Is being a Mormon a good thing or ....

[_Sleepwalker]

Is being a Mormon a good thing or I just joined one day and I chikcen out to say NO to people who think that I am a good person? I really wonder about that. I am a convert and has been in Church for a while but I wonder if it is good for me. I feel like there were times when it made me a good person but now I think it just makes me bitter and bitchy. Just a thought

[_Scottie]

[Mod Note: I see no reason this shouldn't be in the Terrestrial. You will get a lot more feedback there.]

[_Sleepwalker]

[Mod Note: I see no reason this shouldn't be in the Terrestrial. You will get a lot more feedback there.]

lol, you can tell I am new here - I am still figuring out how this thing works :-) Appreciate the comment

[_Scottie]

Is being a Mormon a good thing or I just joined one day and I chikcen out to say NO to people who think that I am a good person? I really wonder about that. I am a convert and has been in Church for a while but I wonder if it is good for me. I feel like there were times when it made me a good person but now I think it just makes me bitter and bitchy. Just a thought

As for being in the church, it is not for everyone.

Many people have found the church a source of strength and structure, as well as a fundamental social network. Without the church, they would be absolutely lost. For these individuals, the church is an amazing help to them throughout their life.

Now me, on the other hand, I was pretty miserable in church. I hated the callings, felt overly-guilty for things that I shouldn't have, hated the labels that were placed on people, hated how inactive and non-members were treated, etc. I am much happier outside of the church. Now, that's not to say that it wasn't a difficult transition. It was.

I know that the members around you would have you believe that being in the church is the ONLY path to happiness. You know, the old adage that people outside the church may think they are happy, but you can only be TRULY happy in the church. That is unequivocally false. Many of us are absolutely happier outside of the church.

It's a decision that only you can make.

[_Sleepwalker]

As for being in the church, it is not for everyone.

Many people have found the church a source of strength and structure, as well as a fundamental social network. Without the church, they would be absolutely lost. For these individuals, the church is an amazing help to them throughout their life.

Now me, on the other hand, I was pretty miserable in church. I hated the callings, felt overly-guilty for things that I shouldn't have, hated the labels that were placed on people, hated how inactive and non-members were treated, etc. I am much happier outside of the church. Now, that's not to say that it wasn't a difficult transition. It was.

I know that the members around you would have you believe that being in the church is the ONLY path to happiness. You know, the old adage that people outside the church may think they are happy, but you can only be TRULY happy in the church. That is unequivocally false. Many of us are absolutely happier outside of the church.

It's a decision that only you can make.

That's how I felt when I joined: it was like a social club for me, I liked the people, everything was new and seemed interesting, but now it gets too annoying: first they give you a calling or ask for a favor and then they blame you for unwillingness to do that! But what is I JUST DON'T WANT TO! oh, no, it is not acceptable.

I know it is going to be just my personal desicion to make about whether I want to keep doing that or not. But making right decisions is sooo freaking difficult! And how do you know if it is the right one or not? Do you have to wait till you die and then you'll know? That doesn't seem to promicing to me.

[_Yoda]

That's how I felt when I joined: it was like a social club for me, I liked the people, everything was new and seemed interesting, but now it gets too annoying: first they give you a calling or ask for a favor and then they blame you for unwillingness to do that! But what is I JUST DON'T WANT TO! oh, no, it is not acceptable.

First of all, welcome to the board! :)

It is possible to strike a balance, and be "in the Church, not of it", if you're not sure about leaving. In my Ward, the Bishop is very aware of what callings I will accept and what I won't. And "No" is NOT a bad word. DO NOT feel guilty about it in the least.

It all comes down to family commitments first, for me. If what someone in the Church is asking me to do isn't going to correlate well with my family schedule, and the balance of my time for work, etc., I turn them down.

[_Sleepwalker]

That's how I felt when I joined: it was like a social club for me, I liked the people, everything was new and seemed interesting, but now it gets too annoying: first they give you a calling or ask for a favor and then they blame you for unwillingness to do that! But what is I JUST DON'T WANT TO! oh, no, it is not acceptable.

First of all, welcome to the board! :)

It is possible to strike a balance, and be "in the Church, not of it", if you're not sure about leaving. In my Ward, the Bishop is very aware of what callings I will accept and what I won't. And "No" is NOT a bad word. DO NOT feel guilty about it in the least.

It all comes down to family commitments first, for me. If what someone in the Church is asking me to do isn't going to correlate well with my family schedule, and the balance of my time for work, etc., I turn them down.

Thank you for a warm welcome. I understand that I need to learn to say NO to people, which has always been hard for me. I need to try though. Telling lies is even worse than saying NO, I guess, but that's what I have to do till I learn to say No

[_Yoda]

Telling lies is even worse than saying NO, I guess, but that's what I have to do till I learn to say No

You know what, though? You're honestly not lying if you tell someone you can't do something because it conflicts with family commitments. Even if those commitments involve personal scheduling of yours, it is still going to impact your family in a negative way.

Also, don't feel that you have to go into detail about why you are turning something down. If the bishop or someone pushes, you simply state that due to family commitments, this isn't going to work for me right now. If he probes more, tell him you would rather not discuss it. Period. In other words, it's none of his damned business. ;)

[_Sleepwalker]

Telling lies is even worse than saying NO, I guess, but that's what I have to do till I learn to say No

You know what, though? You're honestly not lying if you tell someone you can't do something because it conflicts with family commitments. Even if those commitments involve personal scheduling of yours, it is still going to impact your family in a negative way.

Also, don't feel that you have to go into detail about why you are turning something down. If the bishop or someone pushes, you simply state that due to family commitments, this isn't going to work for me right now. If he probes more, tell him you would rather not discuss it. Period. In other words, it's none of his damned business. ;)

Thanks! Sounds great! Can I have you in my pocket next time they offer me a calling? LOL

[_Yoda]

Thanks! Sounds great! Can I have you in my pocket next time they offer me a calling? LOL

Sure! LOL

Hey, I know it takes time to do this....baby steps...and if you do need to fib once in a while to get out of something, that's OK. I'm basically just giving you permission to fib by having you look at the larger picture. ;)