I am going to stay away from the word "atheist" because of the negative connotations that it brings, but I am curious to know if there is anyone on this board who has made a decision to continue actively attending church despite having lost their belief in god?
It's a long story, but suffice it to say that I become a closeted non-believer; convinced that the best explanations for our existence and the existence of the Universe are found in science. And I believe that the more we learn about our world and the universe, the less of a roll supernatural origins play in it.
Despite this, I remain fully active in the LDS Church. Firstly, because it would be devastating to my wife and my family if I were to leave the church. But secondly, because I sincerely enjoy it. I enjoy the friendships I have with other members of our ward. I enjoy the principles of morality and service that are taught. I enjoy the church's central focus on the family and raising children in a loving household.
Is there anyone else on this board in a similar position? If so, I would love to hear your story.
Active non-believing Mormons?
Re: Active non-believing Mormons?
I can't speak directly to this issue, but I would recommend that you check out StayLDS.com, New Order Mormons, and John Dehlin's Mormon Stories podcast.
“I was hooked from the start,” Snoop Dogg said. “We talked about the purpose of life, played Mousetrap, and ate brownies. The kids thought it was off the hook, for real.”
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_epiginosko
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Re: Active non-believing Mormons?
@Trevor - I definitely will. Thanks for the recommendations.
Re: Active non-believing Mormons?
epiginosko wrote:@Trevor - I definitely will. Thanks for the recommendations.
By the way, is there a "g" missing from your handle, or am I remembering incorrectly?
“I was hooked from the start,” Snoop Dogg said. “We talked about the purpose of life, played Mousetrap, and ate brownies. The kids thought it was off the hook, for real.”
Re: Active non-believing Mormons?
epiginosko wrote:Despite this, I remain fully active in the LDS Church. Firstly, because it would be devastating to my wife and my family if I were to leave the church. But secondly, because I sincerely enjoy it. I enjoy the friendships I have with other members of our ward. I enjoy the principles of morality and service that are taught. I enjoy the church's central focus on the family and raising children in a loving household.
Is there anyone else on this board in a similar position? If so, I would love to hear your story.
Welcome to the board.
I'm curious as to how you handle your situation. Do you have a calling? Children? Does your livelihood depend on you being a member of the church?
(Nevo, Jan 23) And the Melchizedek Priesthood may not have been restored until the summer of 1830, several months after the organization of the Church.
Re: Active non-believing Mormons?
Once I realized that the stuff I was digging up on the internet had fairly well destroyed any testimony I had, I went to my Bishop and sat down with him several times, asking him the hard questions. He wasn't familiar with most of it, and after the second visit, he sent me to another Bishop who had an advanced degree in LDS history.
He was very gracious, and he was fully invested in the church, but to make this short, let me say that in leaving his office I was more convinced that ever that the church was founded on a fraud engineered by Joseph Smith.
My bishop asked me to continue teaching the 16-17 year old Sunday-School class until he could find a replacement (or until I found I could not continue). Since I could not in good conscience teach those kids (one of whom was my eldest son) the history as presented in the lesson manual, because I knew that it was dishonest in what it was leaving out and outright misrepresenting, I would instead just talk with them and play hangman.
Shortly thereafter, I was fully released. It coincided with a period of frequent travel for my job, so the issue of 'not going' was made somewhat moot for a while. For about a year, though, I would make a point of not going, but would occasionally go with my wife. She still likes it when I go with her.
I couldn't bear the thought of just going along... it felt so dishonest to me. The bishop is fully aware of my position, but he was not able to offer anything which refuted the many issues I had presented. So... I supposed he accepted that I was gone. We remain on good terms. About the only change has been that I only attend occasionally, and then only to Sacrament Meeting (where I do not take the Sacrament, by the way), and the fact that the Elder's quorum has handed my family off to the High Priests.
I heartily welcome the HT's into my home as friends, as indeed they are. When it is time to have a closing prayer, I defer to them to make that choice. So far, when I am there, they do not present the first-presidency's message, which is good, because, although I would listen, I would also feel uninhibited in offering any, um... analysis... that I might feel is appropriate. And, because I think they all realize that, that is probably why they reserve those messages for when I'm on travel.
