Douce Bag President To Meet Cult Mormon Leader

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_Infymus
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Douce Bag President To Meet Cult Mormon Leader

Post by _Infymus »

Downtown SLC is a mess today. Men in black everywhere. Cops on every corner.

Idiot Bush is here today campaigning for Bush Little, er, McCain.

Tommy Monson is busy up on the top floor of the COB trying his best to get his comb-over in place. He isn't as arrogant as the Hinkster was, so I can imagine a cold clammy hand shake. Yesterday he got patted down and wanded before he could get onto Air Force One. I mean, comon secret service- don't you know this Mormon is the prophet of God over the entire earth? Can't you see his Celestial Glow? How dare you stick that wand between his legs.

I find it entertaining that local radio and TV is being extra careful to say "George Bush is meeting with THE CHURCH OF Jesus Christ OF LATTER DAY SAINTS"... Comon, they are the F*****G Mormons. Just say it: MORRRRRRRRMOOOONNSSSSSSS. Yep, those cooky, arm to the square, garment wearing, celestial polygamist F*****G Mormons. 'Course the Cult doesn't want anyone to know that they are Mormons because, well, don't confuse us with those OTHER Mormons.

So it's a beautiful morning as I drive past the Cult HQ and I'm stopped at the light. Cult security is everywhere. You can easily tell them apart from the secret service guys. So I'm sitting there in my convertible and this Cult security guy is just staring at me. So I flip the guy off and mouth "F*** YOU". He grimaces at me and looks away. Idiot rent-a-cops at the Cult.... "Here come the men in black..."

Just a few more hours and idiot Bush will be out of here and Idiot Monson can loosen his tie, and we can go back to normal.
_the road to hana
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Re: Douce Bag President To Meet Cult Mormon Leader

Post by _the road to hana »

Infymus wrote:Downtown SLC is a mess today. Men in black everywhere. Cops on every corner. . .

Just a few more hours and idiot Bush will be out of here and Idiot Monson can loosen his tie, and we can go back to normal.


What's up with Julie Beck being one of the people to greet him at the airport?

What do you think the leader of the free world and the heads of a corporate religious empire talk about when they get together? "Hey, how's that genealogy going?"

My guess is it goes something like this:

"Sorry about Gordon Hinckley. He was a good guy."

(inaudible)

"We really appreciate you guys doing your part to keep Utah Republican."

(inaudible)

"Yeah, Laura's fine. The girls are fine. Thanks for asking. Yeah, it was a nice wedding. Jenna's happy. Henry's a great guy."

(inaudible)

"Well, you guys keep up the good work. Book of Mormon? No thanks, I think I've got one somewhere already."

(inaudible)

"Yeah, well I've gotta go. Thanks for the swell stuff. See ya."
The road is beautiful, treacherous, and full of twists and turns.
_Infymus
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Post by _Infymus »

Julie Becky-Home-Ecky needs to know her place. Get back in the home with her children. How dare she go out where the MEN are.
_The Nehor
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Re: Douce Bag President To Meet Cult Mormon Leader

Post by _The Nehor »

Infymus wrote:So it's a beautiful morning as I drive past the Cult HQ and I'm stopped at the light. Cult security is everywhere. You can easily tell them apart from the secret service guys. So I'm sitting there in my convertible and this Cult security guy is just staring at me. So I flip the guy off and mouth "F**K YOU". He grimaces at me and looks away. Idiot rent-a-cops at the Cult.... "Here come the men in black..."


Yes, they're the idiots. Not the moron making obscene gestures at people on the street. Most people grow out of that in High School.
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics
"I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
_LifeOnaPlate
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Post by _LifeOnaPlate »

Douce Bag? Going for that alternative spelling, I see.
One moment in annihilation's waste,
one moment, of the well of life to taste-
The stars are setting and the caravan
starts for the dawn of nothing; Oh, make haste!

-Omar Khayaam

*Be on the lookout for the forthcoming album from Jiminy Finn and the Moneydiggers.*
_Scottie
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Re: Douce Bag President To Meet Cult Mormon Leader

Post by _Scottie »

The Nehor wrote:
Infymus wrote:So it's a beautiful morning as I drive past the Cult HQ and I'm stopped at the light. Cult security is everywhere. You can easily tell them apart from the secret service guys. So I'm sitting there in my convertible and this Cult security guy is just staring at me. So I flip the guy off and mouth "F*** YOU". He grimaces at me and looks away. Idiot rent-a-cops at the Cult.... "Here come the men in black..."


Yes, they're the idiots. Not the moron making obscene gestures at people on the street. Most people grow out of that in High School.


HA...We knew you couldn't stay away!

I have to agree. Infy is kind of a putz.

Slow, deep breaths. Go to your happy place.
If there's one thing I've learned from this board, it's that consensual sex with multiple partners is okay unless God commands it. - Abman

I find this place to be hostile toward all brands of stupidity. That's why I like it. - Some Schmo
_the road to hana
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Post by _the road to hana »

LifeOnaPlate wrote:Douce Bag? Going for that alternative spelling, I see.


It's like a combination of deuce and douche and dood. The dood is a douche, but he's deuces.
The road is beautiful, treacherous, and full of twists and turns.
_The Nehor
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Re: Douce Bag President To Meet Cult Mormon Leader

Post by _The Nehor »

Scottie wrote:
The Nehor wrote:
Infymus wrote:So it's a beautiful morning as I drive past the Cult HQ and I'm stopped at the light. Cult security is everywhere. You can easily tell them apart from the secret service guys. So I'm sitting there in my convertible and this Cult security guy is just staring at me. So I flip the guy off and mouth "F**K YOU". He grimaces at me and looks away. Idiot rent-a-cops at the Cult.... "Here come the men in black..."


Yes, they're the idiots. Not the moron making obscene gestures at people on the street. Most people grow out of that in High School.


HA...We knew you couldn't stay away!

I have to agree. Infy is kind of a putz.

Slow, deep breaths. Go to your happy place.


I consider it a mental failing of mine. I just needed a break. I was becoming a jerk.
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics
"I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
_Scottie
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Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2007 9:54 pm

Re: Douce Bag President To Meet Cult Mormon Leader

Post by _Scottie »

The Nehor wrote:
Scottie wrote:HA...We knew you couldn't stay away!


I consider it a mental failing of mine. I just needed a break. I was becoming a jerk.


I would recommend getting laid...
Last edited by Guest on Thu May 29, 2008 3:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
If there's one thing I've learned from this board, it's that consensual sex with multiple partners is okay unless God commands it. - Abman

I find this place to be hostile toward all brands of stupidity. That's why I like it. - Some Schmo
_The Nehor
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Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2007 2:05 am

Re: Douce Bag President To Meet Cult Mormon Leader

Post by _The Nehor »

Scottie wrote:I would recommend getting laid...


Will do.
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics
"I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
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