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How to tell real Lamanites when you see them
Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 5:14 am
by _JoetheClerk
The process should be simple.So many references by Prophets of God to Lamanites. The Lamanites are really Jews.
Just check out any Indians in the shower. The circumsized ones must be Lamanites, right/
Re: How to tell real Lamanites when you see them
Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 5:21 am
by _Amaterasu
I would have to inadvertently stumble into a male locker room to do this and I'm not so certain I'm that curious...
Re: How to tell real Lamanites when you see them
Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:48 pm
by _SatanWasSetUp
Isn't there some rule about how to spot a Lamanite? You offer to shake his hand, and if his hand goes through yours, he's a lamanite.
Re: How to tell real Lamanites when you see them
Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 9:33 pm
by _Amaterasu
I thought there was some rule where if you questioned a lamanite he freaked out and started ranting about how he'll take on the FBI and carry on and on about assault rifles. I'm more comfortable recognizing Lamanites that way then the penis check method.
Re: How to tell real Lamanites when you see them
Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 9:40 pm
by _Chap
Amaterasu wrote:I thought there was some rule where if you questioned a lamanite he freaked out and started ranting about how he'll take on the FBI and carry on and on about assault rifles. I'm more comfortable recognizing Lamanites that way then the penis check method.
No. Those aren't Lamanites. We know now that those people (ranting/FBI/AK47) originally came from Taiwan (see my post on gut flora etc.)
[edited for typo]
Re: How to tell real Lamanites when you see them
Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 5:56 am
by _bcspace
The process should be simple.So many references by Prophets of God to Lamanites. The Lamanites are really Jews.
Just check out any Indians in the shower. The circumsized ones must be Lamanites, right/
Doesn't follow if the Lamanites are apostates and descendents of apostates. Doesn't follow either since they are only principle ancestors.
Re: How to tell real Lamanites when you see them
Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 7:37 am
by _Mercury
Rub them with a Book of Mormon. They should turn white where you wipe off the curse.
Either that or rip "lamanite" children off the rez, sending them to live with wholesome white Mormon families. They will start becoming white.
From Good old Infymus:
The Mormon Church has an extensive history of trying to breed out the blackness in tribes such as the Navajos of Utah. Navajo children were adopted into white Mormon families where the Navajo was stripped of his/her identity. Schools were set up to "re-educate" Native Americans leaving enormous scars on the Navajo families and children. Mormon Prophet Spencer W. Kimball remarked that Navajo children placed in white families were several shades whiter than children still on reservations.
Re: How to tell real Lamanites when you see them
Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 5:26 am
by _floatingboy
bcspace wrote:
Doesn't follow if the Lamanites are apostates and descendents of apostates. Doesn't follow either since they are only principle ancestors.
damn! your logic was foiled! good thing
someone's out there keepin' us honest.
Re: How to tell real Lamanites when you see them
Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 5:31 am
by _JoetheClerk
"Doesn't follow either since they are only principle ancestors."
This is not what Joseph Smith, Spencer W. Kimball and all those inbetween taught. They taught clearly that all the pesky Indians were Lamanites. Even had Lamanite missions and orders to marry the daughters of the Lamanites(by revelation, no less)
If the current day LDS, Inc. can't tell a Lamanite from a mongol horde or whore, who can?