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Twenty Years Later, an Old Chestnut gets the Review

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 2:42 am
by _Gadianton
The following is a "review" of FARMS Review of Books on the Book of Mormon Volume 1

Project "Creepy Dossier"

A desperate FARMS executive makes a phone call from his office to a colleague of unknown location.

"Doctor, we need to have a sit down."
"Yes, yes indeed."
"There are -- problems -- as you know."
"Yes, yes indeed."
"I'm in favor, the discussions regarding a more formalized review..."
"Yeess...?"
"We should proceed. Look, we need to take control. Now! do you understand?"
"Indeed. indeed!"

By the mid 1980s, the plethora of Church publications by lay church members, scholars, and officials alike was expanding exponentially. The critics had been just as busy. And for years, a glut in answers to perplexing gospel questions had loomed over the face of Mormondom. It was a free for all, one might say, but given the way Mormon personalities quickly rise to cult status, a free for all that could end one day with the wrong figures at the helm. In the view of those sitting at the apologetic roundtable, their own intellectual freedom and popularity as scholars, not to mention the reputation of the institutions they were inexorably linked to was up in the air.

In response to a situation growing more critical every day, the apologists would set the stage for an apologetic coup, where a small group of elite scholars would aim to control the entire intellectual and doctrinal life of the Church. Their product, the reviews of books they'd churn out, would keep tabs on all those with something to say about Mormonism. They'd create a repository of "creepy dossiers" so to speak and effectively establish their own clipping service. The creation of the SCMC years later surely was inspired by the preliminary dossier work done by the apologists in the late 80s. The review would focus on combating the greatest dangers of the year to the apologetic agenda. In year one, the greatest threats were from within the ranks of the *belligerents* and not from the enemy camps of the critics. Today, we will examine the reviews of the two most dangerous books to the apologetic rise of power in the year of the birth of FROB. Books which threatened the popularity of the apologists with their Mormon audience and the viability of their general aspirations to fame and fortune..

Control geography and Ye Shall Dominate Doctrine with a Fist of Iron

The second most important review in this volume is Louis Midgley's angry dismissal of Joseph Fielding McConkie and Robert Millet's stately "Doctrinal Commentary on the Book of Mormon." The key charge was against the authors' Chapel Mormonism and its sometimes related call to be wary of "looking beyond the mark" by becoming too scholarly with the Book of Mormon's secondary issues such as geography. Tvedtness's later fury over not being quoted by all students of the Book of Mormon surely is representative of the general apologetic sentiment and in revenge, Midgley turns the tables on McConkie's and Millet's general skepticism toward historical scholarship.

Midgley makes a very creative and cunning argument against Chapel Mormonism and one can only speculate as to the magnitude of the Adversary's gleeful reaction over this highly original and sly proposal. He argues that folks like McConkie and "revisionists" such as Mike Quinn are two sides of the same coin. By arguing that geography and historical evidence doesn't matter, it sets the stage for advancing the argument that the Book of Mormon can be true even if Joseph just made it up. Therefore, Midgley undercuts at once the idea that plain and precious truths can ever exist let alone be known by human minds as he ties "doctrine" to

Midgley wrote:
Bushman wrote:...religion, an economy, a technology, a government, a geography, a sociology, all combined into a complete world.

FROB v.1 pg. 93 (paragraph 4 of his review)

This holistic, contextual, and contingent view of doctrine ensures that virtually no one in the church other than FARMS could ever tell us what doctrines are to be found in the Book of Mormon. Eventually, even the apostles and the prophets would have to bow to FARMS. Midgley claimed Hugh Nibley had made advances in this holistic approach, but apparently even he fell short as Midgley does not cite any examples whatsoever of true doctrines discovered through scholarly hermeneutics as opposed to the false "Mormon scholasticism" of McConkie and every LDS instructor's manual ever printed. We may have to wait a long time to hear the true doctrine from FARMS, so in the mean time, we'll be spending thousands of dollars on their books and bank-account-breaking tiered membership programs in order to prepare for the day when our education levels are advanced enough to understand the Good News that Jesus taught the people of Nephi.

The Sacred Parchment in Danger, the Iron Fist Turned to Clay

While McConkie's book was a clear threat to the ruse of the apologists, it was not the most significant threat of that year. As the apologists understood it, both the truthfulness as well as the truths of the Book of Mormon turned on geography. And the most sacred account of the Book of Mormon's geography, as many are aware, was none other than An Ancient American Setting of the Book of Mormon by John Sorenson. So holy it was that the apologists had strictly forbidden anyone to ever review it.* And in 1988, its position was threatened. In fact, I dare say that the FROB originated primarily in a hasty reaction to respond to this danger.

