Petition to Ban Droopy From Using the Word "Philosophical"

[Guest]

1. JohnStuartMill
2. Kishkumen
3. Dr. Scratch
4. B23
5. harmony
6. Kevin Graham

[_Kishkumen]

1. JohnStuartMill

2. Kishkumen

Addendum: Mr. Drippy can only use the word philosophical in reference to his own bowel movements.

p.s. I once saw a great "Kids in the Hall" skit in which a guy was fired for compulsively using the word "ascertain" on the job. The number of times I have thought of this when interacting with Drippy I can't say... perhaps more than two dozen.

[_Doctor Scratch]

3. Dr. Scratch.

Half the time Droopy doesn't even seem to understand what the word means. He just tacks it on as a convenient adjective.

[_Bond James Bond]

"Intellectual" as well.

[_Kishkumen]

Half the time Droopy doesn't even seem to understand what the word means. He just tacks it on as a convenient adjective.

So true. And, I almost feel a real sense of pity. Sometimes I imagine Drippy to be this terribly lonely person. He's in his fifties. His wife is burrowing ever deeper into the sofa they rescued from their neighbor's curb as she drinks in "Dancing with the Stars." Drippy sits there at his ancient computer that he cobbled together from parts he found at D.I., tapping furiously at the keyboard until his wife screams for him to "quit making all of that infernal racket." The trailer just isn't big enough for any real privacy, but it made it much easier for him to kick the porn habit. He is slurping the juice from the bottom of a can of expired peach wedges, trying to lick the last drop of syrup from the jagged edge of its pealed back top without cutting his tongue. He reaches for his thesaurus, its outer margins caked in infinite layers of ancient saliva mixed with peach syrup to the point of being as brown as a turd. Tomorrow is another long day laying sod, and his one refuge from this hell he lives in is the righteous, orotund bellowing of Rush Limbaugh as he drives his beat up truck from yard to yard in Kershaw. The picture is almost poignant. Then you remember the guy is a real jerk wad.

[_harmony]

Then you remember the guy is a real jerk wad.

He's only a jerk wad if you actually read his posts. Really, Kish. I'm almost ashamed of you. Did you never listen to your momma when she told you to not play with your food?

[_Kevin Graham]

I haven't read a droopy post in many months. But I remember it used to help to read his posts in the voice of Elmer Fudd.

[_JohnStuartMill]

[_Jersey Girl]

Half the time Droopy doesn't even seem to understand what the word means. He just tacks it on as a convenient adjective.

So true. And, I almost feel a real sense of pity. Sometimes I imagine Drippy to be this terribly lonely person. He's in his fifties. His wife is burrowing ever deeper into the sofa they rescued from their neighbor's curb as she drinks in "Dancing with the Stars." Drippy sits there at his ancient computer that he cobbled together from parts he found at D.I., tapping furiously at the keyboard until his wife screams for him to "quit making all of that infernal racket." The trailer just isn't big enough for any real privacy, but it made it much easier for him to kick the porn habit. He is slurping the juice from the bottom of a can of expired peach wedges, trying to lick the last drop of syrup from the jagged edge of its pealed back top without cutting his tongue. He reaches for his thesaurus, its outer margins caked in infinite layers of ancient saliva mixed with peach syrup to the point of being as brown as a turd. Tomorrow is another long day laying sod, and his one refuge from this hell he lives in is the righteous, orotund bellowing of Rush Limbaugh as he drives his beat up truck from yard to yard in Kershaw. The picture is almost poignant. Then you remember the guy is a real jerk wad.

Real stand-up of you, Kish. Seriously.

[_JohnStuartMill]

I'm gonna put B23, harmony, and Kevin Graham on this list too, unless they request otherwise.