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Nephi's comment in the Avatar thread, where he said his pics remind him of the good times with his wife got me thinking about marriage.

I could probably count the number of non-newlywed couples that I believe are truly happily married on my fingers.

With the way we grow as individuals, the stresses of life, children, etc, is it really even feasable to expect to remain in a happy marriage? Or are the vast majority of them doomed from the beginning?

Is it true that any 2 people living righteously can be happily married?

Is it possible to stay happily married?

Not for me.

Scottie wrote:Nephi's comment in the Avatar thread, where he said his pics remind him of the good times with his wife got me thinking about marriage.

I could probably count the number of non-newlywed couples that I believe are truly happily married on my fingers.

With the way we grow as individuals, the stresses of life, children, etc, is it really even feasable to expect to remain in a happy marriage? Or are the vast majority of them doomed from the beginning?

You know, as many issues as my wife and I have (and they're not restricted just to religious issues), I can say that we are happily married. Yes, we drive each other crazy sometimes, but we'd still rather be with each other than with anyone else. That said, it takes a hell of a lot of work every day to have a good marriage.

Is it true that any 2 people living righteously can be happily married?

Absolutely not. This is one of the dumber things Spencer Kimball said (and he said a lot of dumb things). Two people can be "righteous" and still not have anything important in common. Righteousness does not guarantee compatibility. That would seem patently obvious to anyone but Kimball, apparently.

Scottie wrote:Nephi's comment in the Avatar thread, where he said his pics remind him of the good times with his wife got me thinking about marriage.

I could probably count the number of non-newlywed couples that I believe are truly happily married on my fingers.

With the way we grow as individuals, the stresses of life, children, etc, is it really even feasable to expect to remain in a happy marriage? Or are the vast majority of them doomed from the beginning?

Is it true that any 2 people living righteously can be happily married?

What do you mean by living righteously?

When I think of that I think urgggghhhh. That sounds like hell.

I'd rather be living unrighteously with someone. :) That would make a better marriage, I think?

Not sure what you mean by that.

Just because the picture reminds me of the happy times doesn't mean I am not happily married. The "happy times" are the easier times our family has had. I have always been happily married to my wife. Being happily married is but a state of mind.

Nephi wrote: Being happily married is but a state of mind.

Haha. Yep it is.

:)

Book of Mormon wrote:What do you mean by living righteously?

When I think of that I think urgggghhhh. That sounds like hell.

I'd rather be living unrighteously with someone. :) That would make a better marriage, I think?

Not sure what you mean by that.

Living righteously, in how President Kimball meant it, was living the Mormon gospel.

In which case, your "urggghhh" comment bodes well. LOL

Let's expand on this a moment, though. What if, two people, really lived the gospel of Christ? What if, two married people who lived together, did what Christ did?

Both parties put the other person before themselves. Both parties gave 100% effort into being kind, compassionate, and considerate.

Then, I think that yes, you would have the fundamentals for a happy marriage.

I agree with Runtu here, though:

Runtu wrote:Two people can be "righteous" and still not have anything important in common. Righteousness does not guarantee compatibility.

Both parties have to WORK at it. They both have to really WANT the same thing.

And, they need to really want to be there FOR EACH OTHER. If you're in a marriage acting as a martyr, then in my estimation, it's not going to be a happy marriage.

I think that many of the women involved in polygamous marriages in the early Church viewed marriage as a "duty to God" rather than a loving relationship with an equal partner.

I think it's important to like as well as love the person you're involved with.

All of this being said, Scottie, in answer to your question, "Is it possible to stay happily married?"

I'm a hopeless romantic, and my answer is going to be "Yes."

The answer is "Yes" with a qualifier...and the qualifier is...it takes work.

Runtu wrote:This is one of the dumber things Spencer Kimball said (and he said a lot of dumb things). Two people can be "righteous" and still not have anything important in common. Righteousness does not guarantee compatibility. That would seem patently obvious to anyone but Kimball, apparently.

I don't believe Pres. Kimball was advocating throwing together any random two people and just going with it, I think he was talking about couples who share values and both honestly strive to live those values, and that their chances of success are greater, obviously.

As an interesting aside, my anthropology professor once gave us a lesson on arranged marriages, which he himself was living in at the time, happily.

LifeOnaPlate wrote:

Runtu wrote:This is one of the dumber things Spencer Kimball said (and he said a lot of dumb things). Two people can be "righteous" and still not have anything important in common. Righteousness does not guarantee compatibility. That would seem patently obvious to anyone but Kimball, apparently.

I don't believe Pres. Kimball was advocating throwing together any random two people and just going with it, I think he was talking about couples who share values and both honestly strive to live those values, and that their chances of success are greater, obviously.

As an interesting aside, my anthropology professor once gave us a lesson on arranged marriages, which he himself was living in at the time, happily.

Don't the majority of marriages in the LDS Church come from very young couples?

Seems the LDS Church actually does advocate throwing together two random people if they encourage young adults to marry and quickly start a family.