Russell M. Nelson's New Revelation-Farmer's Field is Zarahemla!

[kairos]

President Newsroom and Deseret Books on Monday August 2, 2021 will be issuing a new revision to Russell M. Nelson's biography by Sheri Don't ( I mean Dew).

This revision will incorporate more details of an alleged true event that happened to President Nelson on November 11th ,1976. The story told by President Nelson has in other places been called,among other things, the "death spiral dive and miraculous recovery of a small two engine plane" story in blogs and discussion boards across the Mormon world and has been picked up in the secular media as well.

The revision comes about as Miss Dew re-interviewd Russell M. Nelson because of thousands of allegations by TBM's and exmormons that the story contained erroneous information about the event with many exmormons accusing Russell M. Nelson of deceit, embellishment, lying and that Russell M. Nelson is actually Paul Dunn risen from the dead.

However the re-interview CONFIRMS everything Nelson recounted in the present biography as surely true, but adds a "bombshell" new revelation by the Mormon prophet.

The bombshell new revelation from President Nelson is that he vividly recalls that once the plane came out of the death dive spiral , and the plane was gliding to safety onto a farmer's field in Delta, Utah , President Nelson was told in a loud voice (needed to overcome noise from the recovered second engine ) by an angel, who was sitting on the fire destroyed first engine on the right wing, that the farmer's field was the center town plaza of Zarahemla of olden times in the Book of Mormon. President Nelson sign languaged the angel to repeat what Nelson thought he heard. The angel said he was the angel Apacheroni who is in charge of fleets of angels and the oil and gased soaked angel confirmed that the field was definitely Zarahemla. With that Apacheroni disappeared into the sky and Nelson noticed a slight limp in his right wing as he glided off. On the ground Nelson had an impression he should not mention the Zarahemla part of the story until 2021. He told Dew in the re-interview that he has kept that covenant.

With the new revelation on the location of Zarahemla, insiders at the Interpreter and at Sic et Non believe the pressure will be off of trying to explain anymore on the death dive spiral parts of the story.

Deseret Book added it will rush the revision to print and but the cost of the book will be raised by $10 per copy-sales should be brisk according to Ms Dew or Don't ( you choose).

k

[Philo Sofee]

I think a more authentically sounding Hebrew Angel name would help out here...

[malkie]

...
The bombshell new revelation from President Nelson is that he vividly recalls that once the plane came out of the death dive spiral , and the plane was gliding to safety onto a farmer's field in Delta, Utah , President Nelson was told in a loud voice (needed to overcome noise from the recovered second engine ) by an angel, who was sitting on the fire destroyed first engine on the right wing, that the farmer's field was the center town plaza of Zarahemla of olden times in the Book of Mormon. President Nelson sign languaged the angel to repeat what Nelson thought he heard. The angel said he was the angel Apacheroni who is in charge of fleets of angels and the oil and gased soaked angel confirmed that the field was definitely Zarahemla. With that Apacheroni disappeared into the sky and Nelson noticed a slight limp in his right wing as he glided off. On the ground Nelson had an impression he should not mention the Zarahemla part of the story until 2021. He told Dew in the re-interview that he has kept that covenant.

With the new revelation on the location of Zarahemla, insiders at the Interpreter and at Sic et Non believe the pressure will be off of trying to explain anymore on the death dive spiral parts of the story.

Deseret Book added it will rush the revision to print and but the cost of the book will be raised by $10 per copy-sales should be brisk according to Ms Dew or Don't ( you choose).

k

Didn't Mark Hofmann discover a letter that prophesied that this would take place? But instead of an angel on the burnt-out engine, it was an axolotl?

Ask Dallin Oaks how an angel can appear like an axolotl - he has a good explanation.

[SaturdaysVoyeur]

What?!? Impossible! Angels don't have wings!!

[Philo Sofee]

What?!? Impossible! Angels don't have wings!!

Yes they do! I have seen the paintings!!!

[SaturdaysVoyeur]

What?!? Impossible! Angels don't have wings!!

Yes they do! I have seen the paintings!!!

Well....well....I've actually passed through the veil and seen the angels themselves!!

*mic drop*

Anybody else remember a testimony meeting where somebody trumped every argument with a claim to have "passed through the veil and seen [whatever]" for themselves?

Ah....memories....

[Philo Sofee]

Ah goodtime Saturday! Yeah the ole I am more spiritual than you contests... I miss those days. I mean come on, ya gotta admit some of those lil ole grey haired ladies had some fantastic events occur!

[Moksha]

Anybody else remember a testimony meeting where somebody trumped every argument with a claim to have "passed through the veil and seen [whatever]" for themselves?

Ah....memories....

Was that the one with a burning plane plummeting out of the sky and landing in a farmer's field?

[Dr Exiled]

Yes they do! I have seen the paintings!!!

Well....well....I've actually passed through the veil and seen the angels themselves!!

*mic drop*

Anybody else remember a testimony meeting where somebody trumped every argument with a claim to have "passed through the veil and seen [whatever]" for themselves?

Ah....memories....

It's funny you say that. I just passed through the veil last night and besides Mormonism being completely false, I saw them preparing for Midgely's future court of love up there. It seems like he will have to answer for his stalking a certain Kiwi Mormon and her husband among other offenses and general nastiness.

Sorry Midge, maybe there is time to go around an apologize for your various offenses. It might take a bit but perhaps it'll be worth it?

[huckelberry]

This story has to be spoof because it has been demonstrated that the actual location of Zarahemla is in Delaware or very close to Delaware.