Top Ten Items in the First Presidency Vault
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 5:55 pm
10. Boyd K. Packer's sense of humor
9. Joseph Smith's revisions to the Song of Solomon. Apparently, the Brethren don't take too kindly to such graphic stuff.
8. The missing scroll from which the Book of Abraham was translated. Egyptologists have translated a portion, which reads, "Joseph [heart] Fanny."
7. The original, illustrated version of the 1982 First Presidency letter forbidding oral sex.
6. A rejected prop from Vaughn Featherstone's 1978 General Priesthood talk on masturbation and pornography. Apparently, this is an actual scroll bearing the names of all known masturbators and pornography viewers in the church at that time. It would have been rolled down from the ceiling of the tabernacle, but the logistics were too hard to work out.
5. The first draft of the Word of Wisdom, which prohibited Yoo-Hoo and green jello.
4. A revelation given to Emma Smith wherein the Lord instructs Joseph to keep his pants buttoned, or else.
3. The secret recipe for Y Sparkle.
2. Ezra Taft Benson's proposed final conference address, wherein he associated the International Communist Conspiracy with Living Scriptures, Inc., the Florida Orange Juice Growers' Association, and the New England Confectionary Company (makers of Necco).
1. A letter in Joseph Smith's handwriting dated June 26, 1844, reading, "OK, I admit it. I made it all up. Can I go home now?"
9. Joseph Smith's revisions to the Song of Solomon. Apparently, the Brethren don't take too kindly to such graphic stuff.
8. The missing scroll from which the Book of Abraham was translated. Egyptologists have translated a portion, which reads, "Joseph [heart] Fanny."
7. The original, illustrated version of the 1982 First Presidency letter forbidding oral sex.
6. A rejected prop from Vaughn Featherstone's 1978 General Priesthood talk on masturbation and pornography. Apparently, this is an actual scroll bearing the names of all known masturbators and pornography viewers in the church at that time. It would have been rolled down from the ceiling of the tabernacle, but the logistics were too hard to work out.
5. The first draft of the Word of Wisdom, which prohibited Yoo-Hoo and green jello.
4. A revelation given to Emma Smith wherein the Lord instructs Joseph to keep his pants buttoned, or else.
3. The secret recipe for Y Sparkle.
2. Ezra Taft Benson's proposed final conference address, wherein he associated the International Communist Conspiracy with Living Scriptures, Inc., the Florida Orange Juice Growers' Association, and the New England Confectionary Company (makers of Necco).
1. A letter in Joseph Smith's handwriting dated June 26, 1844, reading, "OK, I admit it. I made it all up. Can I go home now?"