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Every once in a while, I feel that special lightness of being, that ecstasy of the soul, that comes with being free of Mormonism. I understand that it works for some people, and I am happy to enough share the planet with these souls, but I doubt very many will miss my friendship. Maybe one or two do.

Have I been angry? Yes. I may even feel so again, but I feel really happy about it right now. On the whole, my feelings about it tend very much in the direction of peace and joy without a particular angst. I feel like rambling on a bit about why.

Why am I happy? Because I don't have to endure or take any measure of responsibility for the LDS Church's support of Prop 8. I am no longer subject to the mindset and mythology that somehow lead to the fear of gay marriage making cosmic sense, when it is truly blatant nonsense. I also no longer struggle with why blacks were not allowed to hold the priesthood, or why the LDS Church used the fear of unisex bathrooms to drive its members to fight ERA.

I no longer have to sit through drab, lifeless meetings in which Republican ideology is spouted as though it were the very gospel of Christ. I no longer feel bound to obey a gaggle of elderly men as though I were a small child who could not make his own judgments. I no longer feel any obligation to read the LDS scriptures as though they necessarily had any great contribution to make to humanity.

I no longer sit in suspense over when the sealed portion of the plates will be translated and added to the canon. I no longer wonder what ever happened to the Book of Joseph. After all, I have discovered that all of them were. I will never again wonder whether I will live the Principle in the next life, whether the Holy Ghost is a savior in training, whether I will ever be worthy enough for the second anointing, whether Adam God was truly revealed of God, and what difference it makes that the Church has departed from its past teachings and practices. I never have to concern myself with the return of Jesus again. Whew!

I will never again be subjected to PPIs or temple recommend interviews. I will never again have to endure a pep talk on raising ward statistics for hometeaching. I will never again have to endure the travesties of historical error of fact and distortion that pass as God's truth and reality in the chapels of Mormondom. I never again have to struggle to imagine how hours of soporific mumblings of nonagenarians are truly spiritually inspiring. I will never again agonize over the millions of tiny and not so tiny ways I fall short of the glory of God.

Being free of it all is sweet. It really is. I hope the Church is as happy with me gone as I am to be away. I doubt they really notice, but it is nice to think that I will be one less person for them to worry about, one less assignment for hometeaching, one less grumpy guy in the pews. Don't get me wrong, the Mormons are not bad people, but when all is said and done, they are also not really my people. I may have issued forth a black sheep from the loins of faithful pioneers, but I was never really content to live among the saints. I always liked nonmembers and fellow black sheep better. There is something wonderfully human about people who aren't trying to be God's special pet.

Trevor,

I understand how you feel, I really do. There is more to be thankful for, though. Just think, there is very little to no chance that you will ever be called by the SCMC to perform duties as an "agent" on your own time. You will never have to feel the anger of an l-skinny thug. You will never be deceived by apologists who forge letters from critics to secretaries of the FP. You will never be solicited to "review" the sincere writings of a fellow Latter-Day Saint. Of course, you will never make a "wad of bills" from apologetic enterprising, but there are always other options.

Trev,

It sounds like you just won World War Two all on your own. :)

If you constantly go around criticizing the Church, it's still part of your life, you haven't let it go, and I daresay you're not happy at all but you must keeping telling yourself that in order to maintain your sanity.

bcspace wrote:If you constantly go around criticizing the Church, it's still part of your life, you haven't let it go, and I daresay you're not happy at all but you must keeping telling yourself that in order to maintain your sanity.

You're sort of describing the act of bearing your testimony, no?

Who Knows wrote:

bcspace wrote:If you constantly go around criticizing the Church, it's still part of your life, you haven't let it go, and I daresay you're not happy at all but you must keeping telling yourself that in order to maintain your sanity.

You're sort of describing the act of bearing your testimony, no?

PWNED!

If you constantly go around criticizing the Church, it's still part of your life, you haven't let it go, and I daresay you're not happy at all but you must keeping telling yourself that in order to maintain your sanity.

You're sort of describing the act of bearing your testimony, no?

PWNED!

Did I bear my testimony?

Checkmate.

bcspace wrote:Did I bear my testimony?

No, and we have never heard it from you.

bcspace wrote:If you constantly go around criticizing the Church, it's still part of your life, you haven't let it go, and I daresay you're not happy at all but you must keeping telling yourself that in order to maintain your sanity.

I'd resent the guy too, if I were you.
I mean, he doesn't have believe in Book of Mormon, Kolob, walking on the water, becoming a supreme god, having sex with millions of women, jared's incredible upside-down turning Barge, paying ten percent of his income to sustain lavish lifestyles of Brass.
He doesn't have to believe anything nonsensical.
Except, perhaps Trevor should give a shot at "Spaghetti Monster" creed, or Realians. Something which is a lot funer when he practices.

While none of the particulars occur to me anymore, I appreciate what you've posted. Being Mormon was a burden because it turned life into a dull, wacky, boring existence. Now? Life definitely is better. There's more love, genuine concern for others I choose to be close with, I'm open to variety whereas before I viewed anything outside of Mormonism with disdain or suspicion. Good post, Trev.