This threat, this stunning event I've been talking about on the board, was none other than the publication of what most here probably haven't even heard of, a book called, Deciphering the Geography of the Book of Mormon by F. Richard Hauck. Hauck was an Internet Mormon himself and an avid disciple of Sorenson and the LGT. So what could possibly be the problem? This will remain a matter for further research. But we do know a couple of things about FARMS and its "damage control" mode of operation. And I can tell you that in volume one of the Review, there are 18 books reviewed. Thirteen of those books get one or two sets of eyes and take up barely more than half the book. Five books by Nibley get five pages, for instance. And one book, one solitary book of the title aformentioned, gets three "thumbs down" reviews and takes up the rest of the space. Suffice it to say, John Clark provided the very long technical rejection and Bill Hamblin was brought in for the polemics.

According to Clark, Hauck's sin was to add unto and revise Sorenson's model too much. I mention only one infraction as it is representative of others but stood out from the overwhelming dryness of the debate, wetting my cheeks with tears of joyous laughter. Apparently, Hauck, in order to maintain his model, proposed the "Two Bountiful Theory". And in an irony only topped by Bill Hamblin which we shall review shortly, John Clark dismissed this proposition on the grounds of simplicity and prefered the singular Bountiful model by the authority of "Occam's Razor!"

Entire empires supposedly have split over whether a picture constitutes a graven image. But I think these trivial disputes are backed by far more serious problems. From what I can tell, the apologists are very cliquish, and Hauck had never been part of the "inner circle". Given the depth of his research, he could have gathered a significant following around him to quote his work more often than the output of FARMS. Everything was at stake, as geography controls both the truth and message of the Book of Mormon text and hence, all Mormon doctrine.

And this lone crusader, Hauck, had credentials. A Phd in archaeology for starters and his research was right in line with his Book of Mormon interests. Further, he engaged in extensive Book of Mormon field work, something almost none of the apologists could ever claim. I've provided an interesting link covering his work at the end of this article. Quite frankly, Hauck was more qualified than Sorenson, Clark, Gardner**, and all the others. After all the promotion of the Mesoamerican LGT and the center of control the apologists had won, for someone to end up owning it outside of the royal bloodline was unthinkable. He had to be stopped. And if Clark failed to convince us on logical grounds, Hamblin's theatrics might yet keep FARMS in business.

Professor Hamblin, a layman, could not have expected to add much to Clark's lengthy analysis but he could fuel the outrage. Most instructive about Hamblin's work as shown by Mister Scratch and others, are the first sentences of each of his paragraphs, so our primary consideration of Hamblin's review will be just that. Beginning with his opening paragraph and moving down:

"This is a seriously flawed book.."
"I feel there are several major problems..."
"A related problem..."
"Hauck also makes some grandiose..."
"Hauck's work is also flawed..."
"A dubious assumption..."
"...last sentence manifestly false..."
...

I think the reader quickly gets the idea, the well is so poisoned that she'll fall dead from asphyxiation before ever reaching the door to Deseret Book. But before I close my comments on Hamblin, I promised to mention Hamblin's now world-famous irony. In one place where Hauck makes an archaeological claim Hamblin doesn't think holds water, Hamblin challenges by retorting with a harrassing barrage of rhetorical questions,

Hamblin wrote:But who predicted it? Where is the modern location? What Book of Mormon site is referred to? Who conducted the archaeological dig? What professional journal published the findings? Who reviewed the findings?...

FROB v.1 pg. 72 (paragraph 4 of his review)

Let the tears of laughter flow once again my friends!

A Devious Plot Redeemed

Though the project of the apologists to keep the Book of Mormon in all its facets including the doctrines of the entire Church strictly under their control is quickly revealed, I still have to give this volume four out of five stars. After all, the plot was pulled off with incredible skill and in many places, serious argumentation. And the secondary consideration to produce a volume of reviews fulfilled a hungry and valid market nitch. But most notably, one can not help but hold back a feeling of sadness when considering Lavina Fielding Anderson, David P. Wright, Todd Compton, Mark V. Withers, Bill Hamblin, Louis Midgley, and John Welch though all with their various perspectives, stood together that year as brothers and sisters in the Gospel to produce something unique and novel. Perhaps an apologist will one day thumb through this work and soften his heart in consideration of the testament to that kinship which, because of this volume, will never be forgotten.

http://www.meridianmagazine.com/article ... tions.html

*There may exist some review before the FROB that very few people know about, or by someone associated with FARMS predating FARMS or done by someone by some means that could be somehow associated with FARMS. Note also that the five books of Nibley's turned over to Compton clearly predate the year of the review and FARMS often reviews works not published in the year of the installment. All attempts to find a review by FARMS of their assumed canon have failed, though I've "stumbled forward" on endless references to the book from apologists. From our volume under review, L. Ara Norwood writes, typically, "Actually, John L. Sorenson's work demonstrates that a Mesoamerican setting for the Book of Mormon is very plausible.11" The footnote doesn't cite anything bolstering the claim, but simply references The Book, almost with the confident circularity Christians use to establish the authority of the Bible by its own self-citation.

