The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics, 2010

[_Doctor Scratch]

2010 was a remarkably interesting year in the world of Mopologetics. In general, the state of LDS apologetics wrapping up the first decade of the new millennium can be summed up by a single word: retreat. If anything, 2010 saw the apologists seeking to lower lows and deeper depressions than I ever would have thought possible.

So, without further ado, and in celebration of this holiday season, I, the B.H. Chair of Mopologetic Studies at Cassius University, give to you the Top Ten Happenings of Mopologetics, 2010 (with one event pilfered from 2009, since it didn't make last year's list).

10. The Continued Attacks on Rodney Meldrum After a brief pause (presumably due to pressures from Temple Square), the apologists renewed their bellicose assault on the work of Rodney Meldrum and FIRM. 2010 started quietly with respect to Meldrum, though 2009 wrapped up with a vicious campaign led by FARMS "Emperor" Louis Midgley against the FIRM leader. More than halfway through the year, though, Mopologetic "Kingpin" Daniel C. Peterson began to leak news of an impending blitzkrieg against the faithful Latter-day Saint. This attack finally emerged in the form of Dr. Greg "Goldblum" Smith's bloated and ineffectual smear piece on Meldrum in the FARMS Review. As to whether or not Meldrum will be given a chance to reply in the Review, the jury is still out.

9. The Apostasy of Darth J. The apologists created one of their most formidable new enemies in the form of the poster known as Darth J. Stunningly erudite, and with an encyclopedic knowledge of apologetic issues seeming at his fingertips, Darth J. has made mincemeat out of every apologist who's been stupid enough to confront him. Dr. Darth J., a professor at Cassius University, has noted that the aptly named MADboard played a pivotal role in leading him out of the LDS Church.

8. Rumors of Budget Cuts at the Maxwell Institute In late 2009 / early 2010, allegations began to surface that BYU officials had ordered the Maxwell Institute (especially FARMS) to drastically slash its budget, going from some $20 million per year down to some $5 million. DCP vigorouly denied the allegations, and yet his response was so over-the-top that a number of questions and suspicions were raised. Namely: Was he afraid that people might believe the rumors? Or, were the rumors true, and was he engaged in a smoke-screen?

7. Scott Gordon Gets a Visit from the "Oaks Faction" Amidst rumors of divided factions within the ranks of the General Authorities, FAIR President Scott Gordon was mysteriously "visited" by Elder Dallin H. Oaks---rumored to be one of the leaders among the Brethren who favor attack-oriented Mopologetics. According to an anonymous "informant," Oaks had been sent to deliver orders that FAIR was to "tone done" is aggressive antics. On the aptly named MADboard, a question was posed to Gordon: "How did your meeting with Elder Oaks go?" Gordon dodged the question for days, until finally offering up an odd "denial": Yes, he'd met with Oaks, but it had nothing to do with FAIR. (Or so he claimed.) The truth of the allegations remains a matter of speculation.

6. Don Bradley Gets Re-Baptized Longtime Church critic Don Bradley stunned both sides of the Mopologetic/Critic divided when he announced that he was getting re-baptized into the LDS Church. In general, he was congratulated, and he seemed happy about his choice, though some critics probed rather deeply into his reasons and motives. His main justification for his decision: the Church makes him "a better person."

5. The Flourishing of Cassius University 2010 saw spectacular growth for the world's premier place to study Mopologetics. University Dean Gadianton Robbers oversaw numerous additions to Cassius's world-class faculty; the Hon. Reverend Kishkumen returned from hiatus; Cassius launched several new peer-reviewed journals; and the University received a new level of acclaim and recognition.

4. Will Schryver's FAIR KEP Presentation Hailed as the KEP theory to end all KEP theories, Will Schryver's long-anticipated FAIR presentation showed that the apologists have been on a fool's errand. Looking baffled and embarrassed in Kerry Shirts's riveting documentary of the aftermath, such Mopologists as Mike Ash, Wade Englund, and David Bokovoy stood aghast as young Chris Smith made utter mincemeat out of Schryver's Dan Brown-esque presentation. Arguing that the KEP represent some kind of "secret code," Schryver managed to convince the apologists that he'd "scored a major point" at the same time that he utterly confused most of them. In the wake of the presentation, Schryver was challenged by KEP scholar Brent Metcalfe to an informal debate on John Larsen's "Mormon Expression" podcast. Schryver flipped out, issuing a series of absurd demands in response, and effectively chickening out of the debate.

3. The Defeat of Daniel C. Peterson Though some observers have stated that Dr. Peterson's retreat from online debate is just yet another rehash of old behavior, the fact remains that the "Kingpin" of FARMS left at a most inopportune time. Rumors have begun to swirl that both he and FAIR "hero" Will Schryver were both ordered by SLC HQ to completely cease online debate--a claim which seems to be supported by their noticeable absence from the messageboards as of late.

Perhaps even more interesting, Prof. P. was "defeated" by TBM poster Pa Pa, who was awarded the Sampson Avard Golden Scepter award for his brilliant display of rhetoric and critical ingenuity.

