Those Who Served Missions...
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_Polygamy Porter
- _Emeritus
- Posts: 2204
- Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 6:04 am
Bucket = A lazy missionary that didn't want to do any work. This term was invented before I arrived on the scene. Rumor had it that a past missionary president got mad in a zone conference about how a lazy missionary makes it harder for his companion and compared it to having to haul around a bucket of water everywhere he went.
GLM = Good Looking Mom. "We are having dinner over at Sister Johnsons. She is a GLM!)
GLM = Good Looking Mom. "We are having dinner over at Sister Johnsons. She is a GLM!)
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_Inconceivable
- _Emeritus
- Posts: 3405
- Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 5:44 am
Strange meanings..
Most of the missionary jargon seemed to originate in Utah even though I was on the other side of the world.
Having been well seasoned in foul language premission life, I thought words like fetch and flippin, crap, crud, gosh, jeez, darn didn't sound any different than the hard stuff so I didn't use them. I pretty much didn't swear either way the hole time. Just me. Talk about pent up anxieties and frustrations..
We (and "they") had some unique words indiginous to the area too:
They:
Flat: Apartment
We:
Beamer: Nutty person (as in, "beam me up Scotty" from the original Star Trek)
Beamer flats: Old people tenement buildings
Stat, Stats: The holy grail used to measure achievement, the weekly report to the mission president.
No Speaks: Anyone that didn't speak English
Flogged, Flogging: Teaching and/or baptising a no speak just to pad the stats and appear worthy/righteous to peers and leadership.
80 hour week: Standard amount of time required out of the flat made up of 40 hours tracting, 10 hours teaching, meetings and the rest travel.
100 hour week: The amount of time outside the flat required previous to a GA's visit to prove that we would do anything to demonstrate our desire to give everything (nope, no strapping bombs to our backs, but nobody asked us. So, who knows?). Though occasional, it was a textbook case of overwhelm.
Jacked: Overwhelmingly excited
They:
Flat out: Extremely busy, focussed and consumed by the activity.
We:
Go for my/your life: Flat out dedication and commitment
Slacker: Coined later by Mr. Stricklin in Back to the Future; lazy, rebellious, disobedient, trunky, unsuccessful at baptising missionary.
Dry area: Area where there were no baptisms. Pretty much ever.
Out to pasture: State of a missionary sent to a dry area primarily because he was a slacker.
They:
Bible bashers: Missionaries representing any religeons
Having been well seasoned in foul language premission life, I thought words like fetch and flippin, crap, crud, gosh, jeez, darn didn't sound any different than the hard stuff so I didn't use them. I pretty much didn't swear either way the hole time. Just me. Talk about pent up anxieties and frustrations..
We (and "they") had some unique words indiginous to the area too:
They:
Flat: Apartment
We:
Beamer: Nutty person (as in, "beam me up Scotty" from the original Star Trek)
Beamer flats: Old people tenement buildings
Stat, Stats: The holy grail used to measure achievement, the weekly report to the mission president.
No Speaks: Anyone that didn't speak English
Flogged, Flogging: Teaching and/or baptising a no speak just to pad the stats and appear worthy/righteous to peers and leadership.
80 hour week: Standard amount of time required out of the flat made up of 40 hours tracting, 10 hours teaching, meetings and the rest travel.
100 hour week: The amount of time outside the flat required previous to a GA's visit to prove that we would do anything to demonstrate our desire to give everything (nope, no strapping bombs to our backs, but nobody asked us. So, who knows?). Though occasional, it was a textbook case of overwhelm.
Jacked: Overwhelmingly excited
They:
Flat out: Extremely busy, focussed and consumed by the activity.
We:
Go for my/your life: Flat out dedication and commitment
Slacker: Coined later by Mr. Stricklin in Back to the Future; lazy, rebellious, disobedient, trunky, unsuccessful at baptising missionary.
Dry area: Area where there were no baptisms. Pretty much ever.
Out to pasture: State of a missionary sent to a dry area primarily because he was a slacker.
They:
Bible bashers: Missionaries representing any religeons
Last edited by Guest on Fri Oct 05, 2007 7:39 am, edited 2 times in total.
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_Inconceivable
- _Emeritus
- Posts: 3405
- Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 5:44 am
Not always pleasant..
I discovered having a dictionary that defined the more indiginous slang was helpful to understanding the common folk. And there were many common folk (and an incredible amount of slang).
This old bloke that seemed irritated by our appearance on his doorstep called me a "dag" as he shut the door. Huh? Oh well, guess I'll look up another word when I get back to the flat.
Dag: piece of dung attached to a dog's butt hairs.
hey!
: (
This old bloke that seemed irritated by our appearance on his doorstep called me a "dag" as he shut the door. Huh? Oh well, guess I'll look up another word when I get back to the flat.
Dag: piece of dung attached to a dog's butt hairs.
hey!
: (
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_Always Thinking
- _Emeritus
- Posts: 222
- Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2007 6:40 pm
Flushed = transfer out all of the missionaries from a companionship/district/zone and replace them with different ones.
It was usually a result of some major problem. Right before I arrived in the mission a whole district had to be flushed because a sister made out with an elder and the whole district found out. The sister swore them all to secrecy, which of course didn't work, and somebody tattled. So, the district was flushed.
It was usually a result of some major problem. Right before I arrived in the mission a whole district had to be flushed because a sister made out with an elder and the whole district found out. The sister swore them all to secrecy, which of course didn't work, and somebody tattled. So, the district was flushed.
AIEEEEE!!!
This thread is seriously skeeving me out. And its not just the daggy hud being spewed every which way, its the insight into the missionary experience.
