DiscussMormonism.com

Whether you are a TBM, an Ex-Mo, or someone in between, do you regret or rejoice the influence you had over your contacts? Given the opportunity now, would you change your message or reinforce it? I/we look forward to your responses...
Roger
*
*
Edited too correct spelling

Great topic, Roger. I'm about 12 years removed from my mission. I would say that my overall experience was negative. I met some great people and learned how to speak Spanish, but that's about it. I didn't enjoy talking to people about Mormonism or religion in general. I felt like I was intruding or forcing myself into their lives if I was making cold contacts or tracting. I didn't like that I couldn't communicate with my family regularly (by phone, not letter). I hated wearing a white shirt and tie and nametag everyday. In short, if I were 19 again, I wouldn't go. I think my time would have been better spent in other pursuits. I don't feel this way now just because I don't believe in Mormonism anymore; I felt this way during my mission and ever since.

As far as my contacts are concerned...I was never a forceful missionary. I wasn't concerned with getting "commitments". I was probably a little too lax for some some of my companions. I had a few baptisms, most of whom are probably inactive. I think that one kid I baptized went on to serve a mission. I don't feel guilty about it because I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. I just hope that his experience wasn't as miserable as mine.

I'm transplanting my response from the thread where you first asked the question.

Roger Morrison wrote:

When you look back on your mission do you feel any guilt or remorse for taking Mormonism into the lives of those who converted under your influence? Or, do you feel good in some/any degree about their new-life?

Hope you don't mind if I step in and respond to this, because I've given this some thought.

First off, my assumption (which, given the statistics, is very likely) is that everyone I converted quit not too long after I returned stateside. But I have definitely felt guilty for misleading people and for pressuring them into making commitments they didn't have enough information to make. I've felt the urge to correspond with them and tell them I was wrong, and that I now have much more respect for the religious traditions of their culture (Buddhism) than the one I taught them was the only way. I have not done so, of course.

However, to the extent that I was able to influence anyone to change self-destructive behavior (smoking, alcohol over-consumption), I'm happy for that. I'm also happy that I was occasionally able to offer friendship without conditions and expectations. I wish I could have done more of that.

I compare my mission to the perhaps tasteless joke about how you'd feel watching your mother-in-law going over a cliff in your brand new Mercedes - mixed emotions. Incidentally, my ex-mother-in-law and I get along fine.

It's something I'd never do again. But looking back over my old mission website recently, I'm sort of glad I met many of the missionaries and members I met on my mission. Many of them have left lasting (non-Gospel related) impressions on me, and even some of the people we tracted out, like Father Mick, a Catholic priest who became interested in Mormonism, and had the discussions in his presbytery. What might his parishoners have thought if they saw two Mormon missionaries teaching him?! He was genuinely curious and interested, and a very sincere man.

Another experience that stuck in my mind was when one of the Elders found a wallet, and returned it to the owner, who was mightly surprised at the Elder's honesty. He took the whole district out to dinner (six of us), and asked us to excuse his beer drinking. He was amused that all of us were called "Elder", which he jokingly pointed out to his wife - "look, dear, they all have the same first name". He was what I'd call a fair-dinkum Aussie with a heart of gold.

We taught all kinds, and sometimes were surprised at the kind of people who'd listen. Drug addicts, alcoholics, ex-crims, but we found it true that those most receptive came from the less advantaged areas.

I might add a bit more later, and I agree this is a great topic, Roger.

Well. I've made a LOT of money from having been fluent in Spanish. So it's hard to be too critical of my missionary experience. Plus, I love having had lived in Peru for a couple of years.

I do regret having been there for the reasons I was there. I also regret having had such bad interactions with so many Peruvians because I was a Mormon activist.

That's a shame.

However, overall... I'd do it again, albeit a little differently. I'd definitely shag a few of the girls that couldn't control themselves around me. They were sooooo gorgeous. So damn gorgeous. That's something I regret more than anything else. Egh. Can't think about it...

Anyway. It was fun, mostly. No regrets.

I left fully expecting to serve the standard 2 years, the rules changed at month 4 and I was only allowed to go for 18. I didn't want to go home at all. I felt like I was taken out behind the the mission home and shot the day that I went home. No kidding. For 20 years I had dreams where I would scheme on how I could go back to complete the full 2 years. So, if you asked me just several years ago, it would have taken me about 15 minutes to pack.

I missed the mission because I felt a deep sense of purpose. The mission had been a catalyst in helping me develop a deeper sense of love, empathy and compassion for others. At 18 months, I was just getting good at it. I knew those I taught, sensed my sincerity and anxious concern toward their welfare. That I still know.

Now, I am still feeling an overwhelming sense of betrayal by those I thought I could trust.
I'd rather jump off a cliff than to look someone in the eye and tell them something I now know in my heart is not really the way it is.

Although I hardly exemplify it here (ie. my vapid emnity towards apologists and those they apologise for), I'm the type of person that still gets a sense of purpose by throwing a starfish or two back in the water.

I feel pretty good about mine. I very quickly became able to defeat any other christian lay person or minister in religious debate. I was privileged to have a significant part in over 40 baptisms including whole familes. I am still in contact with most of them and there is not an apostate among them. In fact, there are several generations of missionaries, bishops, and stake presidents.

We baptized, white, black, latino, asian, jew, croatian, armenian, male, female, gay, and straight.

If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't fear it so much at the beginning. You know, the public speaking thing.

I have extremely mixed feelings about it.

I do feel, however, that I was able to influence several people's lives in a positive way, religion or no religion. I think that I left the world a slightly better place than I found it, Mormonism or no Mormonism.

I loved my mission and had a lot of really good times. We baptized a lot of families, old, young, etc. The only person that I personally got into in the font and baptized was a black gentleman who use to be a member of the blank panthers in San Francisco. We brought up the blacks and priesthood thing and he already knew all about it and was fine with it. A real golden contact and could not wait to be baptized. I wonder what he is up to these days.

It was towards the end of my mission when I figured out the the church was not everything it claimed to be when I got my hands on tanners "Mormonism, Shadow or Reality" Book from an investigator. Served the last month of my mission as a non-believer as I trained a new missionary.

I was very glad I served and glad I found out it was not true until the end otherwise it would have been very hard. Great memories and a great experience.

The only things I regret was being to obedient and not going to see Depeche Mode in concert like some of the other missionaries did.

Thanks everyone for your reply/replies. 'Tis good getting to know you.I was a dedicated Stake Missionary.
While the nights out cut into family time, they were well rewarded as ice melted and part-member-families united themselves in Church attendance. My two baptisms are not regreted really, although I now know they did/do not serve the purpose intended.
I often fondly recall the many Missionaries we joyously socialized, and wonder about them. We still do X-mas cards with our original one--with us for more than a year--and the other one who was part of the baptism episode...
More please. Any Lady Missionaries???
Roger
*
*