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I can't hide the truth any longer

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 1:54 am
by _CaliforniaKid
Will Schryver's confession on this board has inspired me. It's time for me to come out of the closet, as well. All these years I have actually had a testimony of the Book of Mormon, but I've been afraid to admit it because it means sacrificing my enormous ego and leaving my family and all the ones I love. But every time I read a FARMS essay I am reminded that the Gospel is built on truth, and that I have been hiding behind a lie. Daniel Peterson's extraordinary wit has especially helped me to move toward the truth. When he mocks and belittles the exmormon and anti-Mormon communities, I am reminded of the intellectual and spiritual poverty of the persons with whom I keep company. Pahoran has also been a powerful witness to me. His frank truth-telling has always seared me to the very core of my soul, because deep down inside I know he's right.

I have taken some comfort in pretending that the LDS Church is a terrible organization that harms its members and suppresses gays and women, but even these atrocity tales have been exposed as terrible falsehoods by juliann's brilliant sociological analyses. And while the testimony of science has also supported me in my apostasy-- because denying my testimony is apostasy, and I may in fact be beyond forgiveness at this point-- Alan Goff and David Bohn have exposed the fact that science is built on a false "positivism" that has been discredited by postmodern scholars like Jacques Derrida, who no doubt would be baptized right alongside me if only he were alive today.

And so to all of these apologists, I want to say thanks for being such shining examples to me all these years. I couldn't have discovered the truth without you.

Re: I can't hide the truth any longer

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 2:03 am
by _Trevor
CaliforniaKid wrote:And so to all of these apologists, I want to say thanks for being such shining examples to me all these years. I couldn't have discovered the truth without you.


Good to have you back on our team, CK! ;-)

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 2:32 am
by _Brackite
I also can't hide the truth any longer either. I must confess, that I am now a believer in the missing Papyrus theory for the Book of Abraham. I thought that this theory had been sufficiently debunked and proven false, but after having read the latest Book of Abraham apologetics from LDS Egyptologist and LDS Apologist John Gee, I can no longer believe that. I do now believe in the missing papyrus theory for the Book of Abraham, and I believe that this Papyrus very likely contained the text of the Book of Abraham on it.

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:01 am
by _Scottie
As long as we're coming out here, I have a confession as well...

I'm not really a man, I'm a woman.
Actually, I'm a horse.
Actually I'm just a broom.

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:05 am
by _Moniker
I'm going to be an official Molly. I'm joining the Church.

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:22 am
by _CaliforniaKid
Brackite wrote:I also can't hide the truth any longer either. I must confess, that I am now a believer in the missing Papyrus theory for the Book of Abraham. I thought that this theory had been sufficiently debunked and proven false, but after having read the latest Book of Abraham apologetics from LDS Egyptologist and LDS Apologist John Gee, I can no longer believe that. I do now believe in the missing papyrus theory for the Book of Abraham, and I believe that this Papyrus very likely contained the text of the Book of Abraham on it.


Oh yeah, I forgot about this one, Brackite. Thanks for reminding me. All those times I argued against the missing papyrus theory, what was I thinking? Me, a twenty-two year old student, arguing with a professional Egyptologist? And thinking that I'm seriously qualified to contradict what he says? What a fool I've been!

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:30 am
by _Trevor
CaliforniaKid wrote:Oh yeah, I forgot about this one, Brackite. Thanks for reminding me. All those times I argued against the missing papyrus theory, what was I thinking? Me, a twenty-two year old student, arguing with a professional Egyptologist? And thinking that I'm seriously qualified to contradict what he says? What a fool I've been!


It is good to see you coming to your senses at last.

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:47 am
by _Brackite
Scottie wrote:As long as we're coming out here, I have a confession as well...

I'm not really a man, I'm a woman.
Actually, I'm a horse.
Actually I'm just a broom.


In my former life, I was really a horse. Well, Actually I was really a tapir, but the Nephites who I dwelt among, called me a horse.

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:55 am
by _Tal Bachman
CaliforniaKid

That was totally hilarious

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:02 am
by _bcspace
And so to all of these apologists, I want to say thanks for being such shining examples to me all these years. I couldn't have discovered the truth without you.


Though it may seem to be a harmless April Fool's joke, simply going through the motions like that plants a good seed in your mind that may sprout into faith in what the LDS Church teaches (or a cannabis plant or a field of poppies, you can't be too sure...)