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What's REALLY In The Church's Vault?
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 11:24 pm
by _Coggins7
What's In The Church's Vault?
The Church, of course, likes to keep track of the activities of its detractors. Hence, they (through the SCMC), have collected a number of relics connected to many of their most vorciforous critics. Among these are:
1. Harmony's Temple recommend
2. Scratch's autographed copy of The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Israel, by Polygamy Porter.
3. Bryn Links chemistry set.
4. Mercury's Bob Marly Signature Series set of chrome plated, limited edition roach clips.
5. Dartagnon's orgone box.
6. Jersey Girl's LSD.
7. GIMR's H. Rap Brown collector's edition "I Hate Whitey" coffee mug.
8. Barrelofmonkey's barrel of monkeys.
9. Sethbag's original copy of Atheism for Mormon Dummies.
10. Kimberlyanne's cupcakes (but only those that were not licked, as these don't keep well, even in a cool, dry place like the church vaults.
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 11:29 pm
by _evolving
possibly -- a secret list of Book of Abraham apologetics that make sense ??
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 11:33 pm
by _Runtu
evolving wrote:possibly -- a secret list of Book of Abraham apologetics that make sense ??
I think you'd need the seer stone for that.
Re: What's REALLY In The Church's Vault?
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 11:37 pm
by _harmony
Coggins7 wrote:What's In The Church's Vault?
The Church, of course, likes to keep track of the activities of its detractors. Hence, they (through the SCMC), have collected a number of relics connected to many of their most vorciforous critics. Among these are:
1. Harmony's Temple recommend
That one's out of date. I have the new one in my purse.
Re: What's REALLY In The Church's Vault?
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 11:43 pm
by _Ray A
harmony wrote:
That one's out of date. I have the new one in my purse.
Have you been getting some tips from Nort?
Re: What's REALLY In The Church's Vault?
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 11:45 pm
by _Runtu
harmony wrote:Coggins7 wrote:What's In The Church's Vault?
The Church, of course, likes to keep track of the activities of its detractors. Hence, they (through the SCMC), have collected a number of relics connected to many of their most vorciforous critics. Among these are:
1. Harmony's Temple recommend
That one's out of date. I have the new one in my purse.
You got it? Good for you. :)
Re: What's REALLY In The Church's Vault?
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 11:45 pm
by _harmony
Runtu wrote:You got it? Good for you. :)
And I didn't even have to lie! But then, my bishop loves me. ;-)
Re: What's REALLY In The Church's Vault?
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 11:48 pm
by _Runtu
harmony wrote:Runtu wrote:You got it? Good for you. :)
And I didn't even have to lie! But then, my bishop loves me. ;-)
My bishop asked me to visit with him after church. He wanted, he said, to get the lowdown on the Runtu household. So I told him what was what.
When I got home, my wife said, "So, what did the bishop want?" I said, "Oh, he just called me to be the high priests group leader." She looked horrified and said, "Really????"
Re: What's REALLY In The Church's Vault?
Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 1:09 am
by _harmony
Runtu wrote: She looked horrified and said, "Really????"
My Sweet Pickle came home with a new calling a couple of Sundays ago. He was released as Scoutmaster a month ago and has been at loose ends, not quite knowing what to do with himself. So he was happy again, with his new calling as Sunday School President. I told him I'd help him out by teaching the Gospel Doctrine class. He tactfully declined. :-D
Re: What's REALLY In The Church's Vault?
Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 1:47 am
by _moksha
harmony wrote: I told him I'd help him out by teaching the Gospel Doctrine class. He tactfully declined. :-D
Come teach mine. It would have to be an improvement from our current class. Actually, you would add a heightened degree of excitement to the class.