**Gardner is also growning in popularity and interestingly, his Book of Mormon commentaries have not been reviewed by FROB.

A shout out to the scholar I harrassed for answers to some questions I had. I only asked one so if you're reading this, you know who you are.

Re: Twenty Years Later, an Old Chestnut gets the Review

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 3:23 am
by _Ray A
Gadianton wrote:This threat, this stunning event I've been talking about on the board, was none other than the publication of what most here probably haven't even heard of, a book called, Deciphering the Geography of the Book of Mormon by F. Richard Hauck. Hauck was an Internet Mormon himself and an avid disciple of Sorenson and the LGT. So what could possibly be the problem? This will remain a matter for further research.


I read Hauck's book, and the FARMS reviews, which are:

Mark V. Withers

John E. Clark

William J. Hamblin (corrected)


The only thing I derived from this book was what Bill Hamblin stated:

In summary, the most generous review I can give is that Hauck has shown that much of the geographical material contained in the Book of Mormon is somewhat ambiguous. This, however, should be obvious to anyone who has seriously studied the text. Unfortunately, Hauck has not expressed his eccentric theories in terms of the inherent ambiguity of the geographical references in the text, but in terms of a near certainty which he has by no means demonstrated.




John Clark:

Evaluation of the Sorenson geography in the light of archaeological evidence will require many years and perhaps several books. This is a field for experts such as Hauck, Norman, Warren, Jakeman, and others. For most of us, it is enough to know that there really is an area of the Americas that matches the geographic details of the Book of Mormon in terms of shape, topography, hydrology, and dimensions. For the interested reader I recommend the Sorenson text. I recommend Hauck's book only for the truly dedicated enthusiast who wants to evaluate critically his/her own geographical interpretations of the Book of Mormon.


Mark Withers:

The understandability of this book depends upon the efforts of the reader. I noticed that what Hauck said at the beginning of his book is true where he stated that the book was addressed to the scientific reader as well as the average reader who uses the book as a guide to studying the Book of Mormon. I found myself lost in technicalities quite often and it seemed like half the book was an introduction or a thorough description of the second half, which seemed to be the meat of the study. The study leans more toward the scientific reader than the average reader who is merely seeking some answers to make the study of the Book of Mormon easier. However, if the average reader makes an effort in understanding this book, I think it would be understandable for him or her as well.


I don't think it was a deliberate effort to alienate Hauck, but more like arguing how many angels can dance on a pinhead. That was my opinion, in any case. I'm not sure how Hauck is an "Internet Mormon". He also holds to an LGT/LGM.

Re: Twenty Years Later, an Old Chestnut gets the Review

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 3:47 am
by _Gadianton
Ray,

I would derive less than all of you from reading Hauck's book. Certainly, I've derived far less from reading the Book of Mormon. But Clark's technical odyssey does not just "appear" in print because he's a dedicated Trekky. It's part of an executive decision, when it's one of three reviews, and when combined with the others nearly equates to half the volume, we know that FARMS is in "damage control" mode as in the cases of Metcalfe and Palmer. It doesn't really matter how little you or I can relate to this.

Thanks for your comments, always appreciated even when we disagree.

Re: Twenty Years Later, an Old Chestnut gets the Review

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 4:00 am
by _Ray A
Gadianton wrote:
Thanks for your comments, always appreciated even when we disagree.


I'm not against the ideas you're trying to express, Gad, only I'd like some more concrete information to go on. Is there a "clique" at FARMS? Possibly. But I'm uncertain how far their "control" goes, which isn't the same as a clique.

Hauck has also been published in Meridan. (Edit: I now realise noted by you.)

H. Doni Peterson:

Others who have contributed to the literature about the Book of Mormon are Paul R. Cheesman, whose works include The World of the Book of Mormon (1984), and Monte S. Nyman, whose publications include An Ensign to All People: The Sacred Message and Mission of the Book of Mormon (1987).

Church headquarters publishes materials for use in weekly priesthood quorum meetings, Relief Society meetings, Sunday School classes, and Institute and Seminary classes to assist members in better understanding the Book of Mormon.

Several authors have written on Book of Mormon archaeology and geology. Two popular books with an archaeological approach are Dewey and Edith Farnsworth, The Americas Before Columbus (1947), and Milton R. Hunter and Thomas Stuart Ferguson, Ancient America and the Book of Mormon (1950). More recent studies on Book of Mormon geography include John L. Sorenson, An Ancient American Setting for the Book of Mormon (1985); F. Richard Hauck, Deciphering the Geography of the Book of Mormon (1988); and Joseph L. Allen, Exploring the Lands of the Book of Mormon (1989). The Nephites, Lamanites, Mulekites, and Jaredites were historical cultures that occupied time and space; however, Church leaders have declared no official position as to where the Book of Mormon civilizations were situated other than that they were in the Western Hemisphere.


Book of Mormon Commentaries

Looks like "the marketplace of ideas". I was replying to:

Gadianton wrote:In response to a situation growing more critical every day, the apologists would set the stage for an apologetic coup, where a small group of elite scholars would aim to control the entire intellectual and doctrinal life of the Church. Their product, the reviews of books they'd churn out, would keep tabs on all those with something to say about Mormonism. They'd create a repository of "creepy dossiers" so to speak and effectively establish their own clipping service. The creation of the SCMC years later surely was inspired by the preliminary dossier work done by the apologists in the late 80s. The review would focus on combating the greatest dangers of the year to the apologetic agenda. In year one, the greatest threats were from within the ranks of the *belligerents* and not from the enemy camps of the critics. Today, we will examine the reviews of the two most dangerous books to the apologetic rise of power in the year of the birth of FROB. Books which threatened the popularity of the apologists with their Mormon audience and the viability of their general aspirations to fame and fortune..


If that's their aim, I doubt it has been achieved, or is even achievable.

Re: Twenty Years Later, an Old Chestnut gets the Review

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 4:52 am
by _Ray A
I missed this one:

According to the authors, F. Richard Hauck was their archaeological advisor. Hauck spent three weeks with the Proctors of the six weeks they were in Mesoamerica taking photographs. The photographs, text, and captions reflect this influence. Hauck's ideas regarding Book of Mormon geography have been published and reviewed and found wanting.1 Notwithstanding Hauck's involvement, the book contains errors in archaeology. For example, it is interesting that so many photographs of Mixco Viejo were published since most archaeologist believe it was established during Late Classic times (A.D. 600-800)2 and its defensive works date to Early Postclassic times (A.D. 1000-1200)3 long after the Book of Mormon period. The caption on page 111 for the photograph on pages 108-9 states that the Temple of the Cross at Palenque is a Postclassic temple and that Palenque is in Tabasco, Mexico. But Palenque is in Chiapas, as is correctly stated in the caption on page 66, and the Temple of the Cross dates to Late Classic times. The caption for the photograph on page 89 states: "Stela of Mayan warrior-leader Pacal located at Palenque in the state of Chiapas in Southern Mexico." This figure is not a stela. It does not represent Pacal, according to Merle Greene Robertson.4 The caption on page 138 (for the photo on page 139) states that "The Comitan River valley in southern Mexico is one of the ancient travel corridors to the Pacific," when in fact the Comitan River valley is in southern Guatemala and empties into the Gulf of Honduras in the Caribbean Sea and not into the Pacific Ocean. An interesting example is found in the caption on page 141 which reads in part, "Trees generally grow only on one side of these trenches today." The authors then show a trench with trees growing on both sides.

In addition to factual errors, there are some interpretations that seem poor at best. For example, the caption on page 152 identifies the site of Nueve Cerros (Nine Hills) as possibly Zarahemla. This does not follow the theories of the majority of Book of Mormon scholars. In addition, the authors make the assumption that the major industry of Zarahemla might have been salt production, an assertion that has no basis in the scriptures and, in fact, is misleading in a book such as this. There is a photograph of Lake Atitlan in Guatemala with a caption (p. 166) that identifies the lake, gives a brief description of the Aztec calendar, and then relates them both to Book of Mormon scriptures—associating two things far apart geographically and 1000 years apart chronologically. I know of no basis for the statement in the caption on page 172 (for the photograph on pages 170-71) that the mound complex at Izapa, near Tapachula, Mexico, "is an exact model of the Temple of Solomon but in grander proportions." The above statements and others like them detract from the value of the photographs published in this book.

In summary, the photographs of what many consider to be the Book of Mormon area in the New World and the land of Bountiful in the Old World are excellent and should be interesting to many who have not had the privilege of seeing these areas in person. However, it seems to the reviewer that the authors would have had a much better book if they had just published the photographs with a brief statement of identification. They never say why a particular photograph was published nor what its importance is to the stated theme of the book. The text and a portion of each caption do not relate to the photographs. Neither text nor captions add anything to Book of Mormon scholarship, and both contain errors and dubious interpretations.


