Forgiveness
Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 2:40 am
I went to MAD and saw a thread on it which made me question how forgiveness is viewed in a religious context.
The OP mentioned that we rationalize behavior when we forgive. That seems rather odd, to me. I think to forgive I always recognize the behavior or actions of others, recognize what they did, the trauma or whatnot it caused and then choose to let it go. Don't downplay it, rather embrace that I know what was done, and I have no power to change what was done -- only how I will carry forward.
I was interested in how it seemed to be the case where forgiveness is given to another person in the thread. Yet, I never think of forgiveness as for the one that causes distress and more for the one that was hurt in some manner. Truth be told I hear about forgiveness a lot from religious persons and yet not quite certain why they believe the special forgiveness card is given to others. If I grovel before you then will you please forgive me sort of thing? It's putting the "sinner" in the position of having to confess. Some people will never confess. Some people don't care that they hurt others. Some people have no qualms with deceit, betrayal, lies, etc... and will never repent. In the Church is it taught you forgive someone even if they never ask for said forgiveness?
I've never thought about forgiveness in the sense that it was given to someone else. We can forgive people without them ever asking for it. We can forgive people without ever telling them we do so. I do that ALLLL the time! I must, or else I would hold on to grudges, become bitter, cynical, etc...
So, in LDS and Christianity in general is the idea that you forgive those that ask for forgiveness? What do you do with those that never ask for forgiveness? Never admit to wrong doing?
The idea that you only forgive those that ask for forgiveness seems to follow from the mindset of God asking for his "children" to confess, etc... Yet, I don't know if that seems like a really sensible way to think about the concept of forgiveness. It seems backwards almost. No doubt it's pleasant when someone recognizes what they did and can own up to it, yet, when they don't are you supposed to forgive them anyway?
In the Church is it held up as a special card that some hold on to and others must grovel before them before it is given? Seems strange, to me....
How is this dealt with in the LDS Church?
The OP mentioned that we rationalize behavior when we forgive. That seems rather odd, to me. I think to forgive I always recognize the behavior or actions of others, recognize what they did, the trauma or whatnot it caused and then choose to let it go. Don't downplay it, rather embrace that I know what was done, and I have no power to change what was done -- only how I will carry forward.
I was interested in how it seemed to be the case where forgiveness is given to another person in the thread. Yet, I never think of forgiveness as for the one that causes distress and more for the one that was hurt in some manner. Truth be told I hear about forgiveness a lot from religious persons and yet not quite certain why they believe the special forgiveness card is given to others. If I grovel before you then will you please forgive me sort of thing? It's putting the "sinner" in the position of having to confess. Some people will never confess. Some people don't care that they hurt others. Some people have no qualms with deceit, betrayal, lies, etc... and will never repent. In the Church is it taught you forgive someone even if they never ask for said forgiveness?
I've never thought about forgiveness in the sense that it was given to someone else. We can forgive people without them ever asking for it. We can forgive people without ever telling them we do so. I do that ALLLL the time! I must, or else I would hold on to grudges, become bitter, cynical, etc...
So, in LDS and Christianity in general is the idea that you forgive those that ask for forgiveness? What do you do with those that never ask for forgiveness? Never admit to wrong doing?
The idea that you only forgive those that ask for forgiveness seems to follow from the mindset of God asking for his "children" to confess, etc... Yet, I don't know if that seems like a really sensible way to think about the concept of forgiveness. It seems backwards almost. No doubt it's pleasant when someone recognizes what they did and can own up to it, yet, when they don't are you supposed to forgive them anyway?
In the Church is it held up as a special card that some hold on to and others must grovel before them before it is given? Seems strange, to me....
How is this dealt with in the LDS Church?
