Question for Charity

[_Yoda]

Hi Charity! :)

I posted this on the Tithing thread, but I think it got buried. I would really like to get some comments from you on this:

18 months ago, I broke my leg and severely damaged the knee joint. I spent 2 weeks in the hospital and a month in rehab before I could come home. I had a really mean therapist. He made me do excerises which hurt like crazy. One of the worst was when he would bend my lower leg back to increase the flexibility. It hurt so bad I would almost cry. I hated those exercises. And at times whne the pain was really bad, I hated him. On the wekeends, I had a different therapist. She was really sweet, and she wouldn't push nearly so hard on my leg to make it bend. And it didn't hurt nearly so bad.

I'm glad that things worked out for you, Charity, and that you were able to heal and have a full recovery. But can you be so sure that the female therapist who was a little "nicer" was less competent? Maybe she was being a little bit more cautious because that was her job. Maybe it was simply a different approach. Did you report her to anyone as incompetent? Did you ever talk to her and ask her why the treatments were so different between therapists, and why the other therapist pushed you harder? How can you be so sure that you would not have healed and still made significant progress had she not run the majority of your care?

I teach primarily through positive reinforcement. When I have a voice student who is doing something incorrectly, I don't spend a lot of time berating that student. That is wasted energy. My thought process is on how we fix the problem.

Positive reinforcement allows you to develop a trust with the student so that they can accept constructive criticism from you.

You seem to be under the impression that "tough love" is the best approach. In some instances, this can be effective, but in my personal experiences, I have achieved far greater success in my interpersonal relationships with more positive approaches.

[_Moniker]

I must have missed that post!

How awful. Sorry about your accident, Charity. Glad you're healed.

[_JAK]

I must have missed that post!

How awful. Sorry about your accident, Charity. Glad you're healed.

I add echo to Moniker’s thoughts for you, Charity.

JAK

[_charity]

Thanks, guys for the well wishes. Unfortunately, my knee did not heal. I can't walk until I can have a knee replacement. But I do quite fine in the wheelchair, and I can transfer easily from chair to other places.

Now about the topic. "Touch love." I don't think I am all the way in the camp of the real "tough love" proponents. But I am a lot closer there than to the permissive side. If I were to have motto's plastered all over my walls they would be things like

*I never promised you a rose garden.
*I never said it would be easy. I said it would be worth it.
*No pain, no gain.

Etc.

I have certainly seen that with therapists. My therapist in the rehab center got me upright and moving. I have full flexibility in my leg, it is just the patellar platform did not heal, and that had nothing to do with therapy, either hard or easy.. But I could have ended up with a leg that would hardly bend, which would have been a real inconvenience. I know what my therapy goals were. The "easy" therapist would not have gotten me there.

My mom made me practice the piano when I really wanted to go out and play baseball with the kids in our big yard. But my piano experiences have been some of the most fulfilling of my life. I wouldn't have had them, if she had let me go out and play as I wanted to.

That is the way I raised my children. They sometimes had to do things they didn't want to do, they sometimes didn't get to do things they wanted to, and they certainly didn't have a lot of the freedom that some of their friends had, but none of the them used drugs, got pregnant as a teenager or got anyone else pregnant, they all have gotten educations and have jobs which keep them off welfare.

I hope I used eternal pricniples. I think Heavenly Father sometimes requires things of that that we don't want to do, and His job is not to answer prayers for winning the lottery so we can have an easy life. But like I feel toward my mom now about making me practice the piano when I didn't want to, I am very grateful to her.

That's my idea on tough love, mean therapists, and mean moms.

[_dooosh]

Thanks, guys for the well wishes. Unfortunately, my knee did not heal. I can't walk until I can have a knee replacement. But I do quite fine in the wheelchair, and I can transfer easily from chair to other places.

Now about the topic. "Touch love." I don't think I am all the way in the camp of the real "tough love" proponents. But I am a lot closer there than to the permissive side. If I were to have motto's plastered all over my walls they would be things like

*I never promised you a rose garden.
*I never said it would be easy. I said it would be worth it.
*No pain, no gain.

Etc.

