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[Rikiti]

.

[_Polygamy-Porter]

How did you tell your loved ones of your apostacy? So far every time I have done it is like I have broken a heart. It is like a part of you dies, your relationships will never be the same again.

I did it rather abruptly.

I saw the black and white evidence and figured all I had to do was show them.

Worked like a magic charm on my older RM brother. "I have had doubts since my mission!" Everything I showed him instantly clicked into place. Like the 10 pieces of his puzzle were found by me and he quickly snapped em into place. Boom he saw the big picture. LDS church is a FRAUD.

That did not work on my younger RM brother or my wife. For a year or so.

My younger RM brother had ear muffs made from jesus jammies and a garment blindfold on.

Jesus was holding my wife's heart and was not letting it beat completely.

Over time though I was able to help them both to see the big picture. Kinda ironic that the brother who did not serve a mission was the one who got his two RM brothers to LEAVE. Both of their wives and kids are all out of the cult now.

My younger brother then took the message of the gospel truth to his wife's family. All are out except his mother in law, her husband, and his father in law.

Counting all of the testimonkie corpses, from my the three families that I affected, I count over 30. I should make a coat from all of the warm fuzzies fur from all the dead testimonkies.

[Rikiti]

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[_Polygamy-Porter]

30 huh? What type of beliefs do they have now? It is interesting to see how exmos see their new reality.

Some are social Christians, but my two brothers, their wives and kids along with my wife and kids, I'd say we are agnostic leaning atheists.

But seriously, none of us really care. Why spend time worrying about something that none of us know anything about?

Live your life for when you are ALIVE and not for after you are DEAD.

[_Trevor]

Live your life for when you are ALIVE and not for after you are DEAD.

Now there is a nugget of real wisdom.

[_thews]

How did you tell your loved ones of your apostacy? So far every time I have done it is like I have broken a heart. It is like a part of you dies, your relationships will never be the same again.

The question is why? If someone in my family decided to chage their religion, it's their choice and wouldn't bother me in the slightest. You are probably correct that your relationships won't be the same, but it's not because of you, it's because of them. If you decide to do something with your life, it's your choice, so don't feel guilt. Part of Mormonism is blind obedience, and parents get rewarded from their children's Mormon choices... it's how a cult works.

My advice is just be you and life your life... if they have issues and try and guilt you back, don't engage, but just ask that they accept you for you and respect your choice to live as you choose to.

[_Seven]

How did you tell your loved ones of your apostacy? So far every time I have done it is like I have broken a heart. It is like a part of you dies, your relationships will never be the same again.

Hi Ezias,

I never did any reading or searching for answers to my doubts without sharing it first with my husband. He was there and witnessed my shock at learning church history, the sickness, and tears. We went to the Bishop together. He was involved in finding FAIR and FARMS articles for me, and asking questions of members who might help. I know that sharing the journey with my husband is the reason he has been so supportive and understanding of my new beliefs.

I think it's a very big risk to a marriage if a spouse bombs them one day with their conclusion that the church isn't true. If my spouse had done that to me, I would probably feel a loss of security and trust in the marriage, and put up a wall to the critical information he shared.

If a person has already lost their testimony and hasn't shared the journey with their spouse, then I would recommend going back in baby steps by asking questions as if you are a Chapel Mormon in the early stages of disillusionment.


Telling my extended family members has not gone as well. Those relationships will never be the same. :(

[_cinepro]

How did you tell your loved ones of your apostacy? So far every time I have done it is like I have broken a heart. It is like a part of you dies, your relationships will never be the same again.

Early on, I copied this essay and "adapted" it to more closely reflect my state of belief:

When a Loved One Has Let Go of the Iron Rod

I think it helped them understand certain things that have made the subsequent years easier.

[_Polygamy-Porter]

Telling my extended family members has not gone as well. Those relationships will never be the same. :(

This is due to the conditioning of the membership.

The relationship that our family has with my wife's family is different.

My FIL said he will be Christlike through this. Nice guy that Jesus.

I took the stand for my kids. I told my wife, that our children will be with us longer and around us much more than her parents. Therefore we needed to make our decisions with that in mind.

My FIL had a devastating mental breakdown. He tried to stave himself to death and almost died from kidney failure to to lack of water.

While my wife and I saw it as pressure from his entire life that drove him mad, his TBM wife and kids pointed the finger of blame firmly at our apostasy.

My wife was the one who stayed by his bed the most and worked with him the most while he was in the psyche ward. Meanwhile the TBMs were at the temple putting his name on the stupid ass prayer rolls. "Heavenly Father is just testing him" was their belief.

Given all that I have gone through with this thus far, would I still have do it?

HELL YES. My family, my kids, our future. Job one for me is the future of my wife and kids.

After 15 electrotherapy sessions, a year later and my FIL was back to his usual self. Still on a cocktail of psych pills and such, but back to being Grandpa.

[_Seven]

My FIL had a devastating mental breakdown. He tried to stave himself to death and almost died from kidney failure to to lack of water.

While my wife and I saw it as pressure from his entire life that drove him mad, his TBM wife and kids pointed the finger of blame firmly at our apostasy.

That is awful.

I never shared the extent of my new beliefs with extended family so I can only imagine how they would react if my spouse and I apostatized from the church. Just asking critical questions and expressing my abhorrence to polygamy and racism in the church was enough to get me almost black listed from the family. Once they saw the non faith promoting books I was reading (Mormon Enigma, In Sacred Loneliness), they viewed me as a traitor.

I went inactive for a few years and learned the hard way that my only worth as a human being to in laws is my activity in "the church."