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Jskains's "Longhaired Weiner"

Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 8:35 pm
by _Mister Scratch
Okay, I know he "apologized" (though some contest its sincerity), and I do intend to cut him a break, but I have just had too many requests for another thread, that I really just couldn't say no.

According to the information I've received, the more intriguing Skains posts can be divided into three categories:
1. Posts that have to do with his endless waffling on Church-related issues. (Including a contemplation of name removal.)
2. Crazy money-making schemes (Cf. the thread on "needahappyhome.com").
3. Inane, off-topic posts that have to do with Josh's personal life.

The subject of this thread is a Skains Posting of the 3rd Kind. (I was notified about another classic, Seinfeld-ian post of his in which he asked the folks at ZLMB whether or not he should dump his then-girlfriend due to the fact that she had a bit of a mustache.) The original Z thread can be read here:

http://p094.ezboard.com/My-Weiners/fpac ... =281.topic

And, as you can see, it was titled "My Weiners". In fact, this thread contains a number of unfortunate double entendres. See for yourself:

jskains wrote:I now have a long haired weiner that is going to shows now. They take one Sunday a month until she gets enough points for championship.

My wife is a bit freaked cause she feels guilty about missing a day of Church. Thoughts?

JMS


Now, does that really seem like cause for a freak out? You be the judge!

jskains wrote:Oh, and our two shorthaired wieners are upset that she knows how to escape the crate and get in bed.

JMS


Yes; it's always a good idea to keep the longhaired weiner away from your bed.

Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 12:31 am
by _Jersey Girl
Scratch
Okay, I know he "apologized" (though some contest its sincerity), and I do intend to cut him a break, but I have just had too many requests for another thread, that I really just couldn't say no.


Sure you could.

Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 1:28 am
by _Mister Scratch
Jersey Girl wrote:Scratch
Okay, I know he "apologized" (though some contest its sincerity), and I do intend to cut him a break, but I have just had too many requests for another thread, that I really just couldn't say no.


Sure you could.


Well, I guess that's right. But, as should be obvious by now, I am a complete bastard and tool of Satan who only ever posts malicious personal attacks and smear threads, and who never has anything of substance to say.

Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 1:48 am
by _richardMdBorn
I agree with Jersey Girl. Josh is not a big time apologist. Why don't you leave him alone.

Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 1:59 am
by _The Nehor
CFR on who is DEMANDING another thread.

Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 2:01 am
by _Bond...James Bond
He seems to be the male equivalent of the MDB poster "Pirate", posting his every thought no matter how random or useless the information.

(I wonder if the dog is the same that was barking during his video rant)

Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 2:17 am
by _Mister Scratch
The Nehor wrote:CFR on who is DEMANDING another thread.


OUT OF MY MISERY, Personage, and MishMagnet all requested more threads. As to the all-caps "DEMANDING", I'm unaware of any place where I've said that. by the way: you seem awfully steamed, Nehor. Whatever did I do to piss you off so much, cupcake?

Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 2:33 am
by _Gadianton
I'll tell you who is demanding, Nehor. Those voting with their feet, or their fingertips rather. I have a rule of thumb to guage the popularity of threads. Look at the number of posts to view ratio. It seems like, for a "first page" topic, once the post gets underway, a solid topic has about 10 views per post. For instance, BishopRic's fine post has a solid 10. (note I said rule of thumb, there are of course exceptions and adjust for length of time up etc.) I plan on contributing to it later. But then look at Scratch's? They're simply among the most popular threads on the board, if not the most popular. Don't just blame Hollywood or the pornographers, blame the Marriott hotel chain and all the Mormons on business who whip it out -- their credit card -- and place their consumer's vote. Cuz that's what the market researches are watching, they surely don't listen to what the hypocrits teach from the pulpits on Sunday. Shame on all of you.

Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 2:39 am
by _The Nehor
Gadianton wrote:I'll tell you who is demanding, Nehor. Those voting with their feet, or their fingertips rather. I have a rule of thumb to guage the popularity of threads. Look at the number of posts to view ratio. It seems like, for a "first page" topic, once the post gets underway, a solid topic has about 10 views per post. For instance, BishopRic's fine post has a solid 10. (note I said rule of thumb, there are of course exceptions and adjust for length of time up etc.) I plan on contributing to it later. But then look at Scratch's? They're simply among the most popular threads on the board, if not the most popular. Don't just blame Hollywood or the pornographers, blame the Marriott hotel chain and all the Mormons on business who whip it out -- their credit card -- and place their consumer's vote. Cuz that's what the market researches are watching, they surely don't listen to what the hypocrits teach from the pulpits on Sunday. Shame on all of you.


Fine, I'll give up the pornography business I'm running on the side.

Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 2:41 am
by _The Nehor
Mister Scratch wrote:
The Nehor wrote:CFR on who is DEMANDING another thread.


OUT OF MY MISERY, Personage, and MishMagnet all requested more threads. As to the all-caps "DEMANDING", I'm unaware of any place where I've said that. by the way: you seem awfully steamed, Nehor. Whatever did I do to piss you off so much, cupcake?


Steamed....I'm not steamed. I'm throwing bombs. Trying to stay current with current apologetics. I'm sure you understand.

If I were steamed I would be hurling feces at your house while howling obscenities. Just for future reference.

Oh, and I advise against calling people cupcake. I'll either assume you're a woman and want me (and what woman wouldn't) or assume you're a man and start long homophobic threads about you.