"I know you still have a testimony!"

[Guest]

Several of my Mormon neighbors and family members believe that because I continue doing some things I once did as a Mormon that I still have a testimony. My next door neighbor tells me, usually tearfully, that she knows I still have a testimony and she tells me so almost monthly. Regrettably, I have not found a way to convince her otherwise. Oddly, this is the same neighbor who once told me my house was covered in a black shroud of evil and she couldn't stand to look at it.

One of the things that has my neighbor convinced I have a testimony is that I still follow the "commandment" to grow a garden.

When I was a little girl, I sang this song:

The prophet said to plant a garden, so that’s what we’ll do.
For God has given rich brown soil, the rain and sunshine too.
And if we plant the seeds just right and tend them carefully,
Before we know, good things will grow to feed our family.

We’ll plant the seeds to fill our needs, then plant a few to spare,
And show we love our neighbors with the harvest that we share.
Oh, won’t you plant a garden, too, and share the many joys
A garden brings in health and love to happy girls and boys!

For as long as I've had my own home, I've had a garden. Now that I no longer grow vegetables because I am commanded to do so, I enjoy it even more! I also love sharing the things I grow with my neighbors. That doesn't mean I still have a testimony of Mormonism.

I still can salsa. I canned nineteen quarts this evening, though I'll have to wait 'till the end of summer to do it using my own tomatoes. I'll take some of what I made this evening to my neighbor tomorrow, and to my grandma on Monday and give them one more reason to assume I still believe, deep down inside, that the church is true.

The last time my neighbor tearfully told me that she knew I still had a testimony was a few weeks ago. I was pushing her young son and my young daughter down the sidewalk in my wheelbarrow. They love that. She approached me as I neared her driveway and said, "I can tell you still have the Light of Christ inside you. I know you'll come back one day." I didn't know how to respond, so I just mumbled, "I like pushing the kids--it's a lot of fun."

What mildly offends me about the whole issue is that my Mormon family seems to associate any goodness in me, or my apostate family, with a remaining testimony of Mormonism, as if that were the only thing that would cause us to be decent human beings.

Surely, I'm not the only ex-Mormon who deals with such comments. I need a good comeback to the line, "I know you still have a testimony!" I don't want to be rude or hurt anyone's feelings, because I care about these folks, but I'd sure like to say something effective, unlike the mumblings I usually utter.

Maybe I should just say, tearfully and with that testimony voice, "No, I do not still have a testimony. I say this in the name of myself. Amen."

KA

[_bcspace]

I think you still have a testimony simply because you can't leave it alone.

[_skippy the dead]

I think you still have a testimony simply because you can't leave it alone.

You are SO right.

*eyeroll*

[_bcspace]

I think you still have a testimony simply because you can't leave it alone.

You are SO right.

;)

[_moksha]

And you remember the cupcake lessons so well. ;-)

[_skippy the dead]

<snip>

The last time my neighbor tearfully told me that she knew I still had a testimony was a few weeks ago. I was pushing her young son and my young daughter down the sidewalk in my wheelbarrow. They love that. She approached me as I neared her driveway and said, "I can tell you still have the Light of Christ inside you. I know you'll come back one day." I didn't know how to respond, so I just mumbled, "I like pushing the kids--it's a lot of fun."

<snip>

Surely, I'm not the only ex-Mormon who deals with such comments. I need a good comeback to the line, "I know you still have a testimony!" I don't want to be rude or hurt anyone's feelings, because I care about these folks, but I'd sure like to say something effective, unlike the mumblings I usually utter.

Maybe I should just say, tearfully and with that testimony voice, "No, I do not still have a testimony. I say this in the name of myself. Amen."

KA

That's gotta be frustrating. I suppose "No chance in hell" would be too harsh. Have you tried simply saying "I really don't" or "That's simply not going to happen"? Or how about telling her that her insistence on making those statements makes it appear as though she considers you to be defective otherwise, rather than allowing you to fulfill your conscience under the 11th AoF.

[_Runtu]

That's gotta be frustrating. I suppose "No chance in hell" would be too harsh. Have you tried simply saying "I really don't" or "That's simply not going to happen"? Or how about telling her that her insistence on making those statements makes it appear as though she considers you to be defective otherwise, rather than allowing you to fulfill your conscience under the 11th AoF.

I get that a lot, too. People tell me that I'm different, I really did have spiritual experiences that proved to me the church is true. It's just a matter of time before I humble myself enough to admit what I know.

Part of me thinks these people mean well, but then you get the crap like the neighbor saying your house has a dark presence. That's just ridiculous.

[_CaliforniaKid]

You have my sympathy, KA. Some people will just never quite get it. At the end of the day I guess we just have to shrug it off and go on with our lives.

On a similar note, ever since I started suggesting that maybe gays should have the right to be married, almost all of my friends and family have asked whether I am turning gay (or strongly implied that they think I am). In these people's minds, it is simply unimaginable that a heterosexual would stand up for the rights of those dirty gays. These patterns of thinking are so deeply ingrained that it would take a professional deprogrammer to root them out.

[_skippy the dead]

I get that a lot, too. People tell me that I'm different, I really did have spiritual experiences that proved to me the church is true. It's just a matter of time before I humble myself enough to admit what I know.

Part of me thinks these people mean well, but then you get the crap like the neighbor saying your house has a dark presence. That's just ridiculous.

I've actually been mainly fortunate - I don't socialize with any LDS, and haven't for years and years, so I don't get this ever. My mom right now is just so relieved that I'm agnostic and not Catholic (true story) that she's kind of laid off for a while.

[_Dr. Shades]

I need a good comeback to the line, "I know you still have a testimony!" I don't want to be rude or hurt anyone's feelings, because I care about these folks, but I'd sure like to say something effective, unlike the mumblings I usually utter.

The solution is simple. Next time, say, "Oh really? Then why don't you come join me on http://www.MormonDiscussions.com and talk about it with us."