My interview with the missionaries

[_zeezrom]

I don't have a lot of time to make this write up very polished. I'm only reporting what happened. 16 mishies flew with on the airplane today. The amazing thing is that all 16 of them are going to the same mission I went to! I sat in seat 13F, a window seat next to two elders fresh out of 2.5 weeks in the MTC. The one right next to me is from Las Vegas and the other one from West Jordan, Utah. What are the odds I would sit next to the missionaries? LOL.

I approached the missionaries as I would have years ago as a TBM. I decided early on that I would not let on to being apostate. What good would that do? They were so excited with so much riding on their future. This is the beginning for them. The last thing I wanted to do was to poo poo on their parade. I could see the happy, excitement in their eyes. It would be heartbreaking to delve into my loss or shoot any fire darts into their dreamland. With my BYU shirt on, our conversation moved very quickly into the daily life of a missionary at the MTC. They were very comfortable with me and I, with them. We are like peas in a pod, LOL. We laughed and talked about the quarks of missionary life. The West Jordan elder asked me if I gained weight on my mission and I told him I gained a lot. He weighed the same I did before I left. I told him to eat well and exercise. That is something I did not do well and regret it today.

They told me extra fiber is put in the orange juice at the MTC. One day, the cooks put too much in it, making a sister head over to the infirmatory for a couple of days. They put extra protein in the eggs too. That seems odd since eggs have a ton of protein already. Apparently, there is a new video for the mishies to watch when they arrive at the MTC. It encourages good eating habbits for the next two years, explaining that their choice in steak should not be rare and no bigger than a "hockey puck". The elders joked about how this made them sad.

While we were talking, I noticed the West Jordan elder pick up the Airline's magazine, which happened to have a full-cover size image of Marion Cotillard on it. It is a beautiful picture of her. The elder looked at it for a moment then paused with his thumb on the edge as if he was wondering what to do. I felt for a moment that I knew exactly what was passing through his young mind. Suddenly he threw it back into the pocket of the seat in front of him, as if the magazine turned into a filthy serpent. I could feel so much about this young man. With the excitement in his voice, the newness of his adventure ahead of him, and this new way of living under the rules of the Lord. He was in a new place of strict, pious living. He was ready for this experience to change him and mold him into the ideal believer. The real world is far behind him. I know what he is feeling.

A sudden urge came over me. I wanted them to be happy. I wanted them to fulfill dreams (they have many) and achieve the most they can in their imagined world ahead of them. I decided I would tell them something that would have been useful for me to hear years ago.

This is what I offered them: "I spent the first year on my mission a tight-wad. The only advice I want to give you is that you make sure you have fun. Don't try and change your companion. Don't push people. Don't force anything. If someone you meet just needs a friend, don't be afraid to just be their friend, no matter what the Zone leader or district leader tries to tell you. Don't feel bad if you don't acheive your numbers goals. Other missionaries will always report better numbers than you. Don't let that get to you." I'm not sure how they internalized that. It didn't appear to be something that resonated with them. Maybe I planted a seed? I hope so.


We started discussing the teaching tools. Today, missionaries use an approach that differs than the one I used. I had a series of 6 discussions each containing a subject or two of the basic theology of Mormonism. We were required to memorize these and also know the scripture verses that went along with them. Today, the missionaries use a manual called, "Preach My Gospel", which covers the same basic principles as the discussions but the content is used as a mere guide to help the missionaries teach with a more personable approach.

The guy from West Jordan explained to me that you first try to find a common standing with the investigator and be friends with them. As you discuss things, you "throw in" the basic principles where it makes sense. I admit I like the approach better than what I used as a missionary. It is a step closer to being more real with real people. But the guy sitting right next to me (from Las Vegas) said something I felt was a step back. He mentioned that the most important part to teach people is a section in "Preach My Gospel" is the section on the "laws". He happened to have a little "pirated" copy made small enough to go in his scripture case and he pulled it out to show it off to me. I was impressed. It was very small! He said he bought it from a guy that makes them illegally. LOL. Anyway, he showed me this section that covers the 10 commandments, Law of Chastity, WofW, and other basic rules you follow in order to stay worthy of a temple recommend. He said "this is what we are taught to focus on. It is the basics." I thought this was odd that the MTC is teaching missionaries to focus on this. Why? Later on, I followed up with this issue. It turns out, the Law of Chastity is emphasized as one of the main concepts since "many people are living together before getting married." I thought that was interesting. Both elders emphasized that this was an important topic. It is located in chapter 3 of section 4, I think.

