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Where is the Joy in Mormonism?

Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 10:13 pm
by _KimberlyAnn
For me, Mormon services were utterly joyless. The music was boring. The speakers were usually boring because they didn't want to be there, either. I rarely felt better for having gone to my meetings, and I usually felt worse. Often, I felt condemned for not doing enough.

Like me, many of my fellow ward members attended meetings and went through other routines because they were compelled--not by love of God, but by fear or duty or a burdensome sense of responsibility. I dreaded meetings.

Everything was so boring and overly-controlled by some distant, seemingly uncaring authority. We, as a ward, had little autonomy. When I taught Primary, a Stake rule was implemented that we weren't to give the children any snacks. Church was where they were to learn the gospel, not have cookies. For a while, we ignored the rule, but eventually the Bishop put his foot down and that was that. Those three year olds lost their Goldfish crackers. And I lost what remaining respect I had for the Stake Presidency.

I attend a UMC congregation now and I can’t over-exaggerate the difference. It’s non-dogmatic. The services are joyful. People are there because they want to be there, and for no other reason. They don’t believe it’s required to attend church to be “saved”. They just like going. The music is uplifting. Most people seem happier for having spent their Sunday morning at church, and although I am probably not in theological agreement with the majority of folks in my congregation, I never, ever feel condemned by anything I hear there.

Kids dance and sing right up front and no one cares. People like it! I often provide sign language interpretation for the music, not because there are any deaf folks there, but because people enjoy it for some reason. And, I like doing it, so it’s win-win.

I can’t imagine anyone telling us we can’t give snacks to kids! Kids can go to church to learn about God, just like in the Mormon church. But, they can have Goldfish crackers, too. And, even if they’re not convinced God loves them, or if He even exists, those kids will know there are lots of people who love them. Who make them chocolate chip cookies. And who answer to no controlling Stake President who sees some value in a child being hungry!

No one cares how anyone else is dressed. No one cares who has a tattoo or how many earrings are in ears, male or female. And, the pastor asks folks to come up front to pray--specifically those who are struggling with addictions, or know someone who is. He struggled with alcoholism for years, and knows there are people right there in the building who need help. And people go forward to pray. They do it without shame, and others join them. I’ve gone up for someone else before, and didn’t think twice if anyone thought it was me with the addiction! The atmosphere is so supportive. No one has to fake like they’ve no problems. The people are “real”, for lack of a better term.

Why is such joy and acceptance lacking in Mormon congregations? I submit it is because Mormonism is a graceless and controlling organization. And that’s not just cultural. It’s doctrinal, as well. There’s no escaping the issue either way. In my opinion, Mormonism offers nothing good that cannot be found elsewhere in a much less controlling and much more joyful environment.

KA

Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 10:26 pm
by _skippy the dead
There is definitely a somberness to LDS services. The emphasis on uniformity and "reverence" squeezes out any possibility of brightness. The architecture of the buildings only serves to reinforce this. Where I live, there is a mega stake center right next to a Catholic church (they share the same parking lot driveway). The stake center is big, square, virtually windowless and foreboding. The Catholic church has a 270 degree wall of windows around its chapel in the round, and is bright and inviting. The distinction when you place those two buildings together is startling. Each chapel I attended from childhood was dark inside and if there were windows, they were stained a dark color orange, yellow or brown, and usually covered with thick drapes. I've attended religious services at a number of other dominations during my life, and none of them have been so dreary. With the uniformity of chapel construction, I don't think that this is accidental.

So yes - you're right. There appears to be little intended joy. I don't miss it.

Re: Where is the Joy in Mormonism?

Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 10:32 pm
by _Jason Bourne
KimberlyAnn wrote:For me, Mormon services were utterly joyless. The music was boring. The speakers were usually boring because they didn't want to be there, either. I rarely felt better for having gone to my meetings, and I usually felt worse. Often, I felt condemned for not doing enough.

Like me, many of my fellow ward members attended meetings and went through other routines because they were compelled--not by love of God, but by fear or duty or a burdensome sense of responsibility. I dreaded meetings.

Everything was so boring and overly-controlled by some distant, seemingly uncaring authority. We, as a ward, had little autonomy. When I taught Primary, a Stake rule was implemented that we weren't to give the children any snacks. Church was where they were to learn the gospel, not have cookies. For a while, we ignored the rule, but eventually the Bishop put his foot down and that was that. Those three year olds lost their Goldfish crackers. And I lost what remaining respect I had for the Stake Presidency.