FARMS Review, 1994:Light From the Dust

That probably explains why he got a prominent airing in Meridian (the authors of the book under review are the editors of Meridian)

Re: Twenty Years Later, an Old Chestnut gets the Review

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 5:19 am
by _Ray A
Gadianton wrote:
I think the reader quickly gets the idea, the well is so poisoned that she'll fall dead from asphyxiation before ever reaching the door to Deseret Book. But before I close my comments on Hamblin, I promised to mention Hamblin's now world-famous irony. In one place where Hauck makes an archaeological claim Hamblin doesn't think holds water, Hamblin challenges by retorting with a harrassing barrage of rhetorical questions, "But who predicted it? Where is the modern location? What Book of Mormon site is referred to? Who conducted the archaeological dig? What professional journal published the findings? Who reviewed the findings?..."


Let's be technical, and fair, Gad. I couldn't find those exact words. This is what Hamblin wrote:

If Hauck has made a significant archaeological find, let him describe it in a detailed paper, submit it to peer review, and publish his specific findings and analysis for critical appraisal. Undoubtedly he intends to do so, but until he does, he has gone beyond the pale of responsible scholarship in making assertions such as he does.


I'm quite sure he meant submit it to people like Sorenson, FARMS, et.al, not a professional archaeology journal. That wouldn't make any sense since professional non-Mormon archaeologists don't even take this seriously.

Re: Twenty Years Later, an Old Chestnut gets the Review

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 4:35 pm
by _Gadianton
Ray A wrote:
Gadianton wrote:
I think the reader quickly gets the idea, the well is so poisoned that she'll fall dead from asphyxiation before ever reaching the door to Deseret Book. But before I close my comments on Hamblin, I promised to mention Hamblin's now world-famous irony. In one place where Hauck makes an archaeological claim Hamblin doesn't think holds water, Hamblin challenges by retorting with a harrassing barrage of rhetorical questions, "But who predicted it? Where is the modern location? What Book of Mormon site is referred to? Who conducted the archaeological dig? What professional journal published the findings? Who reviewed the findings?..."


Let's be technical, and fair, Gad. I couldn't find those exact words. This is what Hamblin wrote:

If Hauck has made a significant archaeological find, let him describe it in a detailed paper, submit it to peer review, and publish his specific findings and analysis for critical appraisal. Undoubtedly he intends to do so, but until he does, he has gone beyond the pale of responsible scholarship in making assertions such as he does.


I'm quite sure he meant submit it to people like Sorenson, FARMS, et.al, not a professional archaeology journal. That wouldn't make any sense since professional non-Mormon archaeologists don't even take this seriously.


Ray, I should make my citations a little more clear, sorry, I haven't been feeling well this week and sort of fiddling with this a little everyday. The quotation comes from paragraph four which starts, "Hauck also makes some grandiose, but..." I just edited my OP to eliminate confusiong about this.

Re: Twenty Years Later, an Old Chestnut gets the Review

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 5:38 pm
by _Mister Scratch
Dr. Robbers---

This was an outstanding review, and it really helps contribute to the growing body of literature which unequivocally demonstrates the fundamentally "belligerent," dyspeptic nature of FARMS apologetics. Their chief strategy, as you point out, involves demonizing "enemy" scholars, and maintaining an intellectually poststructuralist philosophy in which there is no such thing as Platonic "truth." In sense, these Mopologists have contrived a bizarre kind of gnostic Mormonism in which no doctrinal answers are possible. Except, of course, when they are handed down from the demiurges at the Maxwell Institute.

As for Ray:

I don't think it was a deliberate effort to alienate Hauck, but more like arguing how many angels can dance on a pinhead. That was my opinion, in any case. I'm not sure how Hauck is an "Internet Mormon". He also holds to an LGT/LGM.


Well, then, was it an "accidental" effort to alienate him? This was Issue No. 1 of FROB, and thus it is very telling in terms of the apologists' tactics and methods. There is overwhelming evidence demonstrating the deeply "cliquish" nature of FARMS apologists: l-skinny, the Yale conference, the "stacked deck" peer review process, and now this very important obvservation of Gad's that the apologists are very choosy in terms of which books get "the treatment." In all likelihood, the "friendly" texts on Mormonism do not get reviewed in FROB because the FROB Mopologists (and the editorial staff) don't know how to do anything other than rip into people.

Re: Twenty Years Later, an Old Chestnut gets the Review

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 7:55 pm
by _Daniel Peterson
Good Gad: A Literary Appreciation

Gadianton wrote:A desperate FARMS executive makes a phone call from his office to a colleague of unknown location.

LOL. Fictional dialogue. "Desperation." A mysterious "unknown location."

Funny stuff.

Gadianton wrote:an apologetic coup, where a small group of elite scholars would aim to control the entire intellectual and doctrinal life of the Church. . . . Eventually, even the apostles and the prophets would have to bow to FARMS.

ROTFL!

Before we settled on the acronym FARMS, we were strongly leaning toward SMERSH.

Gadianton wrote:They'd create a repository of "creepy dossiers" so to speak and effectively establish their own clipping service.

a.k.a. "published book reviews."

