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Which sect to join?
Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:47 pm
by _msnobody
If Joseph Smith were to miraculously come back to life today and resume his life on earth, which sect of Mormonism would he join?
Re: Which sect to join?
Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:50 pm
by _Trevor
msnobody wrote:If Joseph Smith were to miraculously come back to life today and resume his life on earth, which sect of Mormonism would he join?
The one that offered him the most power and women.
Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 11:02 pm
by _CaliforniaKid
Trick question.
"I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that: 'they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.'"
Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 11:04 pm
by _Trevor
CaliforniaKid wrote:"I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that: 'they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.'"
Wrong, that is the answer he gives when they toss him out on his butt.
Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 12:37 am
by _SatanWasSetUp
I think Joseph Smith was more interested in sex than sects. In fact, maybe Joseph Smith's purpose for going into the woods was because he was a 14 year-old boy going through puberty and wanted to pray to ask god some questions about sex, and god misunderstood and thought he said sects.
Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 2:17 am
by _CaliforniaKid
Joseph Smith: I'm a little confused about sex.
God: Don't join any of them.
Joseph Smith: Huh? What's that supposed to mean?
God: All sects are wrong.
Joseph Smith: Sex is wrong?!? Dammit! So... what do I do, then?
God: Start your own Church.
Joseph Smith: Yeah! Great idea... then I can make my own rules!
Re: Which sect to join?
Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 3:47 am
by _the road to hana
msnobody wrote:If Joseph Smith were to miraculously come back to life today and resume his life on earth, which sect of Mormonism would he join?
Methodism.
No, seriously, he'd start back up again, claiming he'd been told none of them are right. He wouldn't be "joining" anything. And of course if members knew it was Joseph Smith, they'd follow him in a heartbeat, wherever he led.
Re: Which sect to join?
Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 4:48 am
by _Mercury
msnobody wrote:If Joseph Smith were to miraculously come back to life today and resume his life on earth, which sect of Mormonism would he join?
God, what is ths, RFM? Gee i wonder what the mutha****in answer is. The answer of course is Jesus.
Re: Which sect to join?
Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:44 am
by _Coca Cola
msnobody wrote:If Joseph Smith were to miraculously come back to life today and resume his life on earth, which sect of Mormonism would he join?
I think FLDS, but they would quit the old-fashioned clothes and hairstyles, and let the women wear makeup. Joseph liked pretty ladies.