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I thought of initiating this thread in the "Off-topic Forum". Then I realized that the Holy War is anything but off-topic. It is life and death. Its significance transcends love, war, religion – even the Book of Abraham controversy!

Yea, verily, the Holy War is our primary raison d'être in this life. Without it, our lives lack meaning, purpose, and fulfillment.

So, with that brief preface, let me state why it is essential for the Utes to be vanquished this coming Saturday: truth and righteousness must prevail.

During this period of woe and darkness upon the earth, during which the evil Utes in their bloodsoaked uniforms have triumphed repeatedly over the Lord’s team on the hallowed ground of Lavell Edward’s stadium, I have mourned deeply with sackcloth girt around my loins and ashes strewn upon my head. Yea, and I have sung these words with great bitterness during the holiday seasons of defeat:

And in despair I bowed my head: there is no peace on earth, I said.
For hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth, good will to men.

Until the immaculate reception last year when the prayers of the faithful were heard on high and Jonny Harline knelt devoutly, all alone in the end zone, waiting for the angels to deliver the sacred rock of victory into his grasp.

Then the righteous raised their united voices in common adulation of the Lord who answers prayers and grants ultimate victory unto those who believe.

And last holiday season, I rejoiced and sang praises to the unfurled blue and white flag flying proudly upon Mount Zion:

Then peeled the bells more loud and deep: “God is not dead nor doth He sleep;
the wrong shall fail, the right prevail, with peace on earth, good will to men!”

And so shall it be this coming yule season, for the Cougars in their royal blue shall not be denied victory over the wicked and apostate slime balls of Salt Lake City. For I cannot afford to lose another bet to my Crimson Club friend – yea, the very robbers of Gadianton, otherwise my children must needs go without Christmas presents again this year.

So, down with evil. Down with error. Down with all those who make and loveth the lie that the Cougars are not the chosen of the Lord and that the Lord despiseth those who wear red and sing Utah Man at the top of their lungs.

Rise and shout forever!

BYU – 34
Utah - 20

I say BYU 27 - Utah 21.

That anyone can find anything holy in a bunch of men running around a field chasing balls, giving and receiving butt pats, and tackling each other scares me.

The Nehor wrote:That anyone can find anything holy in a bunch of men running around a field chasing balls, giving and receiving butt pats, and tackling each other scares me.

[Giving Nehor a pat on the head] Run along, child, back to the kids' table. We'll save the wishbone for you. :)

The Nehor wrote:That anyone can find anything holy in a bunch of men running around a field chasing balls, giving and receiving butt pats, and tackling each other scares me.

The holy part is the snot bubbles coming out of the Ute QB's nose when the BYU linebacker blindsides him on a blitz.

Edit: At least I always have a supremely holy feeling whenever I see that happen . . .



2nd edit: I have to go to St. George now, but I'll look forward to seeing how this progresses when I return . . .

"Utes get sweet revenge in Provo! Utah 34, BYU 31"

(SL Tribune, 11-25-07)

William Schryver wrote:The holy part is the snot bubbles coming out of the Ute QB's nose when the BYU linebacker blindsides him on a blitz.

That's been Hall's problem all year. Hopefully not in this game though.

BYU 31
Utah 21

BYU: 10 * PI
Utah: 10 * e

I think Abman has it right. I was going to make up some score including the square root of -1 (i), but then my mind drifted to that most sublime and mind-blowing equation, Euler's Identity, and thought I'd mention it here, just because it's so freaking insanely cool.

e^(i * pi) + 1 = 0

Somewhere in there the Utah/BYU final score will be found, but only God knows where. And Euler.

ps: this board's software will always capitalize a single letter i. That's odd.

I have a certain affiliation with the U of U but I generally root for whoever people aren't rooting. I pretend to care, you see.