God's top 10 priorities
Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 8:40 pm
I was asked on MAD what I thought God's top 10 priorites are, since bringing souls to His one true church isn't in the top 10.
I posted this, but given the nature of the board, deleted it lest I get banned.
10. Possessing donkeys and making them talk.
9. Making sure he destroys those tacky false idols.
8. Clucking His tongue at the insufficient faith of the priesthood blessings for 50% of cancer patients.
7. Whipping up hurricanes and tsunami's to punish the wicked.
6. Making sure that His mouthpiece knows EXACTLY where He stands on how many earrings women can wear.
5. Waiting with lighting bolts to kill any who dares to steady His ark.
4. Ignoring the cries of anguish and pain from the billions of His children that are starving.
3. Trying to contain all those blessing that the heavens can't seem to hold to the faithful LDS tithe payers.
2. Giving confirmations to anyone and everyone that asks if their religion is true, because, well, at least parts of it are true.
1. Making sure his name is glorified by inciting fear and dread into the hearts of men.
I posted this, but given the nature of the board, deleted it lest I get banned.
10. Possessing donkeys and making them talk.
9. Making sure he destroys those tacky false idols.
8. Clucking His tongue at the insufficient faith of the priesthood blessings for 50% of cancer patients.
7. Whipping up hurricanes and tsunami's to punish the wicked.
6. Making sure that His mouthpiece knows EXACTLY where He stands on how many earrings women can wear.
5. Waiting with lighting bolts to kill any who dares to steady His ark.
4. Ignoring the cries of anguish and pain from the billions of His children that are starving.
3. Trying to contain all those blessing that the heavens can't seem to hold to the faithful LDS tithe payers.
2. Giving confirmations to anyone and everyone that asks if their religion is true, because, well, at least parts of it are true.
1. Making sure his name is glorified by inciting fear and dread into the hearts of men.