My wife and children don't like me being an apostate, but we are making the best of a tough situation. Some well-meaning folks have suggested to me on occasion, that I should just play along, accept a calling, pay my tithing, and hope that I get my testimony back. I think that many people, myself included, find that idea to be untenable.
So... I am an apostate. I know the church isn't true. But, I attend as often as my wife asks me to, to be with her and make her happy. I am genuinely glad, on those Sundays, to see the ward members with whom I have become friends over the years. Some are more distant now, or they apply a demeanor of exaggerated caution which I find a little off-putting, but so-far, nobody has gotten nasty with me.
Time will tell, but I thing I may have found a groove here, and it ain't so bad.
He was very gracious, and he was fully invested in the church, but to make this short, let me say that in leaving his office I was more convinced that ever that the church was founded on a fraud engineered by Joseph Smith.
My bishop asked me to continue teaching the 16-17 year old Sunday-School class until he could find a replacement (or until I found I could not continue). Since I could not in good conscience teach those kids (one of whom was my eldest son) the history as presented in the lesson manual, because I knew that it was dishonest in what it was leaving out and outright misrepresenting, I would instead just talk with them and play hangman.
Shortly thereafter, I was fully released. It coincided with a period of frequent travel for my job, so the issue of 'not going' was made somewhat moot for a while. For about a year, though, I would make a point of not going, but would occasionally go with my wife. She still likes it when I go with her.
I couldn't bear the thought of just going along... it felt so dishonest to me. The bishop is fully aware of my position, but he was not able to offer anything which refuted the many issues I had presented. So... I supposed he accepted that I was gone. We remain on good terms. About the only change has been that I only attend occasionally, and then only to Sacrament Meeting (where I do not take the Sacrament, by the way), and the fact that the Elder's quorum has handed my family off to the High Priests.
I heartily welcome the HT's into my home as friends, as indeed they are. When it is time to have a closing prayer, I defer to them to make that choice. So far, when I am there, they do not present the first-presidency's message, which is good, because, although I would listen, I would also feel uninhibited in offering any, um... analysis... that I might feel is appropriate. And, because I think they all realize that, that is probably why they reserve those messages for when I'm on travel.
My wife and children don't like me being an apostate, but we are making the best of a tough situation. Some well-meaning folks have suggested to me on occasion, that I should just play along, accept a calling, pay my tithing, and hope that I get my testimony back. I think that many people, myself included, find that idea to be untenable.
So... I am an apostate. I know the church isn't true. But, I attend as often as my wife asks me to, to be with her and make her happy. I am genuinely glad, on those Sundays, to see the ward members with whom I have become friends over the years. Some are more distant now, or they apply a demeanor of exaggerated caution which I find a little off-putting, but so-far, nobody has gotten nasty with me.
Time will tell, but I thing I may have found a groove here, and it ain't so bad.
eschew obfuscation
"I'll let you believers in on a little secret: not only is the LDS church not really true, it's obviously not true." -Sethbag
"I'll let you believers in on a little secret: not only is the LDS church not really true, it's obviously not true." -Sethbag
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_epiginosko
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Re: Active non-believing Mormons?
harmony wrote:epiginosko wrote:Welcome to the board.
I'm curious as to how you handle your situation. Do you have a calling? Children? Does your livelihood depend on you being a member of the church?
Thank you for the welcome. I do not currently have a calling, having recently been released from the Young Men's Presidency. In the past, I have served in the Bishopric, High Priest Group Leadership, Ward Mission Leader, Newsletter, and Financial Clerk. I have three children, ages 3 to 6. My livelihood does not depend on being a member of the church. I work for Toyota.
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_sethpayne
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Re: Active non-believing Mormons?
epiginosko wrote:I am going to stay away from the word "atheist" because of the negative connotations that it brings, but I am curious to know if there is anyone on this board who has made a decision to continue actively attending church despite having lost their belief in god?
It's a long story, but suffice it to say that I become a closeted non-believer; convinced that the best explanations for our existence and the existence of the Universe are found in science. And I believe that the more we learn about our world and the universe, the less of a roll supernatural origins play in it.