2. Mormon Scholars Testify The launching of the joint FAIR-FARMS venture "Mormon Scholars Testify" represented a watershed moment in the history of Mopologetics. The site demonstrated a subdued, reined-in DCP who seemed more interested in seeming "Chapel" than "Internet." Originally promoted as an apologetic venture (later to be described, oddly, as a "missionary effort"), the site was immediately a lightning rod for criticism, though. Critics pointed out that it was really little more than an extended appeal to authority: an attempt to make Mormonism seem plausible just because people with Ph.D.s happen to believe in it. Other problems emerged, too: some of the testimonies seemed to contain seriously unorthodox views on doctrine. Furthermore, Dr. Peterson predicted a rate of testimony publication that has yet to be fulfilled. Later, one of the testimony-bearers credentials were shown to be problematic after it was revealed that he'd purchased a spot in a "Who's Who"-type award book.

In the end, it's not entirely clear what MST is supposed to represent. Is it evidence that Dr. Peterson was strong-armed into "going Chapel"? Is it really a secret apologetic weapon, whereby DCP uses the scholars as "cannon fodder" for his endless war with critics? Time will tell.

1. The 2nd Watson Letter is Found After close to a decade of inquiries--both formal and informal--FARMS bonehead Matthew Roper dropped the ball when he agreed to send the infamous "2nd Watson Letter" to Dr. Greg "Goldblum" Smith. Without thinking, Smith posted the letter both on MAD and on the FAIRwiki, and to everyone's surprise, it was not a "Watson Letter" at all. Instead, it was a fax from some person named "Carla Ogden."

The 2nd Watson Letter had been a critical piece of Mopologetic folklore for at least a decade. The letter had been cited in a article written by Mopologist lieutenant Bill Hamblin in an effort to refute the 1st Watson Letter, which had been written on FP letterhead, and which stated the doctrinal position that the Hill Cumorah is located in New York. Obviously, this view contradicts prevailing Mopologetic views, and so Hamblin, apparently desperate to combat criticism, seemingly quoted the Carla Ogden Fax verbatim.

Later, Brent Metcalfe revealed that the Ogden Fax was not even an original document. It appeared, instead, to be text written for an entry in the Encyclopedia of Mormonism. In spite of all this, both Bill Hamblin and Daniel Peterson continued to insist that there existed--somewhere, at sometime--a "real" 2nd Watson Letter, written on FP letterhead--a letter which supposedly post-dated the 1st Watson Letter and which supposedly reproduced the exact same text featured on both the Ogden Fax and in the Encyclopedia of Mormonism entry. This marked one of the most embarrassing moments in Mopologetic history, and it is doubtful that the apologists will ever be able to live it down.

* * * * * * *

All in all, 2010 was a terrific year in the world of Mopologetics. I can hardly wait for 2011. Happy holidays to all, and here's to another year of Mopologetic defeats!

[_MrStakhanovite]

in b4 Simon

[_Presbyter]

I can only fathom what must have happened that made you so acrimonious and resentful. But I'm glad that you've found something that gives you meaning and purpose, no matter how juvenile it might be.

[_MrStakhanovite]

9. The Apostasy of Darth J. The apologists created one of their most formidable new enemies in the form of the poster known as Darth J. Stunningly erudite, and with an encyclopedic knowledge of apologetic issues seeming at his fingertips, Darth J. has made mincemeat out of every apologist who's been stupid enough to confront him. Dr. Darth J., a professor at Cassius University, has noted that the aptly named MADboard played a pivotal role in leading him out of the LDS Church.

Dr.Darth may be number 9 on the list, but he'll be number 1 in my heart!

[_Dr. Shades]

I lie not when I admit that this is the annual thread that I most look forward to all year.

[_sock puppet]

Fantastic re-cap, Dr Scratch.

I could feel Auld Lang Syne playing in the back of my mind as you took us down that path of 2010 memory lane.

[_Doctor Scratch]

Thank you, Dr. Shades and Dr. Puppet. I'm just a humble scholar, and I'm grateful that my work is useful and/or interesting to you. Your praise brings a tear of gratitude to my eye such that I have to remove my monocle to wipe it away.

[_RockSlider]

Might have posted it too soon. The Mad board vacation is like the giddy anticipation of who will be the next bishop.

Maybe the DCP/WS pressure to back down runs much deeper than just those two. With all the new lds web site, red book published, news room do-over, advertisement campaigns etc. The old MAD likely does not fit into the new/hip/Christian marketing vision/campaign that seems to be rolling forth with much expense.

It is obvious that the MAD site is well funded (good equipment, maintenance contracts of the board software etc.) Can't help but wonder what financial strings are being pulled. Heck maybe they'll put Meldrum in charge of the thing?

[_3sheets2thewind]

if you read will s. departing post - I think it is in the social hall a few months back, before his kep presentation - it reads more of little kid who took his marbles elsewhere, because not everyone said how cool his marbles were.

[_Doctor Scratch]

Might have posted it too soon. The Mad board vacation is like the giddy anticipation of who will be the next bishop.

Maybe the DCP/WS pressure to back down runs much deeper than just those two. With all the new lds web site, red book published, news room do-over, advertisement campaigns etc. The old MAD likely does not fit into the new/hip/Christian marketing vision/campaign that seems to be rolling forth with much expense.

It is obvious that the MAD site is well funded (good equipment, maintenance contracts of the board software etc.) Can't help but wonder what financial strings are being pulled. Heck maybe they'll put Meldrum in charge of the thing?

That's an interesting hypothesis, Rockslider. I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens.