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Today's Lesson: Jesus lights the Sun moon and stars

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:00 am
by _Home Teacher
Good afternoon brothers and sisters. It is a new month and I am here to teach you a new lesson.

Last month I gave a lesson for the sweet sisters. This month I decided to speak to the Young Men, therefore I perused the current Aaronic priesthood manual for some interesting topics. I would like to touch on a couple things that the Young men might find interesting.

1) Jesus is the light source for the sun, Moon, and stars.

Yes it is true, direct from the manual itself, Aaronic Priesthood Manual 3, Lesson 13.

1. Jesus Christ is the light of the sun, moon, and stars.

• What does Doctrine and Covenants 88:7–10 say about the light of the sun, moon, and stars?

Explain that although we do not understand how, we know that Jesus is the source of the light of the sun, moon, and stars.


This is very exciting doctrine, as I know you young men are probably very interested in space and stuff. I always wondered why the Sun, Moon, and Stars are so shiny and bright. Until I joined the church this was a mystery to me. Now that I have the gospel I know this plain and precious truth. They get their light from Jesus.

Now, you are probably wondering about Venus and Mars and Jupiter, where do they get their light? We are not sure how they get their light, the prophets have not spoken on that, and I dare not speculate.

2) There is something else very interesting that you young men should know, once you become a priest, your enemies will be struck dead. This interesting little tidbit comes from the same Aaronic Priesthood manual, Lesson 22: Duties of a Priest. This little story about Wilford Woodruff when he was a priest really hit home for me, I especially like the bolded parts. If I was in your home, I would let you take turns reading sentences in this story, but since we're not, you can all just read it to yourselves:

Story
President Wilford Woodruff experienced the ministering of angels when he was doing missionary work as a priest and was impressed to warn a formerly active Church member named Father Hakeman to repent and become active again.

“I was once moved upon to go and warn old Father Hakeman. … He had been in Jackson County during the persecution period. … We went a good deal out of our way for the purpose of visiting Father Hakeman. I had a vision the night previous, in which was manifested to me the trouble that lay before us, but that the Lord would deliver us. We arrived at his house on Sunday morning. He was taking breakfast. We had had breakfast at the place where we stayed overnight. I saw a Book of Mormon on his shelf. He did not seem to pay any attention to us, or to take any interest in us. I took up the Book of Mormon, and said, ‘You have a very good book here.’

“ ‘Yes,’ said he, ‘but it is a book that came from the devil.’

“That opened my eyes. He had been an elder; he had been in Zion; had been persecuted there and driven out; but I found that he had apostatized, and he was our enemy. I saw he would do anything he could against us.

“We left him and went to Brother Hubbard’s and stayed with him three weeks, during which we took our axes and cleared some land for him. I was strongly impressed three times to go up and warn Father Hakeman. At last I did so, according to the commandment of God to me. The third time I met with him, his house seemed to be full of evil spirits, and I was troubled in spirit at the manifestation. When I finished my warning, I left him. He followed me from his house with the intention of killing me. I have no doubt about his intention, for it was shown to me in vision. When he came to where I was, he fell dead at my feet, as if he had been struck with a thunderbolt from heaven. I was then a priest, but God defended me and preserved my life. I speak of this because it is a principle that has been manifest in the church of God in this generation as well as in others. I had the administration of angels while holding the office of a priest. I had visions and revelations. I traveled thousand of miles. I baptized men, though I could not confirm them because I had not the authority to do it.

“I speak of these things to show that a man should not be ashamed of any portion of the priesthood. Our young men, if they are deacons, should labor to fulfil that office. If they do that, they may then be called to the office of a teacher, whose duty it is to teach the people, visit the Saints and see that there is no evil or iniquity carried on. God has no respect for persons in this priesthood any further than as they magnify their callings and do their duty” (Discourses of Wilford Woodruff, sel. G. Homer Durham [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1946], pp. 297–98).


So you see, if you are a faithful priest, and you preach the gospel, if anyone comes at you to kill you they will be struck dead by the power of god. I hope you young men understand that this is really awesome stuff.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Re: Today's Lesson: Jesus lights the Sun moon and stars

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:19 am
by _Sethbag
Home Teacher wrote:Now, you are probably wondering about Venus and Mars and Jupiter, where do they get their light? We are not sure how they get their light, the prophets have not spoken on that, and I dare not speculate.