Gadianton wrote:The creation of the SCMC years later surely was inspired by the preliminary dossier work done by the apologists in the late 80s.

The word surely is sometimes used, as here, as a bit of rhetorical bravado masking a transparent attempt to tiptoe past the utter and complete lack of supporting evidence for a very dubious assertion.

Gadianton wrote:Today, we will examine the reviews of the two most dangerous books to the apologetic rise of power in the year of the birth of FROB.

"Dangerous"?

"The apologetic rise [to] power"?

Wonderful!

Gadianton wrote:Books which threatened the popularity of the apologists with their Mormon audience and the viability of their general aspirations to fame and fortune.

"Popularity" and "fame"? In 1989? My concert at Altamont that year barely drew 20,000, and John Clark's films were playing to tiny audience on only a few indie movie screens. We were unknown beyond our families, our home wards, and our tiny BYU classes in such mass-appeal subjects as Arabic grammar and Pre-Columbian ceramics.

And "fortune"?

This is great stuff.

Gadianton wrote:Control geography and Ye Shall Dominate Doctrine with a Fist of Iron

When the movie version of Gad's spoof is made, I envision this being written in giant block letters of stone. Perhaps I can stand on the top of them, with brawny arms bursting through a torn shirt, a pistol in one hand and, on the other side, some Hollywood actress clinging to my leg.

Gadianton wrote:The second most important review in this volume is Louis Midgley's angry dismissal of Joseph Fielding McConkie and Robert Millet's stately "Doctrinal Commentary on the Book of Mormon."

"Angry"?

"Stately"?

Gadianton wrote:Tvedtness's later fury over not being quoted by all students of the Book of Mormon surely is representative of the general apologetic sentiment and in revenge, Midgley turns the tables on McConkie's and Millet's general skepticism toward historical scholarship.

"Fury"?

"Revenge"?

Tvedtnes demanded that "all students" of the Book of Mormon quote him?

Gadianton wrote:Midgley makes a very creative and cunning argument against Chapel Mormonism and one can only speculate as to the magnitude of the Adversary's gleeful reaction over this highly original and sly proposal.

"Cunning"?

"Sly"?

"Chapel Mormonism"? Gad gives the game away for the cognoscenti by anachronistically inserting Shades's already silly dichotomy into a period when it was effectively unthinkable. It's rather like the clock chiming in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar II.1.202-204.

Gadianton wrote:we'll be spending thousands of dollars on their books and bank-account-breaking tiered membership programs

We were inspired by both Amway and the Church of Scientology.

Gadianton wrote:The Sacred Parchment in Danger, the Iron Fist Turned to Clay

"Save me, Dudley Do-Right! O, save me, do!" cried the comely Nell Fenwick, as the dastardly Snidely Whiplash, executive director of FARMS, tied her to the railroad tracks.

Gadianton wrote:While McConkie's book was a clear threat to the ruse of the apologists, it was not the most significant threat of that year.

"The ruse of the apologists"?

Gadianton wrote:As the apologists understood it, both the truthfulness as well as the truths of the Book of Mormon turned on geography. And the most sacred account of the Book of Mormon's geography, as many are aware, was none other than An Ancient American Setting of [[i]sic] the Book of Mormon[/i] by John Sorenson. So holy it was that the apologists had strictly forbidden anyone to ever review it.*

Since few have actually gained entrance to the sanctum sanctorum of FARMS, perhaps I should describe it. The sacred and holy original manuscript of An Ancient American Setting for the Book of Mormon rests in an atmospherically-controlled, hermetically-sealed plexiglass cube in a climate-controlled shrine, upon an altar, in a natural cave occurring below the office of the pontifex maximus of FARMS, the Emperor Palpatine. A choir of virgins surrounds the altar, singing hymns to the glory of Professor Sorenson twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Only once every four years, at midnight on 29 February, does the cube containing the manuscript emerge from the cave for a ceremonial procession that circumambulates the campus of BYU seven times.

Just so nobody is actually taken in by Gad's satire (beyond the gullible Master Scartch, of course): John Sorenson's An Ancient American Setting for the Book of Mormon was published in 1985. The FARMS Review was launched in 1989. While it has occasionally reached back into the past to review older books, it has not done so at all systematically -- and especially didn't do so in its earliest years. No decree has gone out from FARMSus Disgustus that all the world should refrain from reviewing the book.

Gadianton wrote:In fact, I dare say that the FROB originated primarily in a hasty reaction to respond to this danger.

LOL. Of course Gad dares to say it!

It's not even remotely true, but no goons will be arriving at his door to punish him for his conspiracy fantasy.

Gadianton wrote:This threat, this stunning event I've been talking about on the board, was none other than the publication of what most here probably haven't even heard of, a book called, Deciphering the Geography of the Book of Mormon by F. Richard Hauck.

