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Top Ten Things Mormons and Ex-Mormons Can Agree On

Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 8:21 pm
by _Runtu
10. If you're going to put cologne on, at least wash your hands before breaking the sacrament bread.
9. That guy who played Joseph Smith in "Legacy" was really bad.
8. Your kids shouldn't be bearing their testimony if you have to whisper it in their ears.
7. Pioneer chapels and tabernacles are usually quite beautiful and inspiring.
6. Ed Decker is a dork.
5. The world would be a better place without Living Scriptures, Melaleuca, Arbonne, and Noni Juice.
4. There will never be any conclusive evidence for the Book of Mormon other than a testimony.
3. Richard G. Scott should stop his deliberate staring into the conference cameras. Whatever effect he's going for isn't working.
2. Articles of Faith 11.
1. Tom Trails rocks!

Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 9:09 pm
by _Dr. Shades
Mind if I keep going?

11. Joseph Smith couldn't translate Egyptian in the conventional way.
12. Katherine the Great is cool.

Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 9:36 pm
by _KimberlyAnn
I love your top ten lists, John!

Remember when we used to write them on RfM all the time?

I think I liked our LDS Valentine's Gift list best. Also, your Top Ten Christmas Gifts for Mormons was riotously funny!

I'll add a few to this list.

13. That brown prickly burlap stuff on the chapel walls is weird.
14. The gooey casserole that appears at every Ward Potluck (the one that has tater tots floating on top) is gross.
15. The harder one tries not to think about sex during church the more difficult it is not to.

KA

Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 9:49 pm
by _Runtu
KimberlyAnn wrote:I love your top ten lists, John!

Remember when we used to write them on RfM all the time?

I think I liked our LDS Valentine's Gift list best. Also, your Top Ten Christmas Gifts for Mormons was riotously funny!

I'll add a few to this list.

13. That brown prickly burlap stuff on the chapel walls is weird.
14. The gooey casserole that appears at every Ward Potluck (the one that has tater tots floating on top) is gross.
15. The harder one tries not to think about sex during church the more difficult it is not to.

KA


Where have you been, KA? I haven't been able to reach you at all. :(

Yeah, we used to have a lot of fun over there. I still post off and on at RfM.

Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 10:23 pm
by _moksha
Dr. Shades wrote:12. Katherine the Great is cool.


16. It would be Great if she posted here.

Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 12:21 am
by _TrashcanMan79
17. J. Golden Kimball would be a hoot and a holler to have a [root] beer with.

Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 12:29 am
by _karl61
.25 We both want to know what Orson Hyde really thinks about Joseph Smith.

Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 1:27 am
by _SatanWasSetUp
LDS Prophets are just guys with opinions.

Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 1:36 am
by _KimberlyAnn
Runtu wrote:
KimberlyAnn wrote:I love your top ten lists, John!

Remember when we used to write them on RfM all the time?

I think I liked our LDS Valentine's Gift list best. Also, your Top Ten Christmas Gifts for Mormons was riotously funny!

I'll add a few to this list.

13. That brown prickly burlap stuff on the chapel walls is weird.
14. The gooey casserole that appears at every Ward Potluck (the one that has tater tots floating on top) is gross.
15. The harder one tries not to think about sex during church the more difficult it is not to.

KA


Where have you been, KA? I haven't been able to reach you at all. :(

Yeah, we used to have a lot of fun over there. I still post off and on at RfM.


I returned an email from you about a week ago, John--I haven't seen another. I always return your messages. I like getting them. :)

In fact, I'll send you a message right now! Check your PM's.

KA

Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 4:02 am
by _Maxrep
KimberlyAnn wrote:13. That brown prickly burlap stuff on the chapel walls is weird.


KA


I think that "hemp canvas" you speak of, is designed to discourage children from running their dirty hands across the wall or sticking their face direclty to the wall and doing a "blowfish" impression! Ha ha.

Kimbirley - you think about sex during the 3 hour block?



26. Peepstoning for burried treasure is not considered respectable employment.