Despite this, I remain fully active in the LDS Church. Firstly, because it would be devastating to my wife and my family if I were to leave the church. But secondly, because I sincerely enjoy it. I enjoy the friendships I have with other members of our ward. I enjoy the principles of morality and service that are taught. I enjoy the church's central focus on the family and raising children in a loving household.
Is there anyone else on this board in a similar position? If so, I would love to hear your story.
Hi epiginosko,
I am a fairly active non-believing Mormon. I am still a theist although I make no claims to know who/what/how God is.
I'm single with no kids and I'm open about my non-belief with my Bishop, Home Teachers and pretty much anyone who knows me at Church. I certainly don't advertise it, but I don't hide it either.
I enjoy the community aspects of the Church. I like the service projects and hanging out with the guys in EQ. I'm lucky to live in a very accepting ward. My Bishop is great. He has told me that he hopes my belief will return someday and I genuinely appreciate his sentiment because it is coming from a place of sincerity and love.
One nice thing about being an open non-believer is that I don't get any of the callings that require any hard work! :) I lead the music occasionally and I play the violin in Sacrament meeting but I don't expect to be called to teach Sunday School anytime soon. Having said that, I have an open atheist friend in Utah who teaches EQ regularly.
Seth
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_Yahoo Bot
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Re: Active non-believing Mormons?
I often have friends and ward members wanting to confide in me of their unbelief because of my perceived, and wrongfully so I might add, deep knowledge of Mormon problems.
Some really good people hang in there with activity and I admire them. In large part, they do it because they believe the Church's youth program will help their kids, or perhaps provide community support for a handicapped child.
One good friend of mine who doesn't believe is the first one out for service projects, "Helping Hands" projects, city cleanup day, working at the homeless shelter because he finds the Church's organized activities for Christian service a good way to be of service rather than lying around.
I've also observed that divorce plays a huge part in the dynamic of whether a non-believer will be active.
I've also observed that the non-believer has never made the attempt to internalize the meaning and message of Jesus Christ, and has his entire life just been sucked along with the social aspects of Mormonism.
Some really good people hang in there with activity and I admire them. In large part, they do it because they believe the Church's youth program will help their kids, or perhaps provide community support for a handicapped child.
One good friend of mine who doesn't believe is the first one out for service projects, "Helping Hands" projects, city cleanup day, working at the homeless shelter because he finds the Church's organized activities for Christian service a good way to be of service rather than lying around.
I've also observed that divorce plays a huge part in the dynamic of whether a non-believer will be active.
I've also observed that the non-believer has never made the attempt to internalize the meaning and message of Jesus Christ, and has his entire life just been sucked along with the social aspects of Mormonism.
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_Willy Law
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Re: Active non-believing Mormons?
I would 2nd the suggestion to go to the New Order Mormon Site. While a majority of the active posters there no longer attend church there is a large portion that do. I know there are two bishops that are fairly active posters right now. Neither believe that the church is "true" although I do not know about their belief in God. That was my main support community when I tumbled down the rabbit hole.
I am, for now, fairly active. We try and go about once a month or so and if you asked members of our ward they would say we are active members. I cannot continue, in good conscience, to pay tithing however and my biggest worry is my kids. I agree with Bob that the youth system teaches many great lessons. It also stresses above all else the importance of marrying a member, going on a mission etc. I have seen cases on NOM where a parent goes apostate, child stays active marries a TBM and that TBM wants their children to have nothing to do with their apostate grandparents.
Best of luck
I am, for now, fairly active. We try and go about once a month or so and if you asked members of our ward they would say we are active members. I cannot continue, in good conscience, to pay tithing however and my biggest worry is my kids. I agree with Bob that the youth system teaches many great lessons. It also stresses above all else the importance of marrying a member, going on a mission etc. I have seen cases on NOM where a parent goes apostate, child stays active marries a TBM and that TBM wants their children to have nothing to do with their apostate grandparents.
Best of luck
It is my province to teach to the Church what the doctrine is. It is your province to echo what I say or to remain silent.
Bruce R. McConkie
Bruce R. McConkie