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Our dear General Authorities haven't graced us with their presence in months. Have they forgotten their wayward sheep?

I miss dear Tommy Monson and his picture book Bible. Has he become prideful in his new calling as Prophet? Has he become too busy for us? Or, heaven forbid, begun reading a Bible with words and grown too despondent to post?

And what about Boyd K. Packer? Without his chastising calls to repentance, I have grown even more wicked over the past several months. Has he, unlike President Monson, given up on us apostates? Does he not want us to return? Perhaps the sting of rejection he recently suffered after the death of Hinckley has sent him into a cycle of depression and left him without the strength to post?

And Brother Bedme...oops, I mean Bednar? What has become of him? How I miss his fine entries! Last I heard, he was still in Jamaica where his wife was enjoying entertaining the basketball team.

What has happened to the Lord's representatives? Why have they left us?

Come back, Tommy, Boyd, and David!

Kimberly Ann

KimberlyAnn wrote:Our dear General Authorities haven't graced us with their presence in months. Have they forgotten their wayward sheep?

I miss dear Tommy Monson and his picture book Bible. Has he become prideful in his new calling as Prophet? Has he become too busy for us? Or, heaven forbid, begun reading a Bible with words and grown too despondent to post?

And what about Boyd K. Packer? Without his chastising calls to repentance, I have grown even more wicked over the past several months. Has he, unlike President Monson, given up on us apostates? Does he not want us to return? Perhaps the sting of rejection he recently suffered after the death of Hinckley has sent him into a cycle of depression and left him without the strength to post?

And Brother Bedme...oops, I mean Bednar? What has become of him? How I miss his fine entries! Last I heard, he was still in Jamaica where his wife was enjoying entertaining the basketball team.

What has happened to the Lord's representatives? Why have they left us?

Come back, Tommy, Boyd, and David!

My Dear Sister Kimberly,

How could I possibly have forgotten you? You are always in my prayers,...and dreams.

Sister Bednar and I continue our stay in Jamaica as often as is possible. What with my busy schedule as an Apostle of the Lord, of whom I bear special witness, by the way, we can't spend as much time here as we would like. But Sister Bednar is learning to cook, and quite well I might add, many of the local herbal dishes. They are delicious. You just want to eat more and more. It's uncanny. (You may have noticed watching conference that I have put on a little weight. Shhh! I payed off the camera man to avoid any bad shots, but he went ahead anyway. I know. I didn't look my best. And I lost 50 bucks to the camera man. Bummer deal all around.)

I wish I could fill you in on more intrigue down at the Church Conquest building. Brother Monson is locked away behind closed doors with his so-called "counselors." (Can you believe it? A German in the First Presidency? What is this Church coming to? Could this really be the last days? Finally? Really?)

Well, I can tell you only what I am hearing, but Boyd is grumbling. That is for sure. I mean, not his stomach. We all know that his stomach is grumbling each morning when we meet in the temple. That is not what I am talking about. He is an angry bear these days. I fear for his health and have invited him to visit the brothers (and sisters) in lovely Jamaica and chill out. I believe he is considering it if he can finangle a free jet ride with Huntsman, Inc.

Well, what else might you desire to know or have, my dear Kimberly? I am in a generous mood. Look forward to hearing from you.

Your brother, strapped as always, in the harness--



Oops! Excuse me, the elder's quorum president here in Kingston was playing with my laptop yesterday.

This is the one:



David

yuk yuk yuk!

Hilarious. Didn't someone say something about wasting time on uselessness? The Dude, where are you!?

They are too busy at the church owned hunting lodge.

David A. Bednar wrote:

Nothing says classy like a gay/S&M joke.

LifeOnaPlate wrote:yuk yuk yuk!

Hilarious. Didn't someone say something about wasting time on uselessness? The Dude, where are you!?

The harness! yk yuk yuk!