that urge when no sexual partner is available (or when you're too young to really have a sexual partner) is to masturbate. It's just not that big a deal, and anyone that tells you it is has issues you don't need to worry about."

I certainly wouldn't mention any god or religion, though. Those subjects are completely irrelevant. Sure, they're subjects of fantasy, but not the kind of fantasy that will aid with masturbation.

What did/will you tell your sons?

Make sure you clean up, and wash your hands afterwards.

p.s. scottie - why did you limit this to just sons, whynot daughters?

One time I was on an LDS board and someone posted about satan putting dirty thoughts in your mind through dreams at night.; my response: ARE YOU NUTS! those are the only freebies you get in life; not a sin and no repentance needed. They are Great! I still remember the dream when J RBRTS was dancing over me in a skirt with no panties. and no it wasn't the chief justice, it was an actress.

Who Knows wrote:why did you limit this to just sons, whynot daughters?

Two reasons...

1. Daughters are the mother's realm. Just as I don't want her in there telling my son's "Oh, how hard can it be?? Just don't do it.", I don't want to be in there telling my daughters anything about female sexuality. Mothers just don't know what it's like to be a teenage boy and fathers don't know what it's like to be a teenage girl.

2. I honestly don't think girls have the same problems with masturbating that boys do. From what I've been able to gather, girls may try it and have fun with it, but there is no need to release like a boy has. I know PLENTY of women that claim to have never tried it at all. I don't know one single man that claims to never have done it. Women of the board, feel free to correct me as needed here...

thestyleguy wrote:One time I was on an LDS board and someone posted about satan putting dirty thoughts in your mind through dreams at night.; my response: ARE YOU NUTS! those are the only freebies you get in life; not a sin and no repentance needed. They are Great! I still remember the dream when J RBRTS was dancing over me in a skirt with no panties. and no it wasn't the chief justice, it was an actress.

A PRETTY WOMAN actress?

Not sure why we're talking in code here???

the saddest thing is most boys learn about sex from listening to other boys, who learn by listening to other boys, who learn it by reading playboy.

Scottie wrote:

Who Knows wrote:

What did/will you tell your sons?

Make sure you clean up, and wash your hands afterwards.

p.s. scottie - why did you limit this to just sons, whynot daughters?

Two reasons...

1. Daughters are the mother's realm. Just as I don't want her in there telling my son's "Oh, how hard can it be?? Just don't do it.", I don't want to be in there telling my daughters anything about female sexuality. Mothers just don't know what it's like to be a teenage boy and fathers don't know what it's like to be a teenage girl.

2. I honestly don't think girls have the same problems with masturbating that boys do. From what I've been able to gather, girls may try it and have fun with it, but there is no need to release like a boy has. I know PLENTY of women that claim to have never tried it at all. I don't know one single man that claims to never have done it. Women of the board, feel free to correct me as needed here...

I think women are lying if they say they've never masturbated!

I am a woman with four daughters and I know females masturbate. Some women actually DO have strong sex drives and need a release.

My daughters know what masturbation is and know it's perfectly appropriate as long as it's done in private. I've actually had to tell one of them to take it to her room...

KA

PS - Your girlfriend thinks masturbation is a sin and no one should ever do it? Good grief, she's as Molly as they come! Will you please bring her to the exmo lunch so I can meet her? It would be so fun to freak her out... <evil grin>

Scottie wrote:
2. I honestly don't think girls have the same problems with masturbating that boys do. From what I've been able to gather, girls may try it and have fun with it, but there is no need to release like a boy has. I know PLENTY of women that claim to have never tried it at all. I don't know one single man that claims to never have done it. Women of the board, feel free to correct me as needed here...

HAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feel free to feel corrected. :D

I didn't even have a religion telling me I shouldn't and I still felt like "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?" Sex drive and release is just as much a part of woman's sexuality as for men, I would imagine. With out being tooooo specific....

Horny? Yep!

Masturbate cure horniness? Yep! For a little while.

I'm just going to go ahead and state my "good grief" for the record now.

TMI? Ack!

Scottie wrote:I've told my crazy line of thinking before, but I'll reiterate.

I was always taught that if you have sex in your mind, it is just as bad as doing the real thing, and that adultery is a sin next to murder. Back then I didn't know the distinction between adultery and fornication. So, in my messed up little mind, I thought that God viewed me as one step below a murderer. I felt worthless. It was horrible.

You do realize that adultery, fornication, and masturbation are totally different things, right? Each of them less serious than the last. I remember the torture I had over the whole thing for years before I just didn't care anymore. I would have trouble after doing it in half-sleep. I asked someone in the church if it was bad when sleeping, and they said that you aren't held responsible if you do it while not fully awake. But then I read this pamphlet about tying your hands to the bedpost and wearing tight belts so as not to let it happen at night: http://www.rotten.com/library/sex/masturbation/Mormon/

Anyway, who cares. I can't believe I used to throw away all my clothes and sheets and take showers for as long as four hours....talk about OCD!! Besides, if you don't let your little factory liquidate its overstock, you have an elevated risk of developing testicular and prostate problems.