A "threat." A "stunning event."

It was, in other words, "a watershed event in the history of Mopologetics." Gad's gift for parody is right on target here.

Gadianton wrote:Hauck was an Internet Mormon himself

For those who didn't miss his anachronistic insertion of the absurd Shades dichotomy earlier, Gad reprises it. "I'm joking," he virtually screams. "This is not to be taken seriously!"

Gadianton wrote:So what could possibly be the problem? This will remain a matter for further research.

The faux academic seriousness here is priceless.

Gadianton wrote:But we do know a couple of things about FARMS and its "damage control" mode of operation.

By claiming to know "things" about something that exists only in Scartch's fantasy world, Gad signals his approach with great subtlety and skill.

Gadianton wrote:And I can tell you that in volume one of the Review, there are 18 books reviewed. Thirteen of those books get one or two sets of eyes and take up barely more than half the book. Five books by Nibley get five pages, for instance. And one book, one solitary book of the title aformentioned, gets three "thumbs down" reviews and takes up the rest of the space. Suffice it to say, John Clark provided the very long technical rejection and Bill Hamblin was brought in for the polemics.

This is a hallmark of the Scartchian technique that is Gad's principal target in his send-up: the speculative and objectively false historical background (complete with private and unexpressed motivations) for an otherwise undisputed historical fact.

Here's the historical truth: I approached John Clark for a review, and he turned me down. He was still working on his doctoral dissertation, he was teaching full time and running an archaeological organization, and the FARMS Review (then, actually, the Review of Books on the Book of Mormon) was a little journal still in the planning stages by people he didn't know. (I had never met him at the time.) So I contacted my old friend from Cairo days, Bill Hamblin, and persuaded him to write a review. Then John Clark said that he would write one, but that it would be very brief. In the meantime, a volunteer sent in an unsolicited review that I liked. And, when John Clark's review arrived, it was long and illustrated and very, very good.

Gadianton wrote:According to Clark, Hauck's sin was to add unto and revise Sorenson's model too much.

"Hauck's sin." That's good!

Gadianton wrote:the overwhelming dryness of the debate, wetting my cheeks with tears of joyous laughter.

Like any good performer, Gad doesn't want to leave any doubt in the minds of his audience about the response that he desires.

Gadianton wrote:From what I can tell, the apologists are very cliquish, and Hauck had never been part of the "inner circle".

But John Clark and I, who had never met, were bound together by the common oaths that we had taken as members of that small and elite cabal of intimate acquaintances -- the Illuminati!

Gadianton wrote:Everything was at stake

At this point in the silent film, the notes to the score instruct the accompanist to reach a crescendo of sinister-sounding music.

Gadianton wrote:this lone crusader, Hauck

He wrote a book.

Gadianton wrote:Further, he engaged in extensive Book of Mormon field work, something almost none of the apologists could ever claim.

Except for Clark and Sorenson and several others.

Gadianton wrote:FQuite frankly, Hauck was more qualified than Sorenson, Clark, Gardner**, and all the others.

????

Gadianton wrote:After all the promotion of the Mesoamerican LGT and the center of control the apologists had won, for someone to end up owning it outside of the royal bloodline was unthinkable.

A nice tip o' the hat to The Da Vinci Code -- another historically baseless conspiracy fantasy.

Gadianton wrote:He had to be stopped.

The accompanist should still be playing with intensity and volume at this point.

Gadianton wrote:Professor Hamblin, a layman

With a Ph.D. in pre-modern history particularly focused on ancient and medieval warfare, teaching experience in historical method and the construction of research, and a lengthy and well-evidenced interest in Pre-Columbian Mesoamerica.

Gadianton wrote:Most instructive about Hamblin's work as shown by Mister Scratch and others, are the first sentences of each of his paragraphs

For those who haven't yet noticed that Gad's satire is focused on Master Scartch, he lays out an unmistakable clue here.

Gadianton wrote:so our primary consideration of Hamblin's review will be just that. Beginning with his opening paragraph and moving down:

"This is a seriously flawed book.."
"I feel there are several major problems..."
"A related problem..."
"Hauck also makes some grandiose..."
"Hauck's work is also flawed..."
"A dubious assumption..."
"...last sentence manifestly false..."
...

I think the reader quickly gets the idea

Absolutely! In his first paragraphs, Hamblin has set forth the cleverly concealed acronym TIAHHA . . . !

Gadianton wrote:the well is so poisoned that she'll fall dead from asphyxiation before ever reaching the door to Deseret Book.

Vintage Scartchianism, even if not intended seriously: In Scartchworld, to write a negative book review -- or, at least, to write a negative book review about a book that Scartch probably hasn't read but nonetheless believes should have received a positive book review -- is to commit the logical fallacy of "poisoning the well." It is vicious and ad hominem.

