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Did Mary eat Jesus?

Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 8:53 am
by _Mercury
It all fits ;)

Mary goes to the crypt and because Palestine was in the depths of a possible drought and ongoing starvation she ate Jesus? Cannibalism. Its more plausible than the ascent into heaven story. Why else would christins say "he is in me". Let us not forget the ritual cannibalization of Jesus Christ every sunday either.

The sacrament is just a reenactment of a bunch of anti-roman insurgent revolutionaries chowing down on available meat. It happened in Leningrad, why not roman occupied Palestine?

How better to create a core of individuals. Did Mary run to get the others because she couldn't eat it all? Was Thomas just doing due dilligence on the quality of the cut?

Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 1:00 pm
by _Bryan Inks
You don't have an option for "Sure, make him into some peppered jerky!"

So, I won't vote.

Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 7:12 pm
by _moksha
Merc has sunk to a new low and Wade knows the lyrics to obscure showtunes.


Could be truth to both these points.

Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 7:42 pm
by _harmony
Two words: seek help.

Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 7:59 pm
by _Tori
harmony wrote:Two words: seek help.


LOL! Ain't that the truth! What a sick topic.

Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 8:08 pm
by _Mister Scratch
You know, I'm not convinced that Wade's Church Court had anything to do with homosexuality. Based on his own description of the mysterious "infraction," it sounds to me more like he was dabbling in masturbation or pornography:

wenglund wrote:Having been on the receiving end of a Church court for personal behavior, I tend to view it differently. Since I looked (and still look) to the Church for moral guidance, and I value the perspective of my leaders, and I recognize that no man is an island, and that my behavior, while done in private, could very well impact others besides myself, I thought it perfectly appropriate for the Church to counsel with me and determine what may be in the best interest of all parties concerned. And, even though there was some disciplinary action taken, I didn't so much view it as "punative" (though I was perfectly willing to stand accountable and take what may be due), but actually as relief from certain binding and perhaps ominous (at least to me in my diminished spiritual condition) responsibilities and covenants. I viewed it as a court of love, which may have helped, I hope, avert the flames from engulfing me. ;-)
(emphasis added)

He originally posted this material on the ironically named FAIR/MADboard. Later, over here on MDB, he elaborated:

wenglund wrote:ust to set the record straight and quail some of the wild speculations:

1) I was in no way a "victim" of a Church court, nor did I experience any measure of "abuse of priesthood authority", but rather I was benefited thereby.

2) My ecclessiastical leaders didn't need to convince me that my private acts could effect others, because I had come to that conclusion, myself. I came to that conclusion, in part, through rational and pragmatic considerations, as well as by personally observing the negative affect that my actions had on others.

3) I initiated the court proceedings, myself, and thought it quite necessary.

4) I felt the verdict was very reasonable and warranted, and even thought at the time that it may have been a bit too lenient.

5) This action occured more than two decades ago, long before I had heard of CBT, and long before my fascination with helping people emotionally, psychologically, and so forth.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-
(emphasis added)

So, I'm not sure.... Clearly, though, it was something he was doing "in private" which somehow carried over into his interactions with other people. In any case, based on his own commentary, I rather doubt that his Court of Love had to do with homosexuality.

Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:51 pm
by _moksha
People are mean to pick on Wade. He seems like a decent person to me and that is enough.

Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 8:32 am
by _Tal Bachman
Mister Scratch wrote:You know, I'm not convinced that Wade's Church Court had anything to do with homosexuality. Based on his own description of the mysterious "infraction," it sounds to me more like he was dabbling in masturbation or pornography


---I was in EQ presidencies for years and was close buddies with bishops and high councilmen, and always tried to keep abreast of disciplinary protocols, and I've NEVER heard of a church court for masturbation or pornography, especially in the cases of young men, which Wade would have been at the time. Perhaps they might have had one for a serious pornography addiction or ritual masturbation...but it still sounds quite extreme.

And the phrase "in private" doesn't necessarily mean "alone". It just means "in private", as in, "not in public".

Whatever the issue was, my guess would be that if Wade spilled his guts, that hardly any of us would agree with him that his actions were truly "hurting" anyone else. What was he doing, stealing money or killing people or something? I doubt it. My guess is it was something "harmful" only in the imaginations of those in thrall to ludicrous 3000 year old scriptures in Leviticus.

Lastly, it is really too bad that a seemingly decent person like Wade should look to Mormonism for "moral guidance". Its "morality" is like something out of Machiavelli's "The Prince".

Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 9:20 pm
by _bcspace
Mary goes to the crypt and because Palestine was in the depths of a possible drought and ongoing starvation she ate Jesus? Cannibalism. Its more plausible than the ascent into heaven story. Why else would christins say "he is in me". Let us not forget the ritual cannibalization of Jesus Christ every sunday either.


Transubstantiation is not LDS doctrine.

Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 11:15 pm
by _Mercury
bcspace wrote:
Mary goes to the crypt and because Palestine was in the depths of a possible drought and ongoing starvation she ate Jesus? Cannibalism. Its more plausible than the ascent into heaven story. Why else would christins say "he is in me". Let us not forget the ritual cannibalization of Jesus Christ every sunday either.


Transubstantiation is not LDS doctrine.


I think if you notice that I said christians this will imply I was not talking about Mormons.

Snicker