Alternate methods to raise money for mopolegetics?????

[_evolving]

Gather all of the material produced by FARMS & Fair and sell the copyright in Canada.. You don’t even need to call it a sourced revelation. Just put “HeartSell” on the campaign… the French love that sappy stuff..

Start an internet bank akin to paypal – “The Mormon Safety Society” or “anti-PayPal-company” whatever… just inform the Mormons they can use it from anywhere, and the proceeds are going to a good cause. You can demonstrate stability by showing potential customers pictures of the vault with boxes and boxes of gold pieces.. Of course they are just boxes of rocks with a thin layer of gold coins photo-shopped on top..

Install VTM’s in every chapel – “Virtual Tithing Machines” set up a kiosk that only connects to the “The Mormon Safety Society” web site. Inform all members that previous to recommend interviews, or tithing settlement, they can declare a “Full” tithe by filling out a simple form, state their income, and select billing methods. Imagine this, the Church can use the tithing funds as it always has (whatever that is), and use the $$interest$$ paid for mopolegetics..

I have heard rumors about a home in Boston, where a glorious treasure is buried in the basement. The best part is you never need to find the actual treasure; the church can sell shares like pre-IPO stock, and solicit funds for the expedition. It worked once, it just might work again.

Buy some super-cheap land in somewhere South-America, draft a press release calling it ZION or Zarahelmla or whatever - sell it to the members chunk by chunk at a 1000% premium, you of course will need to eventually drain the swampy areas and clean up the malaria, but it sounds like a gold mine..

Start a Mormon micro-brewery in the new downtown mega-mall -- have an apostle release the modern enhanced definition of D&C 89:17 “…and barley for all useful animals, and for mild drinks, as also other grain.” – create a series of custom “Mormon Mild” beers and sell them for at-least 10% more than any other beer.. Those crazy Mormons would flood to the new mall, you could increase traffic, charge more for retail space, and again, use the proceeds to develop additional plausible reasons for members to stay once “Shaken’ Testimony Syndrome” has reared it’s ugly head.

Re-design one of the sealing rooms in every temple with a “Magic Hat” room. Allow members who pay 15% tithe access to this “Magic Hat” room. Set up a line of hats that contain seer-stones, allow members to peer into one until they “receive” something, and swear them to the ultimate secrecy, bound by new oaths and such.. in a single move you would increase the number of recommends, temple attendance, and “special testimonial reasons” for members to stay active once they find out the Book of Abraham was not actually written by Abraham himself..

[_moksha]

You could start a piggy-bank brigade at MAD. Call it "Pennys for Pahoran". It should be a big hit.

[_The Nehor]

These seem complicated when we can just have the Danites mug antis instead.

[_Boaz & Lidia]

Or the jerk offs who love to circle jerk their posts on MA&D could collect their semen and sell it to LDS couples as LDS Inc needs to raise up more righteous children. Offer a free turkey blaster with each order.

[_Trevor]

Or the jerk offs who love to circle jerk their posts on MA&D could collect their semen and sell it to LDS couples as LDS Inc needs to raise up more righteous children. Offer a free turkey blaster with each order.

Geez man. Nice way to take it to the Telestial.

[_Boaz & Lidia]

Or the jerk offs who love to circle jerk their posts on MA&D could collect their semen and sell it to LDS couples as LDS Inc needs to raise up more righteous children. Offer a free turkey blaster with each order.

Geez man. Nice way to take it to the Telestial.

Oh and Nehor's suggestion of murdering the opposition is any better?

[_The Nehor]

Or the jerk offs who love to circle jerk their posts on MA&D could collect their semen and sell it to LDS couples as LDS Inc needs to raise up more righteous children. Offer a free turkey blaster with each order.

Geez man. Nice way to take it to the Telestial.

Oh and Nehor's suggestion of murdering the opposition is any better?

You must live in a rough area if you equate a mugging with murder.