My dear Brothers and Sisters

[_David A. Bednar]

Good day to all of you, my dearly beloved Brothers and Sisters.

Another year is soon to pass, as have all the others, leaving us ever more in debt to our dear Prophet Joseph Smith for the truths He restored to us. Indeed, I must ask rhetorically, where would each of us be without His influence in our lives? We, all of us here on this board and every member of this world community, owe a debt of humble gratitude to that Great Prophet, Joseph. Praise (indeed) to the Man who communed with Elohim, Jehovah and all the Great Prophets throughout History.

Brothers and Sisters, I am here today on an errand for our beloved Prophet, yea, even our beloved President Thomas S. Monson. He would like to thank the owner of this board for allowing him to visit every so often; to hang out in a place where he can put his feet up on the desk, crack open a Pepsi, have no fear of getting suspended, while at the same time learn some Church history from the likes of Uncle Dale. He indeed feels truly blessed. Don't we all? (I probably shouldn't be telling you all this, but President Monson was even late for last week's Apostles' meeting. He is fascinated with the new word-print study. Of course, He doesn't buy into a lick of it, but finds it fascinating to watch ex-mormons attempting to justify their sins through reinterpreting our history.)

The work of the Lord is rapidly progressing. Restoring Salt Lake City to its pristine condition is continuing on pace. President Monson is saddened to find that some members feel that we are flushing good money down the toilet by taking on this project. But, don't be syndrome shakened by the never-before-equaled costs of such a project. There is no project too big or too costly that the Lord's Saints can't cover, but through their faithful donations, together with our friendly relations with banks like WaMu and Zions. Hold the presses: Scratch that about WaMu. We've never had any relationship with them, I am told now by brother Watson. Brother Watson will send a letter to FARMS confirming that I never said that, and see that it is filed along with their other important documents, never to be seen again.

The Lord's children throughout the world, unlucky to have never been through a post-1990 temple session, need not wait much longer. The expansion seen under President Hinckley is brass and tinkling symbols in comparison to what our dear beloved Prophet, yea, even our beloved President Monson has in store for the world in this new year. Hold the presses again: Now, Brother Watson is telling me that things have changed and what I just last wrote should be filed together with the WaMu letter. It appears now that some of our faithful Saints who were to receive temples this year, must be just a tad bit more patient, at least until WaMu, or rather, the economy turns around.

I feel particularly saddened for my Brothers and Sisters from the islands of the world. Despite the fact that you are indeed descendants of that Master Shipbuilder, Hagoth, and that you actually have more of a claim to receiving the temple ordinances than others in the world, I am told to tell you to hold on to the rod just a bit longer. Your time is coming.

To my favorite islanders, where my dear wife and I have been living, off and on, for the last 2 years, my dear Jamaican Brothers and Sisters, to be clear, please know that you are in our prayers. Sister Bednar and I have loved and have been blessed living among you for the last two years, breathing deeply into our lungs all your love and fellowship. There is nothing better than Jamaican fellowship. My red eyes are shedding tears just thinking of those beloved memories, those which are still intact, anyway.

Finally, we are so very proud of the newer, younger apologists who are willing to be here, to put up with such terrible abuse, in order to gently persuade our lost Brothers and Sisters of the Truthfulness of this Great Church. Continue on, dear apologists. You have our blessing and you are reaping the fruits of the Gospel.

Please, all of you, have a safe and happy New Year. Sister Bednar and I will be back in Jamaica tomorrow in order to usher in the new year with our Saints on the islands.

Peace to all of you during this special holiday season.

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[_harmony]

Oh, great. The church contributed to the WaMu's mess?

[_Dr. Shades]

Brothers and Sisters, I am here today on an errand for our beloved Prophet, yea, even our beloved President Thomas S. Monson. He would like to thank the owner of this board for allowing him to visit every so often; to hang out in a place where he can put his feet up on the desk, crack open a Pepsi, have no fear of getting suspended, while at the same time learn some Church history from the likes of Uncle Dale. He indeed feels truly blessed.

Thanks! I'm sure I speak on behalf of all of us when I say that we're truly grateful to have him here.

Please tell him "you're welcome" for me and that I'm glad he finds this place enjoyable.

[_marg]

Indeed, I must ask rhetorically, where would each of us be without His influence in our lives?

I might never have learned just how credulous people can be, or how utterly ludicrous religions can be. I owe it to J. Smith for making this abundantly clear to me, as revealed through his followers and ex followers on the Net. I'm not sure where I would be or how I would have spent the 1,000's of hours I have on this, were it not for his endeavours.

[_solomarineris]

My dear Brothers and Sisters;
Go moderator edit by harmony: delete inappropriate languageyourslaves, if you do not believe in this gosple.

[_Daniel Peterson]

My dear Brothers and Sisters;
Go moderator edit by harmony: delete inappropriate languageyourslaves, if you do not believe in this gosple.

Just topping this important thread.

[_TAK]

Just topping this important thread.

Thanks for the reminder just how goofy this religion is..