Out standing friend- out standing on temple grounds

[_Polygamy-Porter]

My my wife asked me to try an experiment of being tbm for a week and i agreed as long as she tries being atheist for the next week. It is all in the name of science and experimentation.

Damn that could mean some hot sex for you Z.

[_Polygamy-Porter]

As one who has been born again, regenerated, trusts in Christ, just what is it that I would not be worthy of that would cause my friend to have to have me stand outside the temple as she/he weds?

The only asses allowed in the green and white pajama parties are the asses wrapped in a garment sling.

So, get your ass in a garment sling and poof you are in.

Otherwise, search youtube for some great insider views of the silly ceremony.

Seriously, you are not missing crap.

The Mormon temple marriage ceremony is far more about some old fossil blathering on about the pure lineage of the goddamned priesthood from Jesus to Joe, to the grooms grampa, to his dad, to him.. than it is about two people publicly marking the commitment to each other as they start their lives together.

Leave it to a bunch of old polygamist descendants to take the joy and beauty out of a wedding ceremony.

[_Ella Menno]

Seriously, you are not missing s***.

The Mormon temple marriage ceremony is far more about some old fossil blathering on about the pure lineage of the goddamned priesthood from Jesus to Joe, to the grooms grampa, to his dad, to him.. than it is about two people publicly marking the commitment to each other as they start their lives together.

Leave it to a bunch of old polygamist descendants to take the joy and beauty out of a wedding ceremony.

As I recall, I "gave" myself to my husband, and he "took" me, but he didn't do any "giving" himself. So there was no mutual commitment, just commitment on the wife's part. Sounds like he's free to take more wives. Dang.

Really the only thing you're missing is the stuff that comes out of the fossilized sealer, which can be entertaining or bat s**t crazy. The last sealing I went to the sealer went off for at least 10 minutes on prop 8 and the evils of homosexuality. Then he said some sexist stuff that I wish I could remember verbatim about the wife submiting to the husband and how wonderful the Proclamation on the Family is. It was incredibly uncomfortable even for the hardcore TBMs in the room. Fun times.

[_Polygamy-Porter]

As I recall, I "gave" myself to my husband, and he "took" me, but he didn't do any "giving" himself. So there was no mutual commitment, just commitment on the wife's part. Sounds like he's free to take more wives.

Oh man I have been out of the church for some time now.. so long I am forgetting the BS in the temple.

Yes, I remember that part of the wife giving herself to the man..

May I ask when you were married? Or at least pre or post 1990 changes?

[_Ella Menno]

Post. Late '90s. That recent sealing had the same wording.

[_MsJack]

A friend of mine has claimed that it was recently changed to "give and receive" for the woman while the man is still just "receive." Other people have denied that this change was made.

I really need to get my husband to go do a proxy sealing sometime and check for me.

by the way, Ella, welcome to the forum.

[_Brackite]

I am Not able to answers all those Questions correctly. I will likely Never be able to enter into a Mormon Temple again. Does this mean that I am going to hell?

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

1 Do you have faith in and a testimony of God the Eternal Father, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost?

No. I think they're the imaginary friends of adults who never learn to reconcile their existential crises.

2 Do you have a testimony of the Atonement of Christ and of His role as Savior and Redeemer?

No. I think expiating one's sins via a blood sacrifice is morose, insane, and stupid.

3 Do you have a testimony of the restoration of the gospel in these the latter days?

No. I think it is a fraud perpetrated by a cabal of men who were systematically forced out by Joseph Smith and his family in an attempt to consolidate power (ie, money). Brigham Young subsequently did the same thing after Joseph Smith's murder.

4 Do you sustain the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as the Prophet, Seer, and Revelator and as the only person on the earth who possesses and is authorized to exercise all priesthood keys? Do you sustain members of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles as prophets, seers, and revelators? Do you sustain the other General Authorities and local authorities of the Church?

No. I think these business men aren't inspired (as demonstrated by the monstrous mall project in downtown SLC), don't receive revelation from their fictitious deity, nor do I recognize their authority to exercise dominion over anyone or anything. That responsibility lies with our secular government.

5 Do you live the law of chastity?

No. While I am married to a very attractive woman I frequently enjoy the beauty and eroticism offered of nude women by the Internet. I do admit that is a weakness of mine I don't intend to cure any time soon.

6 Is there anything in your conduct relating to members of your family that is not in harmony with the teachings of the Church?

Yes. I don't communicate with my Mormon brother who is very weird. I don't communicate with my father, who, after suffering a stroke lost his mental capacity to reason and lived with another 65 year-old woman for companionship. Mormon Elders excommunicated him for “living in sin”. He had given over 50 years of faithful service and hard-earned tithes to a church that cast him aside with no compunction nor caring for his state. What a shame.

7 Do you support, affiliate with, or agree with any group or individual whose teachings or practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

Absolutely. I’m just glad Mormons don’t have jihadist doctrines. Oh my.

8 Do you strive to keep the covenants you have made, to attend your sacrament and other meetings, and to keep your life in harmony with the laws and commandments of the gospel?

No. I realized the Mormon Church was similar to Animal Farm by Joseph Heller, and couldn’t stand the silliness.

9 Are you honest in your dealings with your fellowmen?

Yes. Unfortunately I’m too honest, and I tend to hurt peoples’ feelings quite often. Oh my. A good example would be Mr. Eric. He had a full-blown meltdown, and I couldn’t abide by his smear campaign simply because we share ex-Mormonism as a commonality. He subsequently acted out. That tends to happen when you’re honest with people.

10 Are you a full-tithe payer?

Yes. I pay tithes to myself. It’s called a Savings Account.

11 Do your keep the Word of Wisdom?

No. Absolutely not!

12 Do you have financial or other obligations to a former spouse or children? If yes, are you current in meeting those obligations?

Yes. Of course.

13 If you have previously received your temple endowment:

Do you keep the covenants that you made in the temple?
Do you wear the garment both night and day as instructed in the endowment and in accordance with the covenant you made in the temple?

No. Absolutely not. I would never slit my throat, or have my bowels spilt upon the ground. That’s insane.

14 Have there been any sins or misdeeds in your life that should have been resolved with priesthood authorities but have not been?

No. I don’t recognize their supposed authority.

15 Do you consider yourself worthy to enter the Lord's house and participate in temple ordinances?

Yes. I think if a god exists It would enjoy my skepticism, inquiring mind, and ability to distinguish between fact and fiction. However, I think Its followers would disagree with me.

[_malkie]

...

10 Are you a full-tithe payer?

I wouldn't give a Goddmamn penny to The Church of Jesus Christ of rats & snakes.

Did you just get the name wrong, after chastising someone else for not getting it right?

My old Branch President told me it was "The Church of Cheese and Rice of Rattle-day Snakes".

[_Jason Bourne]

I could not do that Zeezrom. I'd be denying Christ if I did.

Being LDS is hardly denying Christ.