I have certainly seen that with therapists. My therapist in the rehab center got me upright and moving. I have full flexibility in my leg, it is just the patellar platform did not heal, and that had nothing to do with therapy, either hard or easy.. But I could have ended up with a leg that would hardly bend, which would have been a real inconvenience. I know what my therapy goals were. The "easy" therapist would not have gotten me there.

My mom made me practice the piano when I really wanted to go out and play baseball with the kids in our big yard. But my piano experiences have been some of the most fulfilling of my life. I wouldn't have had them, if she had let me go out and play as I wanted to.

That is the way I raised my children. They sometimes had to do things they didn't want to do, they sometimes didn't get to do things they wanted to, and they certainly didn't have a lot of the freedom that some of their friends had, but none of the them used drugs, got pregnant as a teenager or got anyone else pregnant, they all have gotten educations and have jobs which keep them off welfare.

I hope I used eternal pricniples. I think Heavenly Father sometimes requires things of that that we don't want to do, and His job is not to answer prayers for winning the lottery so we can have an easy life. But like I feel toward my mom now about making me practice the piano when I didn't want to, I am very grateful to her.

That's my idea on tough love, mean therapists, and mean moms.

Why not have the pretend superhero bishop give you a magical blessing?

"Sister Summer's Eve, we lay our hands upon your head...."

[_Coggins7]

This is either PP or Merc. Could be Nort. Not sure yet.

[_skippy the dead]

<snip>

That's my idea on tough love, mean therapists, and mean moms.

This made me laugh - I use the "because I'm a big mean mom" on my 5 year old when she asks why I make her do stuff she doesn't want to do (or don't indulge her every whim).

Oh - and your cool factor just increased slightly because you wanted to go play baseball in the yard as a kid.

Bummer about the leg - hope you can get your new knee soon. I've had 5 knee surgeries (before the age of 25) to get mine working properly, and I must say that they're useful when they work right.

[_skippy the dead]

Thanks, guys for the well wishes. Unfortunately, my knee did not heal. I can't walk until I can have a knee replacement. But I do quite fine in the wheelchair, and I can transfer easily from chair to other places.

Now about the topic. "Touch love." I don't think I am all the way in the camp of the real "tough love" proponents. But I am a lot closer there than to the permissive side. If I were to have motto's plastered all over my walls they would be things like

*I never promised you a rose garden.
*I never said it would be easy. I said it would be worth it.
*No pain, no gain.

Etc.

I have certainly seen that with therapists. My therapist in the rehab center got me upright and moving. I have full flexibility in my leg, it is just the patellar platform did not heal, and that had nothing to do with therapy, either hard or easy.. But I could have ended up with a leg that would hardly bend, which would have been a real inconvenience. I know what my therapy goals were. The "easy" therapist would not have gotten me there.

My mom made me practice the piano when I really wanted to go out and play baseball with the kids in our big yard. But my piano experiences have been some of the most fulfilling of my life. I wouldn't have had them, if she had let me go out and play as I wanted to.

That is the way I raised my children. They sometimes had to do things they didn't want to do, they sometimes didn't get to do things they wanted to, and they certainly didn't have a lot of the freedom that some of their friends had, but none of the them used drugs, got pregnant as a teenager or got anyone else pregnant, they all have gotten educations and have jobs which keep them off welfare.

I hope I used eternal pricniples. I think Heavenly Father sometimes requires things of that that we don't want to do, and His job is not to answer prayers for winning the lottery so we can have an easy life. But like I feel toward my mom now about making me practice the piano when I didn't want to, I am very grateful to her.

That's my idea on tough love, mean therapists, and mean moms.

Why not have the pretend superhero bishop give you a magical blessing?

"Sister Summer's Eve, we lay our hands upon your head...."

Dude, you suck.

[_dooosh]

Dude, you suck.

Geez, its all a joke...

[_moksha]

If I were to have motto's plastered all over my walls they would be things like

*I never promised you a rose garden.
*I never said it would be easy. I said it would be worth it.
*No pain, no gain.

Great Mottos! How about also:

* The best strokes are with a whip
* Grit your teeth if you want some gain
* Thank you Juliann666, may I have another?
* Pain free is for sissies
* Never mind the anesthetic, were is the salt?



Where did those smilies go?