Missionary Motivation (PG13)

[_LDS Missionary]

http://www.whymormons.net/2008/05/missi ... ation.html

This motivational poster has to be one of my favorite creations. I hope the spirit accompanies you as you view it, too.

[_Dr. Shades]

Why not post your image directly? Here it is:

[_Chap]

http://www.whymormons.net/2008/05/missionary-masturbation.html

This motivational poster has to be one of my favorite creations. I hope the spirit accompanies you as you view it, too.

Let us get this straight.

The missionaries visit a family. They explain The Gospel to them.

If the family accept The Gospel, they have taken a big step towards a happy eternity in the Celestial Kingdom. They just have this one chance ...

But if the missionaries have recently masturbated, the LDS deity fixes it so the family does not accept the Gospel, and loses their chance of the Celestial Kingdom. And yet IT IS NO FAULT OF THE FAMILY - IT IS THE LDS DEITY'S WAY OF SHOWING THE MISSIONARY THAT HE DOES NOT LIKE MASTURBATION!

Please explain where I have got this wrong.

[_Droopy]

Another very good indication that this board is in need of parental supervision.

[_Chap]

Another very good indication that this board is in need of parental supervision.

You mean we shouldn't talk about masturbation because we are not Mission Presidents?

But people like that explicitly state that the LDS deity does not allow the missionaries to convert people because the missionaries masturbate. They are the ones who make it an open issue. Do you think your deity really works that way?

If not, why are missionaries told that he does?

[_Dr. Shades]

But if the missionaries have recently masturbated, the LDS deity fixes it so the family does not accept the Gospel, and loses their chance of the Celestial Kingdom. And yet IT IS NO FAULT OF THE FAMILY - IT IS THE LDS DEITY'S WAY OF SHOWING THE MISSIONARY THAT HE DOES NOT LIKE MASTURBATION!

Please explain where I have got this wrong.

It's a little more extensive than that. According to everything that's drilled into the missionaries' heads, ANY form of disobedience--not only masturbation, but even things as trivial as waking up too late in the morning--are reasons that the Lord will refrain from blessing the missionaries with people who are ready to hear the gospel.

Yeah, it's almost like the Lord is looking for any excuse for people to NOT hear the gospel.

[_KimberlyAnn]

Mormons believe that God used Joseph Smith as a Prophet, even though Smith had sex with other men's wives, broke his own wife's heart repeatedly, lied publicly about polygamy, wrongfully maligned Martha Brotherton, and was involved with a banking scandal--yet Mormons also believe God cannot spread the "gospel" using nineteen year old boys who masturbate because they're "unworthy."

Makes no sense to me.

KA

[_KimberlyAnn]

Are LDS missionaries supposed to be proselyting at neighborhood swimming pools?

A pair showed up at our private neighborhood pool this afternoon while I was there getting a little sun. I know they aren't allowed to swim, though it was clear these boys weren't there for that purpose. They were in their white shirts and badges.

I was lying next to some very cute girls, and the missionaries approached the fence surrounding the pool and just stood there taking in the scene. They didn't say a word, but I propped myself up on my elbows and shot them an annoyed look. They waved, hopped on their bikes and rode away.

It was weird. I wondered if they were considering spreading their Mormon message right there at the pool. Girls in swimsuits need the gospel, too, I suppose.

KA

[_Jason Bourne]

http://www.whymormons.net/2008/05/missionary-masturbation.html

This motivational poster has to be one of my favorite creations. I hope the spirit accompanies you as you view it, too.

You really seem hung up about this. Why is that?

[_Jason Bourne]

Are LDS missionaries supposed to be proselyting at neighborhood swimming pools?

A pair showed up at our private neighborhood pool this afternoon while I was there getting a little sun. I know they aren't allowed to swim, though it was clear these boys weren't there for that purpose. They were in their white shirts and badges.

I was lying next to some very cute girls, and the missionaries approached the fence surrounding the pool and just stood there taking in the scene. They didn't say a word, but I propped myself up on my elbows and shot them an annoyed look. They waved, hopped on their bikes and rode away.

It was weird. I wondered if they were considering spreading their Mormon message right there at the pool. Girls in swimsuits need the gospel, too, I suppose.

KA

I imagine they were enjoying the scenery. And you spoiled their fun! Meany! :-)