KA



I think you are seeing your other ward members through your own eyes. Most of the members I go to Church with seem to be quite happy to be there.

Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:13 pm
by _BishopRic
I think many Mormons -- particularly the ones BIC -- are as happy as they know. There is so much talk about "I am so happy to have the gospel in my life...," that they come to believe that is the only true happiness. I think Mormon happiness differs from others, but neither is really "better" than the other. It's all about expectations. Mormon "joy" is when one believes they should "be and do" a certain way, and then that happens. It deals in extremes, and drama. When "it" doesn't happen, there is much sadness and depression.

"Outsiders" live with less expectation, and are more able to tolerate differences. Without the high expectations, there are fewer disappointments. It is a more level and calm sort of happiness, in my opinion. I don't dis Mormon happiness, I just prefer the latter for me today.

Re: Where is the Joy in Mormonism?

Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:52 pm
by _Dr. Shades
KimberlyAnn wrote:I often provide sign language interpretation for the music, not because there are any deaf folks there, . . .


With all due respect to you, KA, do you have any idea how crazy that sounds? :-)

Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 1:15 am
by _truth dancer
Hi KA,

I LOVE the adds for the United Methodist Church.

They are all about welcoming, accepting, respecting everyone, regardless of one's difficulties and challenges. I really love this idea and believe it is at the heart of the teachings of Jesus.

Regardless of religious/doctrinal beliefs, I think there is much value in joining with others to share our love and our struggles as we journey through life.

Listening to inspiring teachers, or motivational speakers gives me a little boost, encouragement, and hope!

I can't say that I felt that very often in the LDS church.... mostly it was/is reminders to do missionary work, pay your tithing, honor Joseph Smith, go to the temple, honor the priesthood, do more, obey, etc. etc.

I do sense a pervasive boredom in the LDS church but I think people are mostly satisfied with the status quot, but I could be wrong!

~dancer~

Re: Where is the Joy in Mormonism?

Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 2:39 am
by _KimberlyAnn
Dr. Shades wrote:
KimberlyAnn wrote:I often provide sign language interpretation for the music, not because there are any deaf folks there, . . .


With all due respect to you, KA, do you have any idea how crazy that sounds? :-)


And with all due respect to you, Dr. Shades, I don't think you know how lovely and mesmerizing sign language can be! Especially song interpretation done correctly and with feeling.

There's plenty to watch on youtube, but here's one of my favorites. The signer is just beautiful.

So Are You to Me

Also, I AM fairly crazy, so maybe that's why signing for hearing people seems perfectly normal to me?

Kimberly Ann

Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 4:37 am
by _Gazelam
I have to ask, at the other church, what did you actually learn in the sermon?

I agree with you, the born again sevices are pretty exuberant, but their doctrine is thin as water.

Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 4:42 am
by _Moniker
Heh... I sorta gotta say something about Gaz's remark.

I was baptized a Methodist as a young child. I grew up going to Methodist Churches on and off. Mostly off 'cause my parents were embarrassed to take me as a teen so I just stayed home -- :)

Did lots of arts and crafts crap, played about with other kids when I visited at my grandparent's Church that was Methodist -- and that's pretty much all I remember. I think I may have painted a rock one time with a pretty picture...

Anyway, never learned a damn thing. Don't know what in the hell the Methodists think and most of them I ever met don't even talk about what they believe... which I rather APPRECIATE!!! They aren't fundamentalists and they're usually not zealous in anyway about religious matters. Not at least in my experience.

The Methodists are not wild in their worships, Gaz. They're actually fairly somber -- not like Pentecostals or many Baptists. They're very METHODical... yet, there is a great sense of acceptance, for the most part, and a great deal of community. They're very active in social causes and never met a one that was concerned about getting people to convert. They don't care if you tithe -- a plate is passed about. The most important part is memorizing your Nicene Creed and make sure you know the Doxology! I got both of those memorized!

Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 4:49 am
by _Gazelam
Where is the Joy in Mormonism?


Have you tried the Jello Kim? Its fabulous, and sometimes, if your lucky, they put fruit in it !