Reasons not to marry someone--emotional baggage? Virginity?

[_asbestosman]

People speak about how important virginity is to LDS males. It made me curious about the idea in general. What sort of things would be good to avoid in a marriage partner? I'm not asking for myself obviously, but I do wonder what sort of baggage normal people think is best to avoid from a potential spouse or even a potential significant other.

Does virginity work the other direction? Is it a turn off since such a person will have little experience, and it may be an indication of being too shy or unsocial? If you were social, is it a bad idea to exclude shy people from your list of potential significant others?

What of emotional baggage? Is it wrong to "just be friends" and nothing more with those who struggle with hard things from their past which you may not be well equiped to handle or empathize with--things like being abused in the past, or even something traumatic like an untimely and life-changing illness or accident?

If you are a liberal, is it wrong to exclude conservatives from your list of potential significan others?

What say ye? I grant a difference between systematically creating a cultural prejudice for one or the other in these circumstances, but what about the other way? Would it be best for likes to marry likes? Is it best for LDS adults to marry likes as far as level of commitment goes (chastity, Word of Wisdom, level of activity in church and temple, etc.).

[_charity]

My opinion. Likes should marry likes in terms of basic ideals, theology, career goals, lifestyle, etc. But in terms of personality there should be a complementary arrangement. Two shy people keep each other shy. Two extroverts compete for attention. An introvert and an extrovert will pull each other in toward the middle from the extremes. That kind of thing.

[_bcspace]

If you are a liberal, is it wrong to exclude conservatives from your list of potential significan others?

It's so difficult for a liberal to remain active in the Church without becomming a conservative that this condition is unlikely to happen.

[_SUAS]

I'm an extrovert, my hubby an introvert we balance each other well. Neither of us were virgins when we married which is how I wanted it. We have never wondered what it would have been like with someone else because we know.
We always agreed on religion, none.

[_Moniker]

People speak about how important virginity is to LDS males. It made me curious about the idea in general. What sort of things would be good to avoid in a marriage partner? I'm not asking for myself obviously, but I do wonder what sort of baggage normal people think is best to avoid from a potential spouse or even a potential significant other.

Does virginity work the other direction? Is it a turn off since such a person will have little experience, and it may be an indication of being too shy or unsocial? If you were social, is it a bad idea to exclude shy people from your list of potential significant others?

What of emotional baggage? Is it wrong to "just be friends" and nothing more with those who struggle with hard things from their past which you may not be well equiped to handle or empathize with--things like being abused in the past, or even something traumatic like an untimely and life-changing illness or accident?

If you are a liberal, is it wrong to exclude conservatives from your list of potential significan others?

What say ye? I grant a difference between systematically creating a cultural prejudice for one or the other in these circumstances, but what about the other way? Would it be best for likes to marry likes? Is it best for LDS adults to marry likes as far as level of commitment goes (chastity, Word of Wisdom, level of activity in church and temple, etc.).

Okay, well I hate my answer. But, I've learned the hard way that men with emotional baggage are not the best marriage partners. Of course, I hate that answer 'cause I have quite a bit of emotional baggage.... As a matter of fact there's a man that I met a few months ago that keeps calling me and someone on this site told me to show him my blog. :P

I dunno... I suppose it really would depend upon whether they had dealt with it and could function. I don't know, asbestosman. I think it would depend upon the individual.

I think having similar values, interests, passions, etc... would be important.

[_The Nehor]

After past experiences I have decided that I do not want to date anyone who is now or has ever been a devil worshipper.

[_Moniker]

Aw, Nehor.... that hurts my feelings. :(


Okay... this is something I've actually thought about after dealing with Mos and ex-Mos. I've just got to say that I see LOADS of emotional baggage. And I mean, a significant amount. And some of the indoctrination and sexual immaturity really makes me wonder if I could deal with that as well. I think sometimes having similar backgrounds is important.

People talk about leaving the Church, the break ups of their families, etc... and these are things that people talk about for YEARS, I mean sometimes there are people still talking about these things 20 years later! I dunno, I actually at times think I'm a bit less screwed up than some of the people here.

[_Jason Bourne]

If you are a liberal, is it wrong to exclude conservatives from your list of potential significan others?

It's so difficult for a liberal to remain active in the Church without becomming a conservative that this condition is unlikely to happen.

I know a number of politically liberal active LDS. Some GAs are politically liberal. Harry Reid is as well. I think you are incorrect. Just ask Crocket.

[_Moniker]

Does virginity work the other direction? Is it a turn off since such a person will have little experience, and it may be an indication of being too shy or unsocial? If you were social, is it a bad idea to exclude shy people from your list of potential significant others?

Okay, I have to amend my above reply. 'Cause I don't want anyone to get their feelings hurt and I'll get PMs about that reply.

There are women that don't want to deal with a virgin or a shy man. There are men the same way (as I've been informed). I think that if there is a couple that desires intimacy anything can be overcome. It's all in the mind, if you're with someone that you feel comfortable with then it all falls into place.

[_Blixa]

I never "looked for" a marriage partner.