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How many of you guys, when you were LDS, or whenever wondered whether dead spirits of our friends and forbears could watch you having sex? Or how many of you wondered if Elohim and Jehova were watching you get it on with your spouse?

I must admit, the thought occured to me, back when I believed these fictional characters actually existed, but I quickly found it easy to just not think about it, or to come up with some rationale for why they wouldn't watch.

But my wife went through a period, especially right after her father died, where she wondered if he was watching us have sex, and if so, whether he was judging her or whatever.

God, how unbelievably stupid all this stuff is.

The whole "can the spirits of our dead ancestors watch us have sex?" thing is such a turn-off (for most people...), and it's so freaking stupid too.

But I bet every one of you former (or current) LDS has dealt with this before.

When my wife was asking me if I thought her dad could see us having sex, here's what I told her: if he wouldn't have watched us have sex when he was still alive, because it would have been inappropriate to do so, then he wouldn't watch us have sex now that he's a spirit, because nothing about the inappropriateness of it has changed at all. (That's if he even still exists as a spirit, but it wasn't something I was willing to press her about at that time, in her grief.)

I'm not sure what the argument is to counter the notion that God is watching though. I guess the best argument is hey, don't worry, God has seen it all, and I mean God has seen it all, trillions and trillions of times, by billions and billions of people, on billions of planets, in bilions of galaxies, and for all we know he regularly has sex with his own Celestial harem, and it's just not a big deal. Whatever we may do is very tame compared to the full extent of what he must have seen. (again, assuming that Elohim the Sky Daddy really exists, which he doesn't - but if he did, that's my argument to counter that hypothetical)

Still, this is one more artifact of the crazy TBM upbringing, in line with the other thread Danna started.

Who on Earth sits around wondering if the Creator of the Entire Universe is watching them copulate?

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The "ewwww" factor of this post is over the 10 mark.

I guess I never worried about it. Maybe I was hoping for some pointers?

For those who do get into this way of thinking, perhaps they can envision a heavenly cheering squad:

Way to go Nehor
Way to go!
Knock it out of the
ballpark son
Win one for the Gipper!

This would reduce their guilt and anxiety, unless those watching were slimers.

He must be watching, else why would Bishops and assorted apostles give advice on what and what not to do?

If anyone really believed that the spirits of the past-dead could see us, no one would ever go to the bathroom.

I'm surprised your wife was worried about her father's spirit watching, and not the billions of anonymous perverts who have lived in time immemorial.

So much for Voyeurism, eh?

cinepro wrote:If anyone really believed that the spirits of the past-dead could see us, no one would ever go to the bathroom.

I'm surprised your wife was worried about her father's spirit watching, and not the billions of anonymous perverts who have lived in time immemorial.

This wasn't the first time this has come up. She's previously worried that God was watching, or Jesus, or the angels, multiple times. The thing about her dad watching was just the latest time this came up.

It's not hard to see where people come up with this stuff. We're taught as Mormons that the spirit world is actually right here, on Earth, and that we're surrounded by the spirits of the dead all the time. So why wouldn't they be in our room when we're having sex?

Yes, there are multiple onlookers. Think about it this way, you have to have a whole team watching, every time, and after the money shot someone has to be watching very closely in order to make the call of a full connect so as to rush the spirit in, which means the children are watching too. The spirit has to rush in right at that instant, any delay would be rational grounds for abortion.

In ancient Rome, there was a special priest of Jupiter, the flamen Dialis, who was required by the rules governing his priesthood to place a black sheet over his bed so that Jupiter would not see him copulating with his wife.

In a funeral sermon, Joseph Smith declared that the spirits of righteous people who have died “are not far from us, and know and understand our thoughts, feelings, and motions, and are often pained therewith” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 326). Other latter-day prophets have made similar statements. President Ezra Taft Benson said: “Sometimes the veil between this life and the life beyond becomes very thin. Our loved ones who have passed on are not far from us” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1971, p. 18; or Ensign, June 1971, p. 33). President Brigham Young said: “Where is the spirit world? It is right here” (Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 376).
Chapter 45: The Postmortal Spirit World,” Gospel Principles, 289

Do I detect a hint of withering paranoia?

You guys and all your silly hangs ups.....lol