This RfM post by Eloher is really giving me a good laugh. It's about her Mormon mother's addiction to coffee enemas. Who knew there was such a thing? I certainly didn't!
I learn new things all the time on forums related to Mormonism! Coffee enemas from Eloher on RfM, a certain activitiy done by males in a circular formation from Will Schryver, some interesting stuff about lesbians from Gaz...I think he's the one who told me what gimp suits were, too. Maybe he's not as TBM as I thought... ;)
Anyway, here's Eloher's hilarious RfM post:
Basically, my uber- TBM mother was told to do coffee enemas by an uber TBM quack homeopathist. It's "medicinal" so therefore doesn't go against the WoW. Nevermind that my mother doesn't have colon cancer, precancerous polyps, or anything wrong with her that would require enemas on a regular basis like the "Dr." recommended- his recommendation was once a week to clean things out. Mom does then every day, sometimes twice a day when she needs a pick me up.
She was in complete denial about her addiction. She does an entire coffee pot directly into her colon where it is absorbed in much greater concentration than if she had digested it. One time, my little brother switched out her coffee with decaf and we all watched as Mom had terrible headaches, was exhausted, and had no energy. She was going through withdrawl- serious withdrawl. When we told her what my bro had done, she finally realized she was addicted, but that's ok, it's "medicinal" so doesn't matter. She's able to justify it.
As a teenager, I came up with that little variation of the jingle and Mom was about ready to kill me when I'd sing it as she headed upstairs with her pot of coffee. :^D
We had the most fun toying with her and dropping hints about her coffee consumption with her TBM family and guys that she dated. We were subtle enough that they didn't catch on, but we had fun seeing just how many different shades of red she could turn. Bwahahahaha! One of the best was when my oldest bro got back from being stationed in Hawaii and gave Mom a Kona blend for X-mas. She opened it right in front of her parents and siblings. HAhaha!
I don't know whether to laugh or to cry......so I'll laugh, it's more fun :)
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics "I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
"Finally, for your rather strange idea that miracles are somehow linked to the amount of gay sexual gratification that is taking place would require that primitive Christianity was launched by gay sex, would it not?"
Okay, I can't stop laughing. I keep hearing the jingle over and over again.
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics "I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
This RfM post by Eloher is really giving me a good laugh. It's about her Mormon mother's addiction to coffee enemas. Who knew there was such a thing? I certainly didn't!
I learn new things all the time on forums related to Mormonism! Coffee enemas from Eloher on RfM, a certain activitiy done by males in a circular formation from Will Schryver, some interesting stuff about lesbians from Gaz...I think he's the one who told me what gimp suits were, too. Maybe he's not as TBM as I thought... ;)
Anyway, here's Eloher's hilarious RfM post:
Basically, my uber- TBM mother was told to do coffee enemas by an uber TBM quack homeopathist. It's "medicinal" so therefore doesn't go against the WoW. Nevermind that my mother doesn't have colon cancer, precancerous polyps, or anything wrong with her that would require enemas on a regular basis like the "Dr." recommended- his recommendation was once a week to clean things out. Mom does then every day, sometimes twice a day when she needs a pick me up.
She was in complete denial about her addiction. She does an entire coffee pot directly into her colon where it is absorbed in much greater concentration than if she had digested it. One time, my little brother switched out her coffee with decaf and we all watched as Mom had terrible headaches, was exhausted, and had no energy. She was going through withdrawl- serious withdrawl. When we told her what my bro had done, she finally realized she was addicted, but that's ok, it's "medicinal" so doesn't matter. She's able to justify it.
As a teenager, I came up with that little variation of the jingle and Mom was about ready to kill me when I'd sing it as she headed upstairs with her pot of coffee. :^D
We had the most fun toying with her and dropping hints about her coffee consumption with her TBM family and guys that she dated. We were subtle enough that they didn't catch on, but we had fun seeing just how many different shades of red she could turn. Bwahahahaha! One of the best was when my oldest bro got back from being stationed in Hawaii and gave Mom a Kona blend for X-mas. She opened it right in front of her parents and siblings. HAhaha!
KA
THis is predominant among some pseudoscientific nutjobs out there. My stepmonster took us to an iridologist and then refused Milk in the house because of the danger it was posing to our lives. She freaked out one day that she found out the Horchatta I had bought had dairy. It was like it was freaking Gin or something, she was shaking and screaming, pouring it down the sink. Utterly Nucking Futz.
And crawling on the planet's face Some insects called the human race Lost in time And lost in space...and meaning