"Stone Box" Apologetics

[_Gadianton]

Just a fun exercise here. Consider this thread:

http://www.mormonapologetics.org/topic/ ... ld-plates/

The junior apologists are debating the missing stone box that housed the Gold Plates that Joseph Smith took from Cumorah. The thread is kind of a riot, with everything from Sevenbak charging the dog for eating the homework to TheSometimesSaint trying to sound sage like with his "it was not needed" explanation. (because when the Lord is done with his Perrier bottles, they just disappear, he doesn't have to haul them to the curb like I do and get woken up by bums stealing them at 1:00 a.m.)

Anyway, for all of you who are students of the mopologist mindset, I invite you to vote on your favorite "stone box" apologetic. And further, please do explain why the answer you chose is better than the other answers using mopologetic logic to the best of your abilities.

If we get at least three responses here, I will judge them and announce a winner. Since none of these answers can be supported by any kind of evidence whatsoever, the grading criteria will be based upon the best use of mopologetic hand-waving, polemics, gossiping, rhetoric, appeals to the authority of FARMS, testimony, or other favorite mopologetic tactic.

[_Jersey Girl]

That the box "wasn't needed" doesn't account for what happened to it.

I disagree with all three choices.

The stone box was buried in a localized flood that ravaged the area with torrential rains/mud slides and is now a part of the fossil record.

[_Trevor]

More logical fallacies. Who says the stone box ever even existed?

[_Dr. Shades]

The "washed down the hill" is the best one because it relies on naturalistic forces. Highly unlikely ones, mind you, but naturalistic nonetheless.

[_Gazelam]

I'm going from memory here, but isn't there a journal entry from the time that states that the box had in fact "slid down the hill?".

[_Polygamy-Porter]

The "washed down the hill" is the best one because it relies on naturalistic forces. Highly unlikely ones, mind you, but naturalistic nonetheless.

Wow, my original RANT!

Where is that goddamned stone box?

Yeah, the one that lasted 1400 YEARS!

Let's see, it not only remained intact for 1400 years, but hermatically sealed out all of the elements for 1400 lake effect snow driven winters, 1400 rainy springs, 1400 hot humid summers, 1400 year of plant/tree root growth..

But suddenly, the box is opened, oh yeah, then closed for 4 more years of well the above, but then just few years after old Joe and his native american spirit buddy open it up for the second time, it CRUMBLES and is WASHED DOWN the hill side?

BULL crap

That supposed stone box would be an engineering MARVEL and would have still existed today, only ~175 years later.

Yeah there's your challenge, master FARMer Danny! Run that stone box story up the flag pole of non Mormon peer review.

You will be laughed out of.... oh wait that has already happened..

[_Polygamy-Porter]

That the box "wasn't needed" doesn't account for what happened to it.

I disagree with all three choices.

The stone box was buried in a localized flood that ravaged the area with torrential rains/mud slides and is now a part of the fossil record.

You do realize the supposed spot for the box was on a good sized HILL?

I don't recall any major great lake sized floods in the up state NY area since 1823..

Plus fossilization takes a much long time.

Bzzzzt!

[_JohnStuartMill]

"It was no longer needed" is clearly the best answer. It sums up the magical thinking that's necessary for a belief in Mormonism so, so well.

[_Polygamy-Porter]

Wow.

I the arguments that Joseph Antley presents in his thread are spot on with my arguments that I presented years ago.


It appears there is no real answer and seems to startle many who "never thought of that"..

Yeah, can't show the plates to outside unbiased unrelated parties.. why not show them the crappy old stone box??

Perhaps the stone box story developed over the years, kinda like the first vision stories?

I mean if I were Emma's dad and my daughter's scumbag treasure digging lazyass husband said he found magical gold plates in a stone box on the hill RIGHT NEXT TO HIS PARENTS HOUSE, I'd be for hiking up there and looking. The hill wasn't that large and at the time was nearly void of any trees, even though many mo'llustrations show the hill to be covered in large old growth trees... hell even the recent facade "The Restoration" depict the hill covered in large trees..

Anyways, the stone box is a stumbling box, err block for mopologists.

EDIT to add: After reading his thread and his blog, I am adding him to my list of defenders-about-to-defect.

This stone box thing is really bugging him..

Let me know when I get to play the Queen song!

And another one's gone, and another one's gone, another one bites the dust!

[_Joseph Antley]

EDIT to add: After reading his thread and his blog, I am adding him to my list of defenders-about-to-defect.

This stone box thing is really bugging him..

Let me know when I get to play the Queen song!

And another one's gone, and another one's gone, another one bites the dust!

I've gotta admit, I thought this was pretty amusing.