The Las Vegas guy made another interesting comment. We were discussing the TRC, which is a role play center in the MTC. I can't remember what that stands for. Members from off the street come in here and pretend to be investigators so the missionaries can practice what they learn in the classroom. I used this when I was a missionary and hated it. You could tell the investigator was using some script and it just felt so horribly fake. They told me the church pays non-members to come in and role play. They said a few of these nonmembers have ended up getting baptized! I love the MTC folklore! These guys role played with a JW kid who wanted to know all the dates of when Joseph saw the vision and started the church, etc. Anyway, this Las Vegas elder told me they also visited with what he termed as, "A full-on Christian." I asked what he meant by a "full-on Christian" and he replied that it means he was totally into the KJV of the New Testament. He didn't know much about the Book of Mormon but was very knowledgable about the Bible. While in the RTC roleplay, this full-on Christian started aksing the two boys about New Testament concepts and they were floored. They realized they knew very little about the New Testament. I just felt his use of words to describe this guy (full-on) was interesting. Why don't these missionaries consider themselves as full-on Christians?

[Anonymous]

What an interesting narrative, Zeez! You write very vividly.

I think you treated the missionaries very kindly. I'm glad you gave them some real and practical advice they can really use. Part of what you said was aimed at cautioning them not to be too hard on themselves, and I think that is a good message to impart.

[_Buffalo]

What an interesting narrative, Zeez! You write very vividly.

I think you treated the missionaries very kindly. I'm glad you gave them some read and practical advice they can really use. Part of what you said was aimed at cautioning them not to be too hard on themselves, and I think that is a good message to impart.

I wish someone had been there to tell me that. I was always feeling guilty for doing something or not doing something, even though in retrospect I was a pretty good missionary.

Of course, I wouldn't have listened. I was deeply programmed to be self-critical at all times for all infractions, big, small and imaginary.

[_3sheets2thewind]

I hated the role play at the MTC, I was severally disappointed when I learned it was all contrived and an exercise in futility. I felt lied to too about the whole ordeal. I honestly do not think role play does a person much good, in terms of emotional/spiritual discussions.

[_stemelbow]

I hated the role playing in the MTC too. I just didn't take it seriously at all and didn't see how it was going to help, so I made a mockery of it. The MTC teachers thought I was a bad kid for doing it though.

now I want to tell my story, even though I know it doesn't fit well here and stuff...

So i was "the bad kid" in my MTC district, maybe for in part making a mockery of the role playing. They had those one-on-one interviews with the MTC instructors every couple days or whatever. Since I was bad or troubled or whatever the instructors must have somehow communicated to each other about me. So I was singled out each time for those one on one interviews. The other missionaries thought it was funny, except my companion, he just thought I had some severe issues that I had to talk with them about, which I didn't.

Anyway, the one night instructor always took me aside to discuss trying to get me to open up and discuss my troubles or something. One night, after a few encounters she said, "let's go outside and walk around a little".

"Alright, whatever".

