God Made Flesh, Then Plastic.

[_karl61]

After reading the article below I was thinking that they are really missing the LDS market: the moroni doll, the angel with the flaming sword doll, of course Joseph at different stages of life, Emma, Martin Harris, Danites, you could get a hundred different danites, Nauvoo Legion Dolls, plastic gold plates, a hat and a rock, plura wives, the anti's - it could go on for ever and it would be great for family home evening.


FROM AN ARTICLE AT WSJ.COM
God Made Flesh, Then Plastic
By DAVE SHIFLETT
September 28, 2007; Page W11

Anyone seeking a mischievous stocking stuffer for Christopher Hitchens or less exalted scoffers need look no further. A growing phalanx of religious action figures -- including Adam, Eve, Daniel, Job, Esther, Goliath, Samson and Jesus -- offer a tweaking reminder that despite Heathendom's best efforts, the faith-based marketplace is forever expanding.

Plastic saints, to be sure, aren't exactly new. Mary, mother of Jesus, has long ridden shotgun in Catholic vehicles. Yet some of the faithful, including a few with a gift for retail, concluded that she needed reinforcements. David Socha, chief executive of One2believe, which offers a line of religious action figures, told the Associated Press that there is a "battle for the toy box" under way, in which good and evil vie for the young. "If you're very religious, it's a battle for your children's minds and what they're playing with and pretending," he said. "There are remakes out there of Satan and evil things."



Old Scratch and associates may now have their hands full. Jesus, for example, comes in several incarnations, including a football player, skier, rollerblader and the best-selling "Baseball Jesus Sports Statue," offered by Catholic Supply for $20. "A contemporary statue for today's youth," the sales pitch says of the figure, promising a hands-on reminder that "Jesus is with us in everything we do, watching over us & involved in all of our acts & activities." The company's Web site also anoints its statue with a bit of marketplace myrrh: "As seen on the Conan O'Brien show!"

The deployment of Jesus and other biblical bigs to the toy-box war includes some contemporary updates. One supplier, in a bow toward divinity and diversity, offers figures in both dark- and light-skinned models (Adam and Eve, it should be noted, are portrayed in post-fall attire reminiscent of bathing suits). Meantime, at the Family Values Center, there's Moses ($12.99), who comes with "shield and sword, along with fully illustrated comic book." Interestingly, two female dolls -- Deborah the Warrior and Queen Esther -- cost $24.99. Must be their wardrobes.

Whether these toys have divine sanction is another matter. At a Web site called Itsyourtimes.com, a minister posted a sour appraisal, noting that the most popular action figure is Samson, "a gambler, womanizer, thief, murderer, arsonist and he was extremely cruel to animals." The clergyman's sarcastic conclusion won't be mistaken for a benediction: "I am so pleased that we finally have some 'Christian' role models to inspire our children, instead of those heathen Super Heroes like Spider Man." Other concerned parties warn that the figures are nothing less than the graven images warned of in the Ten Commandments, indicating that a devilish plot of an especially sly and sinister nature may be afoot.

Those controversies aside, Mr. Socha's company has achieved one of this world's most desirable sanctions: Wal-Mart is "test selling" his products at 425 of its 3,376 discount stores and Supercenters, possibly resulting in some serious manna.

To no one's surprise, other faiths are getting in on the action. A company named Kridana, which says it consulted "with Indian parents across the globe," will begin shipping figures representing Shri Hanuman and Lord Rama this November. "Just in time for the [Hindu] holidays, our first series will help make this year's celebrations even more memorable for you and your child," the company promises. "By sharing these toys with the children in your life, you ensure that they will have fun acting out the great epic stories."

Purists may, with reason, fear the possibility of severe ecumenical repercussions. Fully funded toy boxes might easily include figures from different faith traditions and eras, creating an environment rife with historical and ecclesiastical error, and maybe worse. One easily imagines a play session in which Jesus is sent rollerblading past Moses or Lord Rama, perhaps screaming "Out of the way, you geezer!" In the same spirit, there may be awkward efforts to evangelize Barbie and Ken, whose spiritual affiliation has always been kept secret (some suspect a very mild Presbyterianism, augmented by Prozac).

All of which may inspire our secular scoffers to chortle, though there is humility in remembering that no child will ever play with action figures of grumpy men clattering away at keyboards.

Mr. Shiflett is a writer living in Virginia.

[_SatanWasSetUp]

Some entrepreneurial Mormon slready thought of this. There are Book of Mormon action figures for sale here:

http://www.lehi.com/vin1.html

[_Dr. Shades]

Actually, those aren't action figures at all, since they're molded in fixed positions and thus cannot undertake any "action" at all.

They're just miniature plastic statues.

[_Mister Scratch]

Gee, do they have one of Nephi cutting off Laban's head? Or perhaps "Genocide Jesus," where he is wiping out all manner of women and children for their "wickedness" in the Book of Mormon?

[_karl61]

I wonder how many times in Utah a parent has heard children in the yard. "you get to be Laban and I get to be Nephi" and then one kid chases the other one around the yard with his star wars saber. Of couse they can make plastic swords, breastplate and a guess at what the urim and thummin looks like. Of course it could be cruel too: the white kids could be the fair skinned nephites and the mexican kids could be evil lamanites.

[_Gadianton]

Ha ha. Or how about FARMS versions? Like, you buy one called, "Nephite warrior bravely takes horse into battle", and then you open it up and it's a warrior figure with a deer in tow, head hung sadly as if he knows he's to be eaten mid journey.

Some of the more sheltered and honest Mormons might be taking their "Moroni burries the plates" back to the store, wishing to return the extra mountain, thinking it was a packaging oversight.

The battle scene scenarios are really confusing since you can't tell the difference between the lamanites and nephites.

[_Who Knows]

I'd like one of ammon and his bag 'o arms. Perhaps some of the evil dudes can come with detachable arms - one swipe of ammon's sword slices the arm off.

[_karl61]

how about the poor Mormon family who buys ten swords and breast plates and when they open the box they can't be found.

[_The Dude]

I'd like one of ammon and his bag 'o arms. Perhaps some of the evil dudes can come with detachable arms - one swipe of ammon's sword slices the arm off.

Or a Shiz doll that does headless pushups after being decapitated by a club with sharp obsidian "blades" (easily confused with a steel sword if you are too cheap to by eyeglasses for your kids).

[_Who Knows]

It's nice of them to include the stone box. You can see, from the crappy design, how easily it could have disintegrated as it was washed away down the hill.