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I was walking out to my truck at work a few days after the papyrus artillery round struck and exploded deep in my piling up mountain of doubt.

This of course caused an avalanche of truth and thereby reduced my faith in LDS to a settling mass of many things out of place.

I had spent several days in wandering wonderment and at times a wave of fear would waft over me due to my so called apostasy.

This same fear began to creep up as I walked into the darkening evening towards my truck.

I thought it was completely ridiculous that I was in fear. "OVER WHAT!!!???", I blurted out into the empty silent parking lot.

I stopped and looked up into the waning evening sky, as I raised a clinched fist over my head. I muttered, "F*** YOU GOD! F*** YOU FOR making me feel this way. Ya wanna prove yourself? KILL ME NOW GOD DAMN YOU!!!"

That was nearly four years ago.

Then there was that document claimed to be more than a century old so but found on top of a 30 year old concrete slab under 20 years of bat guano.

Hey Boaz, I think I could sell you a white salamander any day of the week.

BC, do you wear the one piece or two piece garmies?

See you are the one still in the cult of men, wearing their ceremonial cult under-clothes because a man TOLD you to do so.

You are the one with the intellectual disadvantage. If one of the men that you have been told to revere as holy and divine, tells you that he holds a special paper or artifact, you mind is trapped in the chapel. You are not allowed to take off the garmies or think on your own and express your own opinions.

You lost your chance at selling me any Mormon bill of goods.

I stopped and looked up into the waning evening sky, as I raised a clinched fist over my head. I muttered, "F*** YOU GOD! F*** YOU FOR making me feel this way. Ya wanna prove yourself? KILL ME NOW GOD DAMN YOU!!!"

Anyone who actually believes that this has anything to do with the Church, its teachings, Joseph Smith, or anything else connected with the Restored Gospel, in any sense other than the sense in which a stray bullet in South Central L.A. finds a child standing by the water fountain on the playground, is indulging deeply in fantasy.

Impotent, mindless rage at God of this kind, and I have been there as a part of my experience with addiction, has little to do with God and everything in the world to do with what is inside oneself. The problem, of course, is the courage and maturity to take responsibility for one's one life circumstances, attitudes, and perceptions, and seek change in a constructive manner.

B&L are like teenagers raging at their parents for grounding them after that party they got caught at over the weekend.

Indeed, this impotent rage at God reminds me quite clearly of Ed Decker, with all that implies.

BC, do you wear the one piece or two piece garmies?

I don't know about bc, but I like to sleep in full scuba gear, with mask and flippers.

Coggins7 wrote:

I stopped and looked up into the waning evening sky, as I raised a clinched fist over my head. I muttered, "F*** YOU GOD! F*** YOU FOR making me feel this way. Ya wanna prove yourself? KILL ME NOW GOD DAMN YOU!!!"

Anyone who actually believes that this has anything to do with the Church, its teachings, Joseph Smith, or anything else connected with the Restored Gospel, in any sense other than the sense in which a stray bullet in South Central L.A. finds a child standing by the water fountain on the playground, is indulging deeply in fantasy.

Impotent, mindless rage at God of this kind, and I have been there as a part of my experience with addiction, has little to do with God and everything in the world to do with what is inside oneself. The problem, of course, is the courage and maturity to take responsibility for one's one life circumstances, attitudes, and perceptions, and seek change in a constructive manner.

B&L are like teenagers raging at their parents for grounding them after that party they got caught at over the weekend.

Indeed, this impotent rage at God reminds me quite clearly of Ed Decker, with all that implies.

Hey boozer, in case you have not noticed, Ed Decker has done more to spread the truth about the Mormon gospel than you could even wish for.

Coggins7 wrote:

BC, do you wear the one piece or two piece garmies?

I don't know about bc, but I like to sleep in full scuba gear, with mask and flippers.

Given your age, I will assume you are referring to the nasty old one piece with the crap stained poop chute?

BUT, given your so called addiction, I'd venture to guess you wear tightie-whitie Fruit-of-the-Looms.

BC, do you wear the one piece or two piece garmies?

See you are the one still in the cult of men, wearing their ceremonial cult under-clothes because a man TOLD you to do so.

You are the one with the intellectual disadvantage. If one of the men that you have been told to revere as holy and divine, tells you that he holds a special paper or artifact, you mind is trapped in the chapel. You are not allowed to take off the garmies or think on your own and express your own opinions.

You lost your chance at selling me any Mormon bill of goods.

You just bought one hook, line, and sinker. Actually, stinker because therewas an "anti" attached.

Hey boozer, in case you have not noticed, Ed Decker has done more to spread the truth about the Mormon gospel than you could even wish for.

Decker, in case you have not noticed, has been discredited for many years as the intellectual hack and pathological liar that he is.

You are known by the company you keep. This speaks volumes.

Coggins7 wrote:

BC, do you wear the one piece or two piece garmies?

I don't know about bc, but I like to sleep in full scuba gear, with mask and flippers.

(Alright Cogs is a crazy motha, but that made me laugh :)