We walked for a few then sat on a bench kinda hidden, if that's possible, from people and traffic. Of course it was serenely quiet since everyone was in classes anyway. So she had me sit, and she sat next to me, touching me with her leg and dangling foot. It was right sexy, particular for this inexperienced young lad who avoided girls like the plague as a teenager. Anyway, one thing led to another, well…nothing happened. She got all flirty and I pretty much responded with a bit of coldness. She expressed how she wanted to hug me, which confused me because she was touching me already and I felt a bit violated as it was. And suddenly the classes got out. She kinda straightened up, awkwardly, as the crowds rustled by as they headed back to the dorms. I saw a couple of folks that I knew. I didn’t know what to say but hi. Soon enough the atmosphere became quiet again. No one was around. She persisted for a few more minutes and then I just said, worried about what my companion was thinking, got up and motioned to the room again. She stood up all perky and we started back. She said, “what would you say if I told you I loved you.” Huh? That was stupid.
I responded, “probably run off”. I made sure we hustled upstairs and back to our room, where my companion was dutifully cleaning all by himself. He and I quietly headed back to our room and he never asked about it all. Anyway she was clearly hurt after that and I was clearly annoyed. I didn’t really talk to her or address her the rest of the week or two we had left. On the last day she just said, “I really hope you write me, Elder.” As she shook my hand, even though I wouldn’t look her in the eyes.

Oh those were the days.

[_Rambo]

Anyway, the one night instructor always took me aside to discuss trying to get me to open up and discuss my troubles or something. One night, after a few encounters she said, "let's go outside and walk around a little".

"all right, whatever".

We walked for a few then sat on a bench kinda hidden, if that's possible, from people and traffic. Of course it was serenely quiet since everyone was in classes anyway. So she had me sit, and she sat next to me, touching me with her leg and dangling foot. It was right sexy, particular for this inexperienced young lad who avoided girls like the plague as a teenager. Anyway, one thing led to another, well…nothing happened. She got all flirty and I pretty much responded with a bit of coldness. She expressed how she wanted to hug me, which confused me because she was touching me already and I felt a bit violated as it was. And suddenly the classes got out. She kinda straightened up, awkwardly, as the crowds rustled by as they headed back to the dorms. I saw a couple of folks that I knew. I didn’t know what to say but hi. Soon enough the atmosphere became quiet again. No one was around. She persisted for a few more minutes and then I just said, worried about what my companion was thinking, got up and motioned to the room again. She stood up all perky and we started back. She said, “what would you say if I told you I loved you.” Huh? That was stupid.
I responded, “probably run off”. I made sure we hustled upstairs and back to our room, where my companion was dutifully cleaning all by himself. He and I quietly headed back to our room and he never asked about it all. Anyway she was clearly hurt after that and I was clearly annoyed. I didn’t really talk to her or address her the rest of the week or two we had left. On the last day she just said, “I really hope you write me, Elder.” As she shook my hand, even though I wouldn’t look her in the eyes.

Oh those were the days.

Sweet story Stem. I should make a thread called things you did not act upon because your were Mormon or are Mormon. Yeah that sounds like a fun thread to read.

[_zeezrom]

Blixa,

Thank you for taking the time to read this! You are too kind. :)

Stem,

I'm totally amazed. When I taught at the MTC, I looked at missionaries as young, scrappy kids. You must be one hot dude! Please tell me what famous actor you are most mistaken to be. I had a comp who people said looked like Tom Cruise.

Was she hot?

[_stemelbow]

Stem,

I'm totally amazed. When I taught at the MTC, I looked at missionaries as young, scrappy kids. You must be one hot dude! Please tell me what famous actor you are most mistaken to be. I had a comp who people said looked like Tom Cruise.

Was she hot?

That's probably what confused me the most. I get a lot of the, well used to get a lot of the, "you're cute", but nothing near sexy (I had my picture posted here before, someone might remember). I'm a small dude (5'7" 160 lbs, and probably 125 or 130 then). That was probably the most confusing part for me, she was quite attractive, what did she need little old 19 year old, heading out for 2 years me for? I think I tossed and turned in the MTC bed a night or two over it--can't really remember.

One day she left her short shorts in the room probably too entice me, claiming she was running late and had to change in bathroom. Yeah, right...I was on to her game.

[_gramps]

Hold on! I sense this is soon going to have to be moved in to the masturbation thread in telestial.

What were you saying Stem?

[_moksha]

They put extra protein in the eggs too.

This extra ingredient is saltpeter. Its efficacy has been shown to be virtually nil to the rest of the world, but Senator Orin Hatch insisted that saltpeter is a nutritional supplement that has worked wonders for him over the years, so the MTC decided to keep it on the menu. I bet the airline food tasted strange to them without it.