Gadianton wrote:But before I close my comments on Hamblin, I promised to mention Hamblin's now world-famous irony. In one place where Hauck makes an archaeological claim Hamblin doesn't think holds water, Hamblin challenges by retorting with a harrassing barrage of rhetorical questions,

Hamblin wrote:But who predicted it? Where is the modern location? What Book of Mormon site is referred to? Who conducted the archaeological dig? What professional journal published the findings? Who reviewed the findings?...

FROB v.1 pg. 72 (paragraph 4 of his review)

Absolutely horrifying. To ask questions that Master Scartch would have preferred had not been asked is to harrass the person asked. It is vicious and ad hominem.

Gad has captured the Scartchian approach beautifully. And, since Gad has previously (with tongue well in cheek) pronounced Scartch one of the titans of English prose in our time, Gad has implicitly staked a claim for his own place within the pantheon that includes such figures as Lancelot Andrewes, T. S. Eliot, Joseph Addison, and John McPhee.

I, for one, am not inclined to challenge him.

Gadianton wrote:Let the tears of laughter flow once again my friends!

Gad steps out of character at this point, and, rather in the manner of one of Shakespeare's prologs or epilogs, addresses his audience directly, seeking an expression of their approval.

Gadianton wrote:A Devious Plot Redeemed

Having apparently been well steeped in Aristotle's Poetics, Gad now moves toward the resolution of the tensions in his satirical melodrama.

Gadianton wrote:Though the project of the apologists to keep the Book of Mormon in all its facets including the doctrines of the entire Church strictly under their control is quickly revealed . . . the plot was pulled off with incredible skill

The Mopologists' "desperate" conspiracy was "furious," "vengeful," "angry," "dangerous," "sly," "incredibly skillful," "devious," and "cunning," but easily spotted.

FARMS is run by an odd group of idiot savants.

Gadianton wrote:one can not help but hold back a feeling of sadness when considering Lavina Fielding Anderson, David P. Wright, Todd Compton, Mark V. Withers, Bill Hamblin, Louis Midgley, and John Welch though all with their various perspectives, stood together that year as brothers and sisters in the Gospel to produce something unique and novel. Perhaps an apologist will one day thumb through this work and soften his heart in consideration of the testament to that kinship which, because of this volume, will never be forgotten.

A genuinely moving peroration.

Gadianton wrote:Note also that the five books of Nibley's turned over to Compton . . . All attempts to find a review by FARMS of their assumed canon have failed

Surely Nibley's books would have to be included in the FARMS "canon": FARMS, and now the Maxwell Institute, has been working for many years on publishing the Collected Works of Hugh Nibley (including a volume that appeared just a few months ago and at least three more yet to appear).

This, too, is absolutely Scartchian. The assertion of transparent falsehoods as if they were unquestionable truths. If Gad continues in character, he'll continue to repeat this one, and will eventually begin to erect arguments on the basis of it as if it constitute actual evidence.

Gadianton wrote:Gardner is also growning in popularity and interestingly, his Book of Mormon commentaries have not been reviewed by FROB.

Despite the lavish compensation that we offer our reviewers -- a free copy of the book to be reviewed, if the reviewer doesn't already own it, and a free copy of the issue of the FARMS Review in which the reviewer's review appears -- it sometimes takes us a while to secure commitments from people to write a review for us, and especially when the item to be reviewed is a massive multivolume publication.

Brant Gardner's commentary appeared in December 2007. It will be reviewed by multiple reviewers, and they are already working on their reviews.

And, when they're finished with their reviews, those reviews will go through the careful editorial process of which Master Scartch has written so voluminously and uncomprehendingly, which itself takes time, and then they'll appear in one of our two annual issues of the FARMS Review. We are not well situated to respond instantly when a book appears.

Gadianton wrote:A shout out to the scholar I harrassed for answers to some questions I had. I only asked one so if you're reading this, you know who you are.

No problem, Gad. You're welcome to call on me at any time.

Master Scartch swallowed it hook, line, and sinker. I haven't laughed so hard in several hours, and I'll be happy to help next time, too.

Re: Twenty Years Later, an Old Chestnut gets the Review

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 7:59 pm
by _Daniel Peterson
Mister Scratch wrote:In all likelihood, the "friendly" texts on Mormonism do not get reviewed in FROB because the FROB Mopologists (and the editorial staff) don't know how to do anything other than rip into people.

The gullible Master Scartch, who has recently revealed that his knowledge of FARMS publications is severely limited and very superficial, illustrates that fact again here by exhibiting his lack of awareness of the fact that the FARMS Review has often reviewed "friendly" texts on Mormonism and has often been critical of them -- e.g., of works by Hugh Nibley and Jack Welch and yours truly.

It's yet another watershed moment in the sorry history of Scartchoplexy.