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I figure I owe it to all of you here in Shadyville to be the first ones to hear the news: After an arduous struggle between the two conflicted parts of my mind, I have come to the unavoidable conclusion that I must face the facts, awaken from my intellectual slumber, and make the break from the chains of LDS apologia and the mythology of Mormonism.

I realize that this might come as a shock to many of you, especially some of the former targets of my zealotry like Dartagnan, Mr. Scratch, Sethbag, The Dude, and others. But, as you can well imagine (each of you having previously gone through the process) there comes a time when you can no longer pretend that it all makes sense; that there are plausible answers to the unanswerable questions; that the proverbial “shelf” can hold all those things you have placed on it over the years.

So, this is my declaration of freedom. I choose to face the formidable world on its own terms, casting aside the crutch of religion and my false hopes for a better world to come. I only regret that I permitted so much of my life to be wasted before I came to this moment of liberation. But, better late than never. Better now before another day is wasted following down the rabbit holes of a philosophy and theology that is only designed to lead you from trick to trick, never once gratifying your deepest needs for meaning and purpose. Now I see that meaning and purpose are of my own making; if I am to worship a god, he will be of my own creation. And should I desire to live forever, then I must leave behind something that will be remembered long after I have crumbled to the basic elements of which I am made.

Thank you all for assisting me in reaching this epiphanous moment. Though my path may lead me away from message boards forever, I will never forget you and the important role you played in helping me find my way.

Ha ha, good one, Will. But Bond already beat you to the punch on this one. A happy April 1 to you anyhow.

April right ?
~evolving

Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

I realize this is probably a joke but I think Will is far too masculine to be contained within the LDS faith in any case.

The Nehor wrote:Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

I realize this is probably a joke but I think Will is far too masculine to be contained within the LDS faith in any case.

Already I am being vilified by the TBMs! I guess that is quite predictable. But your insinuation that my alleged over-supply of masculinity would make me unsuited for continued association with Mormonism is quite backwards, if you ask me. The LDS church welcomes and promotes those who are committed to the patriarchal order of the priesthood. Were I to continue among them, what hope would my daughters ever have for purpose and fulfillment in their lives? None! They would simply be groomed for early marriage, as many children as they could bear, and a lifetime of working in the shadows, doing all the menial tasks that men feel themselves too "masculine" to perform.

My liberation is undoubtedly the best thing to ever happen to my precious daughters. Now they have a future.

William Schryver wrote:

The Nehor wrote:Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

I realize this is probably a joke but I think Will is far too masculine to be contained within the LDS faith in any case.

Already I am being vilified by the TBMs! I guess that is quite predictable. But your insinuation that my alleged over-supply of masculinity would make me unsuited for continued association with Mormonism is quite backwards, if you ask me. The LDS church welcomes and promotes those who are committed to the patriarchal order of the priesthood. Were I to continue among them, what hope would my daughters ever have for purpose and fulfillment in their lives? None! They would simply be groomed for early marriage, as many children as they could bear, and a lifetime of working in the shadows, doing all the menial tasks that men feel themselves too "masculine" to perform.

My liberation is undoubtedly the best thing to ever happen to my precious daughters. Now they have a future.

HOORAY!!! Are any of them my age?

And a happy April Fool's Day to you too, Will.

(Too bad that you're unaware that every word you wrote is true, however.)

The Nehor wrote:

William Schryver wrote:

The Nehor wrote:Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

I realize this is probably a joke but I think Will is far too masculine to be contained within the LDS faith in any case.

Already I am being vilified by the TBMs! I guess that is quite predictable. But your insinuation that my alleged over-supply of masculinity would make me unsuited for continued association with Mormonism is quite backwards, if you ask me. The LDS church welcomes and promotes those who are committed to the patriarchal order of the priesthood. Were I to continue among them, what hope would my daughters ever have for purpose and fulfillment in their lives? None! They would simply be groomed for early marriage, as many children as they could bear, and a lifetime of working in the shadows, doing all the menial tasks that men feel themselves too "masculine" to perform.

My liberation is undoubtedly the best thing to ever happen to my precious daughters. Now they have a future.

HOORAY!!! Are any of them my age?

This is precisely the kind of thing you would expect from someone who thinks he has "priesthood." And, of course, he doesn't care if any of them are his age. In fact, if he follows the course of his revered prophet, he will pick them as young as possible.

Dr. Shades wrote:And a happy April Fool's Day to you too, Will.

(Too bad that you're unaware that every word you wrote is true, however.)

Alas, I expected this reaction. I guess I should have waited until tomorrow . . .

William Schryver wrote:

Dr. Shades wrote:And a happy April Fool's Day to you too, Will.

(Too bad that you're unaware that every word you wrote is true, however.)

Alas, I expected this reaction. I guess I should have waited until tomorrow . . .

I would hope, for your sake, that your post is truthful. However, you don't seem either angry or sad enough to be genuine.