The biggest "revelation" that interent discussion on Mormonism has held for me is about what it is like to go on a mission. I never knew any RMs, never had any actual friends who went on missions. By the time I was out of highschool I despised Mormonism enough that I held anyone who went on a mission in disdain. Oh sure, I knew there was a lot of family/social pressure involved, that all kind of guilt and manipulation was brought to bear on the guy (and it was rarely a girl back in my day). But I figured if they had any balls, mind or combination thereof, they wouldn't fall for it.
Later, when I lived outside of Utah and would see any of the patetic twosomes, I would feel enough sympathy to invite them in for water or lemonade and a chance to sit and rest (but not to preach). I suppose I had some idea that these were just average kids who were doing something they'd been pushed into and were holding up the best they could. I still had no idea what they were going through...
Until I started reading the mission memoirs people would post on RfM. I knew there were canned lessons, but I had no idea how narrow and manipulative they were, no idea that they followed salesmanship techniques and were aimed not at just teaching about the "gospel" but forcing a commitment to baptism---BY THE THIRD LESSON (do I have that right? I still can't believe it).
I had no idea about how s****y (no other word for it) the conditions missionaries lived in were, both outside the US and within it. Or about the complete lack of contact with the "outside world" including parents often not told about their sons heath problems or able to share important family information.
I had no idea about the mind-wrenching, gut-turning, mental contortions missionaries lived through daily. I could have guessed, but I didn't.
And the Kafkaesque (for once that adjective is completely apt) bureaucracy administering the program is the stuff of nightmares.
And then the cutesy, uber-commercialized lds culture of missionaries that the whole thing is smothered in----argh, thinking about it gives me a brain tumor.
I haven't even touched on the torture-method depersonalization techniques missionaries are subjected to---I can't bear to think about this any more this early in the morning. That any of you survived without being screwed up for life is astonishing.
This thread is seriously skeeving me out. And its not just the daggy hud being spewed every which way, its the insight into the missionary experience.
The biggest "revelation" that interent discussion on Mormonism has held for me is about what it is like to go on a mission. I never knew any RMs, never had any actual friends who went on missions. By the time I was out of highschool I despised Mormonism enough that I held anyone who went on a mission in disdain. Oh sure, I knew there was a lot of family/social pressure involved, that all kind of guilt and manipulation was brought to bear on the guy (and it was rarely a girl back in my day). But I figured if they had any balls, mind or combination thereof, they wouldn't fall for it.
Later, when I lived outside of Utah and would see any of the patetic twosomes, I would feel enough sympathy to invite them in for water or lemonade and a chance to sit and rest (but not to preach). I suppose I had some idea that these were just average kids who were doing something they'd been pushed into and were holding up the best they could. I still had no idea what they were going through...
Until I started reading the mission memoirs people would post on RfM. I knew there were canned lessons, but I had no idea how narrow and manipulative they were, no idea that they followed salesmanship techniques and were aimed not at just teaching about the "gospel" but forcing a commitment to baptism---BY THE THIRD LESSON (do I have that right? I still can't believe it).
I had no idea about how s****y (no other word for it) the conditions missionaries lived in were, both outside the US and within it. Or about the complete lack of contact with the "outside world" including parents often not told about their sons heath problems or able to share important family information.
I had no idea about the mind-wrenching, gut-turning, mental contortions missionaries lived through daily. I could have guessed, but I didn't.
And the Kafkaesque (for once that adjective is completely apt) bureaucracy administering the program is the stuff of nightmares.
And then the cutesy, uber-commercialized lds culture of missionaries that the whole thing is smothered in----argh, thinking about it gives me a brain tumor.
I haven't even touched on the torture-method depersonalization techniques missionaries are subjected to---I can't bear to think about this any more this early in the morning. That any of you survived without being screwed up for life is astonishing.
From the Ernest L. Wilkinson Diaries: "ELW dreams he's spattered w/ grease. Hundreds steal his greasy pants."
Blixa wrote:BY THE THIRD LESSON (do I have that right? I still can't believe it).
...second lesson... At least in my time (12 years ago now).
Ahhh, well I think the 2nd discussion encourages to ask for a commitment to baptism 'if it's felt appropriate'. (If I remember right, that meant "most of the time" in practise - coming back after a first discussion is usually reason enough to be optimistic!!).
Yeah - usually - by the third one, you must have a commitment. Otherwise, it's a 'not much point in wasting more time' kinda thing.
Plus, who's gonna be MORE eager to get baptised after they learn about tithing?! (I think that's lesson 4... ;) )
I haven't even touched on the torture-method depersonalization techniques missionaries are subjected to
Not being able to listen to the music I wanted to was the toughest for me. Everything else I could kinda deal with. But the music thing drove me up the wall...
Got 'lazy' my last couple of months though... ;)
I did end up using 'fetch,' I have to admit.
Oh fu... ermm - 'fetch'. I did too...
The term I'll never forget because I hated it SOOO much...
GQ. General questioning. (At least I'm pretty sure that's what it stood for).
I'm naturally introverted, and yet I'm supposed to go up to random strangers on the street, and start bugging them about religion. (Seemed a lot harder than knocking on people's doors - at least to me...)
The fact that I didn't really believe any of it - most of the time I was out - didn't help matters either I suppose...!
Arrgghhh!
You'd hear of the 'heroic' stories of super-duper missionaries getting 70+ GQ's a day.
I think I got nearly that number a week on average...!
We'd buy little click-counters and keep them in our pockets, so we could count how many people we bugged - ermm, I mean - questioned...
Last edited by Guest on Fri Oct 05, 2007 2:17 pm, edited 10 times in total.