It's pretty obvious that these planets get their light by reflecting back at us light that originally came from the Sun. And since the Sun's light comes from Jesus, it's literally true that, in a way not nearly as dumb as this one, Uranus really does testify of Christ.

Re: Today's Lesson: Jesus lights the Sun moon and stars

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:24 am
by _Boaz & Lidia
Sethbag wrote:
Home Teacher wrote:Now, you are probably wondering about Venus and Mars and Jupiter, where do they get their light? We are not sure how they get their light, the prophets have not spoken on that, and I dare not speculate.


It's pretty obvious that these planets get their light by reflecting back at us light that originally came from the Sun. And since the Sun's light comes from Jesus, it's literally true that, in a way not nearly as dumb as this one, Uranus really does testify of Christ.
I do not want to see this man's anus:

Image

Re: Today's Lesson: Jesus lights the Sun moon and stars

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:44 am
by _EAllusion
The very existence of this article is a testimony against humanity. It is one of the stupidest things I've ever read. But then I readthis and forgot all about it.

Re: Today's Lesson: Jesus lights the Sun moon and stars

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:49 am
by _moksha
Sethbag wrote: Uranus really does testify of Christ.


Maybe your's does but mine takes it with a leap of faith!

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:57 am
by _EAllusion
Then there'sthis. Andthis. And this.

...

Oh man.

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 2:33 am
by _Blixa
EAllusion wrote:
The very existence of this article is a testimony against humanity. It is one of the stupidest things I've ever read. But then I readthis and forgot all about it.


Oh, but I love Brother Pratt.

Seriously. I do.

Granted, his mathmatical/statistical/calendrical/astronomical/astrological fetishization is nutso, but that's what's so wonderful about it! He seems to catch both the fervor and the flavor of early Mormonism, a syncretic eccentric not unlike his esteemed progenitors, the brothers Pratt.

"Uranus Testifies of Christ" is one of the great masterworks of obsessional mania. Like Halley's comet, eccentric jibber-jabber of that magnitude comes but once a lifetime. I doubt we will ever see its ilk again, no matter how diligently we scour Meridian, MAAD, FAIR, FARMS and other such fertile fields.

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 2:34 am
by _bcspace
Yes it is true, direct from the manual itself, Aaronic Priesthood Manual 3, Lesson 13


Wrong chapter.

What does Doctrine and Covenants 88:7–10 say about the light of the sun, moon, and stars?


I am figuratively in any work I create.

Explain that although we do not understand how, we know that Jesus is the source of the light of the sun, moon, and stars


It is true we do not understand the details of the creation. However, that gravity is the source of a star's light does not conflict with these statements.

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 2:56 am
by _Chap
bcspace wrote:
Yes it is true, direct from the manual itself, Aaronic Priesthood Manual 3, Lesson 13


Wrong chapter.

What does Doctrine and Covenants 88:7–10 say about the light of the sun, moon, and stars?


I am figuratively in any work I create.

Explain that although we do not understand how, we know that Jesus is the source of the light of the sun, moon, and stars


It is true we do not understand the details of the creation. However, that gravity is the source of a star's light does not conflict with these statements.


By this logic, Jesus is in some sense the source of everything in the material world. If you want to make him the 'source' of the light of the sun, moon, and stars, then you will have to accept that to the same extent he is the 'source' of the smell inside a long unemptied trashcan on a hot summer's day.

That bacterial activity is the source of a trashcan's stink does not conflict with this statement.

Would Jesus like metaphysical 'compliments' of this kind, I wonder?

Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 2:58 am
by _bcspace
By this logic, Jesus is in some sense the source of everything in the material world. If you want to make him the 'source' of the light of the sun, moon, and stars, then you will have to accept that to the same extent he is the 'source' of the smell inside a long unemptied trashcan on a hot summer's day.

That bacterial activity is the source of a trashcan's stink does not conflict with this statement.

Would Jesus like metaphysical 'compliments' of this kind, I wonder?


Yes he would. D&C 59:21