I Need Advice...
Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 8:33 pm
So, I belong to this really cool fringe group -- we call ourselves the Zapzoids. We have a pretty interesting belief system, we were planted here by Mother Mongoose and Father Zapzoid -- who created the world, and all the inhabitants. We have special speak (click our tongues sort of thing), and a pretty neato dance we do so we can identify who the other Zapzoids are. We know we're pretty fantastic 'cause we know all this cool crap that none of the other inhabitants of the earth do -- we're trying to spread the word! When we're considering what to do in life we imagine a lil green fella that sits on our shoulder -- he whispers in our ear, his name is Zinzoid. We give lots of money to the Big Oompa Loompa Zippy Dama Lama so he can help build a super terrestrial space ship so one day Father Zapzoid can come back down to bring down awesome goodies for all the dedicated believers. We wear green sparkly underpants that make sure we remember not to touch our pee pees -- if we touch our pee pees then we might get zapped, and that ain't cool, at all. No, sirreee. We marry other Zapzoids in super cool ceremonies and wear funky clothes, well they sort of suck, but we don't talk about that too much. We have the Zapzoid Manual that fills us in on all our codes of conduct and ethics.... I mean, they're sort of like the ethics other people have that don't belong to the Zapzoids, but, since they don't get the cool manual they're not as wicked awesome as we are.
So, I grew up in the Zapzoids and have lots of fabulous memories. I made lots of really cool friends, spent lots of time at family activities, did some cool rituals, ate lots of green jello and casseroles as a kid -- they rock, by the way.
My parents are Zapzoids, my grandparents are Zapzoids, all my friends are Zapzoids, as well.
Problem... I've been reading some lately and have begun to doubt that Father Zapzoid really created the earth..... I know -- OMG! It's shocking... and I'm sort of starting to wonder about some of the other stuff we do... 'cause well, frankly it's a bit kooky. I used to think it all was "right" in some manner, but I'm seriously beginning to have my doubts. Now my son has asked me if he has to go to the Zapzoid festivities every week 'cause he's just not down with it. My husband is a strict zapzoid (he's awesome by the way) and insists that our son go. I'm not so sure about this... I mean, I sort of would like my son to not worry about his pee pee getting zapped, and I'm SERIOUSLY considering buying some pink thongs (I'm SICK of green), and well, I just don't know what to do about my son.... I mean, it could 'cause some problems in my marriage, and well some of the stuff I got out of the Zapzoids is something I appreciate. It's really not so simple, for me. I just dunno what to do!!!
Should I force him to eat his green veggies?
I know, it's offensive..... It's not meant to mock cinepro... only wade. :)
So, I grew up in the Zapzoids and have lots of fabulous memories. I made lots of really cool friends, spent lots of time at family activities, did some cool rituals, ate lots of green jello and casseroles as a kid -- they rock, by the way.
My parents are Zapzoids, my grandparents are Zapzoids, all my friends are Zapzoids, as well.
Problem... I've been reading some lately and have begun to doubt that Father Zapzoid really created the earth..... I know -- OMG! It's shocking... and I'm sort of starting to wonder about some of the other stuff we do... 'cause well, frankly it's a bit kooky. I used to think it all was "right" in some manner, but I'm seriously beginning to have my doubts. Now my son has asked me if he has to go to the Zapzoid festivities every week 'cause he's just not down with it. My husband is a strict zapzoid (he's awesome by the way) and insists that our son go. I'm not so sure about this... I mean, I sort of would like my son to not worry about his pee pee getting zapped, and I'm SERIOUSLY considering buying some pink thongs (I'm SICK of green), and well, I just don't know what to do about my son.... I mean, it could 'cause some problems in my marriage, and well some of the stuff I got out of the Zapzoids is something I appreciate. It's really not so simple, for me. I just dunno what to do!!!
Should I force him to eat his green veggies?
I know, it's offensive..... It's not meant to mock cinepro... only wade. :)